Page 89 of Chaos
“Uh-huh.”
I spun back around. “I wasn’t. I was too busy handling the cameras.”
“Whatever you say, Mal.”
My eyes narrowed. “It’s true.”
She gave me a saucy salute. “I totally believe you, Mr. Singularity.”
Spine stiffening at her use of my handle, I set my jaw and forced myself not to react. She was baiting me. Merri knew exactly which of my buttons to push.
“Is that something you’d like to do more often? It seemed to suit you and see to your needs quite well.” In truth, if we could get her to live stream with Sin or Chaos on a semi-regular basis, that just might get us where we wanted to be. Namely, her pregnant and the apocalypse thwarted.
Her eyes grew distant and she shrugged. “I dunno. Maybe. It was good for feeding, but I’m not sure how my core audience would feel about it.”
That reaction wasn’t what I expected. She seemed... hesitant. While Merri had always been guarded when it came to sex with a partner—until Sin proved she wouldn’t kill him—she’d maintained a very sex-positive attitude and wasn’t ashamed of her profession. For the succubus, sex was a necessary part of life. It wasn’t something dirty or shameful. So why would she have even a hint of shame or caution now? Perhaps during our training today I could uncover exactly what caused that response.
She seemed to return to herself, noticing that I was studying her. She straightened and blinked at me. “What? Do I have something on my face?”
Latching onto the excuse, I nodded and moved closer to her. “A little toothpaste... right here.” I used my thumb to brush at an invisible spot beside her lower lip. If she caught the spark of sexual interest that blazed to life within me at the small touch, she thankfully didn’t call me on it.
I needed to get a hold of myself before I forgot who and what I was. I couldn’t go around touching her face and closing the distance between us like she was my lover if I expected to keep myself safe. I already cared about her far more than I should. Certainly more than I ever wanted to. My feelings for Merri werea complication neither of us needed. Especially since I had to watch her be impregnated by another man. Jealousy burned in my gut, but I doused the flames.Feelings,blech. They ruined everything.
The last time I allowed myself to care like this, I sired a son. And look where that got me. I’d been made a fool, a piece of me stolen, and above all, weakened.
“Well, are you just going to stand there and stare at me, or are we going to practice?” Merri’s sweet and sass-filled voice yanked me back into the moment.
It was my turn to straighten. I took a few much-needed steps away from her. “Ready when you are.”
“You’re giving me advance notice this time? How gentlemanly of you.”
I sneered at her, my lack of amusement dripping from each and every word. “I thought it was time to see how far you’ve come in building your mental barriers since, until now, your mind has been as easily accessed as a Whitechapel whore.”
Merri pressed a palm to her chest and made an exaggerated O with her mouth. “Not the Jack the Ripper references! How scandalous.”
“Oh, excuse me. I meant sex worker. Though I doubt Jackie boy called them that.”
She rolled her eyes. “You probably were the Ripper, for all I know. You seem like the type.”
“Do I?”
“Yes. Sneaky, quiet, arrogant . . . horny.”
There was no missing the challenge in her blue irises or the smirk curling her lips. Fuck. I knew she’d clock my lust the second it bubbled up.
“The Ripper was hardly horny. He hated women.”
“Or he wanted one he couldn’t have. Hate is but the other side of love, is it not?”
“And she’s a philosopher.”
Her eyes lit with mirth. “I’m telling you, the guy had blue balls.”
“Or perhaps he was aroused more by killing than he was fucking.”
“So... exactly like you then, Mr. Horseman, sir.”
A little growl built in my throat, and Merri snorted.
