Page 79 of Gold Digger
“It stopped being fake the moment you promised you were mine when I was deep inside you.”
“Ollie!” Her cheeks were bright red now as her eyes darted left and right in embarrassment, and I felt my chest fill with hope.
“No, scrap that. All of this has been veryveryreal from the first time I kissed you. No! From the very first conversation we had when you told me not to be a dick.”
Her eyes flew wide. “Ollie, that was before any of?—”
“I know,” I said firmly. “I know it was. And I know I’ve been a relentless prick since then as well, but it doesn’t change the fact that you’ve been mine since that conversation?—”
“You can’t?—”
I took a chance and reached up with one hand to her face, that warm hope in my chest spreading when she didn’t flinch away. “And I’ve been yours, Lottie. I’ve been yours, and I always will be. My family is your family. You and Hayley belong to me, and I belong to you.”
For a moment I had her. She leaned into me again very slightly, her breath huffing out of her mouth and her pupils dilating as she stared up at me. Then a car horn sounded, she flinched, and the spell was broken. My stomach hollowed out as she stepped back out of my reach.
“I can’t let myself believe you,” she said in a whisper that I could only just hear over the rain. “It’s dangerous for me to…” she closed her eyes, shutting me out. “I can’t fall down again. I’m not sure I could get up the next time.”
I reached for her again, but she was ready for me this time. She whipped around to the facial recognition lock on the outer door (the one I had put in last week) and disappeared into the building. I stood looking after her in the pouring rain for what seemed like an eternity, but turned around just as the town car pulled up.
“Ollie!” Hayley said as she sprung out of the car. She ran to me, and I caught her up in my arms for a hug. As well as managing to speak more, Hayley was a lot happier to show physical affection with people she trusted, not just her sister.
“Hey, stowaway,” I said to her, juggling the umbrella to keep us both dry as I crouched down to her level. “Good day at school?”
“The best! We had Yorkshire puddings!”
“Wow.” I smiled. “Thatisa good day. Any day with Yorkshire puddings is a damn good one if you ask me.”
I’d been seeing her regularly like this for two weeks. As well as the times when she came over for play dates with Florrie. Florrie and Claire were living with me now, and for theforeseeable future. It all came out after the fundraiser – the alcohol, the abuse. Claire’s shock at Lottie seeing right through it all when her close friends and family hadn’t suspected anything. I know Claire had spoken to Lottie and apologised, but Lottie had been adamant that Claire hadn’t done anything wrong. She was just pleased that Claire was safe. She told Claire something she said she’d been told as a child, that “everyone has a right not to be scared”. My chest felt tight even remembering that there had been a need for somebody to say that to my Lottie as a child. That there had been reason for Lottie to be scared when she was just Hayley’s age.
Blake had gone to Alcoholics Anonymous and spent most of his time either begging my sister to give him another chance or begging me to give him his job back. Neither was going to happen. The fundraiser had shocked Claire into action and she’d cut off contact completely. Florrie for her part was more sad about not seeing as much of Lottie than anything. But then she’d not been Blake’s biggest fan for a long time.
I think the fact that my dad had been so uninvolved in my childhood allowed me to make excuses for Blake; allowed me to normalise his poor relationship with his stepdaughter. But the truth was that Dad was a stranger to me when he died, and that’s not actually okay. I certainly didn’t want that type of relationship with Hayley or Florrie.
Hayley tilted her head to the side. “You gonna come up today?” she asked softly.
I shook my head. “I’m sorry, stowaway.” She frowned. “We’ll get there, okay? Do you trust me?”
“Yes.” She answered immediately, no hesitation. That unquestioning trust was precious, and I was going to do everything in my power not to break my promises to her.
“Everything okay with your sister?” I asked.
She bit her lip then and looked to the side.
“You can tell me anything, you know.”
“Lottie’s sad all the time,” she whispered. “She pretends for me but…” she shrugged. Just like her sister, Hayley knew if someone was unhappy. There was no hiding anything from those girls, even from each other. “She’s worried too. My grandparents want me to—” Her voice broke, and I felt a shot of fury.
“They want you to what, darling?” I asked softly, tamping down my anger.
“They want me to live with them. They asked me about it. I want to live with Lottie. I can’t be without Lottie.” Her voice was starting to sound a little panicked, and I pulled her in for a hug.
“Nobody is taking you from your sister,” I said firmly into her hair, pulling back to look her straight in the eye. “You understand me, sweetheart? I won’t let anyone separate you guys ever. Right?”
Hayley tilted her head to the side and then gave me a sharp nod. “Right.”
One sister’s trust secured; one to go.
Chapter 38
