Page 92 of Chaos
And it seemed I would never be free from its snare.
Chapter
Twenty-Three
GRIM
These little mid-morning walks of mine were becoming increasingly tedious. I was typically a being who kept busy. Instead I spent my days wondering what Merri was doing, who she was with, and what I could do to protect her. Like I said, tedious.
With an annoyed huff, I lengthened my stride, intent on putting an end to this nonsense and going back inside where I could at least use one of my brothers to distract me from these incessant thoughts. Before I could make the turn that would lead me back to the house, I caught a flash of red in my periphery.
Everything in me tensed, my body going tighter than a piano wire. Merri.
Without conscious thought, my body moved toward her, its new destination set.
Fuck me. I couldn’t recall a time in my long existence I’d ever been so out of control of myself. I couldn’t even touch the woman, but being near her was enough. It was all I had.
For now.
I grimaced at the voice in my head, reminding me that while I was the equivalent of a god, I was also a man. One who hadn’ttested the waters of complicated human urges in a very long time. Until recently.
Fingers balling into fists so tight the leather of my gloves creaked in protest, I fought the wave of desire that rolled through me. I’d been captivated watching Merri be fucked by Sinclair. So aroused I’d been in pain until I finally allowed myself to come when they did. As much as I might wish to be the one doing the fucking, I’d long ago made peace with my reality. I think it was that acceptance that allowed me to set aside things like petty jealousy and just appreciate the beauty of her in the throes of pleasure, regardless of who might be giving it to her.
Or I could be lying to myself. Not that I’d ever have a chance to put it to the test.
Soft sniffles from Merri doused the flames of lust caused by my memories, the sound setting me on alert. What had made her cry? Who did I need to kill?
Part of me hoped it was that insufferable Frenchman, if only so she could watch me rob the bastard of his soul. If it was one of my brothers, it would be a bit harder to enact justice.
“Wildflower?”
Merri startled, spinning around and dropping the object she’d been holding in the snow. I’d never thought much of a woman’s tears, but the sight of her with the crystalline beads hanging from her lashes robbed me of breath. I wanted to capture this moment, find a way to mount it on my wall. Not because she was sad, but because she was the single most exquisite creature I’d ever known.
And I’d known them all.
She knelt down and scooped the scrap of dirty fabric out of the snow, dusting it off with deliberate care.
“I can’t believe he threw it out,” she murmured. “It’s my fault.”
More tears slid down her cheeks, and it was all I could do to pull out a handkerchief rather than use my finger to wipe away the moisture.
“Here, love. Dry your eyes, and then tell me what all this is about.”
She accepted the scrap of silk with a soft snort of amusement. “I didn’t take you for a Boy Scout.”
“Pardon?”
“Always prepared.”
I lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “You never know when you might?—”
“Stumble across a damsel in distress?” she offered, dabbing at her cheeks and then delicately blowing her nose.
“Something like that.”
Merri tucked the now dirty cloth into the pocket of her unbuttoned coat. It was my turn to snort, though mine was annoyance rather than amusement. As if on cue, she shivered.
“What am I going to do with you?” I grumbled, stepping closer and grabbing the lapels of the thick coat before fastening each button until she was as bundled as she could be.
