Page 42 of Verse Two
I walked to the door of my apartment and almost dropped my phone when I saw who was at my door.
Smiling, Wilder said, “Surprise, bitch!”
Rushing to her, I wrapped my arms around my best friend and squeezed tight. I felt myself tearing up as we embraced.
Laughing, she said, “I missed you, too. Now let me in this house. It’s cold as hell.”
Releasing her, I sniffled and quickly opened the front door.
Wilde set her bags down, then gave herself a tour of my small space, while I followed behind her like the thirsty best friend I was. I missed her so much, and I had been through so much in the last few days that I wanted nothing more than her presence. I knew she was hella busy, though, so I wasn’t about to ask her to drop everything and visit me. I was glad she did, though.
Her last stop was my bedroom, and I didn’t need her to tell me how she felt about the place, because it was written all over her face. But, of course, she did anyway.
“I hate it. Come home, please.”
Her bluntness caught me off guard, and I burst into laughter.
“It is not that bad, Wilde. I think it’s kinda cute in here.”
Walking over to my bed, Wilder plopped down and rolled her eyes. “Well, you think wrong, because it sucks.” She patted the spot on the bed beside her. “Come hither.”
I sighed. She now had that look on her face that said we were about totalk. She was fully up to speed on everything that happened with Brick because she was the first person I called when I made it to Paris.
On that phone call, Wilder allowed me to get everything out of my mind and heart. She let me yell, scream, cry, and laugh until I had no more words or tears for the situation.
Sinking into the semi-firm mattress, I glanced at her.
She raised a brow. “You okay?”
Turning so that I was on my back, I stared at the ceiling. “No.”
“You want to talk about it?”
Did I?
Everything was still so fresh, and it all hurt so bad that just the mere mention of the man’s name would make me emotional. The best thing about having Maria as a boss in this season of my life was that she kept me entirely too busy to worry about my own issues. Lying here with Wilder, though, I couldn’t escape the depth of my sadness. I wiped a tear that had fallen and released a shaky breath.
In a voice barely above a whisper, I said, “This shit hurts, Wilde.”
Without words, she moved closer to me and pulled me into her arms. I rested there and allowed the tears to fall as I continued.
“I think what hurts the most is that a week ago, I had no problem spending the rest of my life with that man. We had done so much talking about our futures and how they included each other. I believed all that.
“I’ve been in love with him all my life. I carried the middle school version of him with me all this time, but I used to dream about what the grown-up Brixton was like. When we ran into each other, and he was even better than I imagined, I just felt like itmade sense. Like, ‘of course this is who I’m supposed to be with.’ I felt like my life was falling into place, and I thought he was right there with me.”
Wilder tried patting my tears away, but it was useless, because they wouldn’t stop coming.
“The man was everything I hoped for and more. Until he wasn’t. I can’t unsee what I saw, and I can’t unfeel this hurt. I hate his ass. I hate that he met up with her. I hate that he let her kiss him. I hate that he didn’t push her ass away from him. I hate that I’m still crying about it.”
As I spoke, Wilder nodded but said nothing.
“But even with all that hate, Wilde, I stillwantthe man. And that is some bullshit.”
“What if it ain’t though?” she asked, prompting me to snap my head in her direction.
“Why would you say that?” I asked.
She sighed. “Best friend, listen. In the years I’ve known you, I’d never witnessed you as happy as you have been since you ran into that man. If he is actually on some bullshit, then forget him. But what if it really wasn’t what it looked like? I just think that, for as strong as your feelings were—are—for him, you should have a conversation with the man before you write him off. Just so you won’t have any regrets in the long term.”
