Page 125 of Chaos
MALICE
Imoved through the house without really seeing my surroundings. Christian’s update had been positive, though that was expected. His work with the wards was vital to our remaining here undetected, and the reinforcements he was fortifying would ensure that continued to be the case. It was reassuring to know that he only had a couple more days of work ahead of him.
Maybe once he was finished, I would start breathing easy again.
Liar.
I scowled at the little voice in my mind. The one that knew the conflicted way I was feeling had nothing to do with wards. I’d been out of sorts since Hades’s revelations. Longer, if I was being honest, but who wanted to do that?
Merri’s importance to the state of the world wasn’t new information, but to know Hades considered us a crucial piece to this puzzle beyond simply breeding her was too much to take. He’d said we’d find our partner. That she was, like the other three before her, the key to stopping this with us at her side. Ididn’t want to be some lovelorn fool like him. Love made you weak. I was not weak.
As if the universe was listening to my thoughts and wanted to prove me wrong, I came to a dead stop outside of my room, my eyes drawn to the delicious redhead standing on her tiptoes as she attempted to place something onto the shelf above my desk.
For one long heartbeat, I gave into the temptation to drink in the sight of her in my space. Noting how right she looked amongst my most prized possessions.
“What are you doing?” I snapped, pushing back thefeelingsI didn’t want to hold space for.
She let out a little squeak of surprise and flinched before spinning around to face me, her cheeks pink. “The door was open.”
“So you think you can just walk right in?”
“I thought you might like to have that back. It’s important to you.”
My gaze went to the poppet she’d returned to its rightful place. I was such a raging arse.
Her eyes dropped to the floor, and she fidgeted. She looked so innocent standing there in her pajamas, a damp spot blooming over the fabric beneath her braid. She must have just finished showering and getting ready for bed. The thought of her naked and dripping in suds took over my mind, and I grumbled in disgust. Not with the image, but with my weakness. Here I was, acting exactly like the thing I most despised.
“I found it in the snow. I was going to give it back sooner, but... well, the sky is on fire and you hate me.”
She sounded so miserable I had to intervene.
“I don’t hate you.”
“Yes you do.”
“No, Merri. I don’t hate you. Not for lack of trying on my part.”
She tilted her head like an inquisitive little bird. “You wanted to hate me?”
“I don’t think it should come as any surprise that I didn’t want anything to do with you. But that wasn’t exactly up to me, and despite my best efforts, you wormed your way beneath my skin anyway.”
“This is a very strange conversation. If you’re trying to convince me that you like me, I’m not sure it’s working. Especially not after the way you’ve been avoiding me the last few days.”
How did I admit to her that I was avoiding her because I liked her? Because the way she made me feel was the most unsettling thing I’d experienced in my long existence? She barreled through my walls like they weren’t even there. No one should have been able to do that.
“I’m sorry I invaded your mind the way I did. I wish you understood that it wasn’t on purpose. I will never intentionally do something that might violate your privacy again.”
Fucking hell, I needed to fix this. She was taking the blame for something she couldn’t help. I had caused it by pushing her and by opening her up to mind work.
“I suppose it's not the worst of my secrets for you to have stumbled across.”
She blinked at me in surprise. “What?”
I moved closer, needing her to read the sincerity in my expression. Taking her by the hand, I admitted. “I might have, you know, overreacted.” It was harder than it should have been to force the words from my mouth. I wasn’t exactly an expert at apologies. In fact, I could hardly remember the last time I attempted one.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Don’t make me say it again.”
