Page 103 of Ignite
I touch my fingers to my abuser’s neck. I know he’s dead, but I still need to check. I let out a weak cry when nothing thuds beneath his skin.
God, I hate these feelings bubbling up inside of me, threatening to overcome me. Ihatethem. Had Cain not been injured, I would fall apart in this room. But the worry over his safety has me shoving my emotions down, down, down. I know they’re going to crush me later.
I let myself sink into that place where I existed during my abuse, locking everything away until I operate on auto-pilot. It’s like a different Ezra takes over. One not affected by emotions. He exists, but just barely. He’s alive, but he’s not human.
I rush for the balcony. Thankfully, the gunfire has ceased. Rev is heaving Cain up by the arm as he flags in and out of consciousness. The pool of blood left behind on the pew has my heart lurching in my chest, threatening to unleash what I just caged up.
“Jesus, Cain,” I mumble, reaching out to wrap my arms around his other side.
We carry him down the stairs and load him in Rev’s truck. Then Rev hands me the keys and my phone.
“My leadership skills are needed here. We still haven't found Gabriel. Have Alaric send you the address for our doc. He’s already expecting Cain.”
I stare down at the keys with wide eyes. “Rev, I don’t know how to drive.”
But he’s already darting across the street. He shoots me with finger guns. “Gas on the right. Brake on the left. You’ll figure it out.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
EZRA
We made it to the ER but not without difficulties. I ran two red lights, nearly took out a street sign, and parked the truck on the sidewalk. Somehow, Cain remained calm throughout the chaos, which only proved to me that he wasn’t well. No one fully conscious would let my lack of driving skills slide without aggressive commentary.
The doctor informed me Cain had indeed ripped his stitches. They fixed him up and wheeled his sleeping body into a room where they’d posted me up.
No one blinked twice at my half-naked, cut-up state. I suppose if the staff tends to Sinro’s employees, they’ve seen far worse.
Isaac stopped by to drop off spare clothes and check in with me. I mumbled replies to his generic questions, assuring him that I was fine to watch over Cain for the evening.
In reality, I don’t think I’ve ever been so far from okay. The fall from adrenaline has me sinking deep into a pit. If I could untangle myemotions, maybe I could figure out what the fuck I was actually feeling because it’s too much all at once.
I spend the evening pacing the hospital and checking my phone for updates from Rev on the search for Jakey. By the time sunlight pours through the windows, creating what look like dreamsicles on the tiled floor—sleep deprivation at its finest—I’m running on empty. I’d nearly worn through the skin on my fingers, rubbing them over the gold coin I hadn’t realized I’d stolen from Mason’s pocket.
Something to remind me that he’s really gone.
Cain is dismissed shortly after a terrible hospital breakfast. I listen to the doctor’s strict orders on auto-pilot. Then I’m loading Cain into Rev’s truck in the connected parking garage, perspiration beading on my skin from the effort of supporting his massive body.
“I may have been out of it last night, but I could have sworn you parkedonthe sidewalk,” Cain says as I buckle him.
“I moved the car. Possibly twenty times last night,” I admit. “City parking is stupid.”
“Ezra.”
I ignore his weighted gaze, seeking to pry under my weak armor. “I’m fine. It’s fine. Everything’s fine.”
Of course it’s not, but we make it back to Sinro without another word. Isaac meets us at the garage elevator. He helps me drag Cain into his bed and forces pain meds into his mouth. I watch Cain settle in, aware of Isaac sneaking concerned glances at me. I’m so over it.
“Ezra, you should rest,” Isaac says. He’s perched on the edge of the bed by Cain’s feet.
“Not while Jakey’s still out there.”
“How about you wash up, then? I’ll make sure Cain stays in bed.”
I shake my head. Isaac doesn’t understand. Honestly, I just want him gone. I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to relive anything right now. I don’t know what I need, but I know it’s nothing anyone could offer me.
Feeling a prick of guilt, I lie and claim I’m hungry.
“Food. Okay.” Isaac nods. “That’s a good idea. I can grab something across the street.”
