Page 84 of Outlier
“Well, ignoring me isn’t being a bitch. You never hurt me.”
“But I did, didn’t I? I hurt your feelings.”
I blinked as I turned to Bertie who was tied up next to his stable. He nuzzled my face, and I stroked his velvety nose in return. I thought back to arriving at Buckingham Manor when I was six, how imposing the building and grounds were, how scared I was when Mum shoved me out of the car and drove off, how frustrated everyone seemed that I wouldn’t speak, how embarrassed I was that first night when I sat for the family meal, but there was nothing on my plate that I could eat. Ollie hadn’t returned from boarding school at that point, so it had just been me, Claire and Margot sitting at the table. I’d never met anyone as posh or as glamorous as either of them.
Even fourteen-year-old Claire looked like something out of a magazine.
I’d snuck out of my room that night, unable to sleep as I was so hungry, but stopped on the stairs when I overheard Claire shouting.
“Why do we have to put up with Dad’s attention-seeking little bastard? It’s weird, Mum. How am I going to explain her to my friends? Oh yeah sorry guys, this is just my illegitimate little sister. My dad not only likes to shag around, but he also expects us to take care of the consequences for him.”
“I’m not any happier than you, believe me,” snapped Margot. “But I’m sure she’ll stay out of your way. It won’t affect your summer too much, darling.”
“She had better stay out of my way.”
I’d scampered back up the stairs then, too worried about being caught to risk going to the kitchen to find something I might be able to eat. After that, I made a concerted effort to stay out of Claire’s way.
By the time Ollie came home, I’d perfected the art of staying out ofeveryone’sway. But one morning after he’d been home for a week, when I hadn’t eaten any breakfast, yet again, he took me to the kitchen and pulled out nearly everything in the fridge and cupboards, then held up each item, one at a time, until I nodded. And okay, he didn’t make my breakfast himself, he was a future duke after all, but he did instruct the cook to do it.
Then, one day, he even sought me out in my room, saying, “Ah, this is where you’ve been hiding,” and took me out with him to the stables. So, noteveryoneignored me completely, but Claire certainly had as much as possible.
Then as the years passed, and after Dad died, I sensed the open animosity from Claire lessen. The birth of her daughter, Florrie, definitely helped play a part in this, as even when she was a baby, Florrie always gravitated to me at the family functions I was invited to.
I found Florries’s unexpected devotion to me incredibly special—she was one of the first humans to give me a spontaneous hug. But despite her daughter’s likely misguided affection for me, Claire maintained her distance. Florrie’s dad was never really in the picture, and then Claire married Blake, which didn’t help my relationship with her at all.
I absolutelyhatedBlake. He was the first one to start the ice princess nickname, and he always smelt of stale alcohol. I have a very overdeveloped sense of smell, and that man made me want to gag if he was within five feet of me. Luckily, he was out of the picture now.
I sighed. “It’s fine, I was invading your space here. Invading your home.”
Claire scoffed. “You were hardly invading anything, Vicky. I barely saw you. Listen, I had no idea what your family was like at home. But even before all this happened and everything came out, I was feeling terrible. I know I’ve been a bad sister to you, but?—”
“Half-sister,” I corrected automatically.
Claire sighed, and I heard her feet on the cobbles as she came nearer.
“Sister, Vicky, remember?” she said softly. “You’re my sister. My daughter calls you her auntie. You’re family.”
“Oh.” I didn’t know what else to say to that.
“I should have done this a long time ago but… can I hug you? I know there’s a certain way you like to be hugged. Ollie practised it with me, so that I would get it right.”
“You practised hugging me?” I turned to her. My chest felt tight, and my throat was burning now.
When I looked at Claire, there were tears in her eyes.
“Well, yeah. I didn’t want to fuck up my first hug with my sister.” There were two beats of silence as I stared into her tear-filled eyes. Then on instinct, I launched forward into her arms. “Oh, okay,” she said, surprised, as she hugged me back tightly. “Well, that was easier than I thought.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “Do you forgive me, darling?”
I pulled away and stepped back to frown at her. “There’s nothing to forgive, Claire. You weren’t cruel or mean to me.”
“Yes, I was,” she said fiercely. “You just think that if someone’s not hurling insults at you or hurting you, that’s a win. You’ve been taught to have low expectations of people. And I’m a big part of the problem, but I’m going to do better. I promise. Look, I came down to fetch you. We’re going to play croquet, and that man of yours is looking grumpy that you’re not up at the house.”
“Mike’s here?” I smiled.
It was Saturday, and Mike had deliveries in London, so I said I’d wait for him at the cabin. However, after he left, I was invaded by all the Hardings en masse, plus, Lottie and Hayley. They said they wanted me at Buckingham Manor for a family day, and now that myjailerwas away, they’d come to steal me back. Ollie was the one to describe Mike as my jailer. Apparently, he wasn’t overly impressed that Mike had beenhogging me all week.
I’d actually had a good day with them all.
Hetty came over too, with Felix’s mother, Bianca, and the Buckingham staff had made us all afternoon tea with scones and small sandwiches, including the plain cheese ones that I could eat.
