Page 76 of Gold Digger
I wasn’t their flesh and blood, so I wasn’t welcome. I could count on one hand the number of times I’d even set foot in their house.
Loud footsteps thundered down the stairs, and my startled gaze turned in Hayley’s direction just in time as she collided with me like a hug-seeking missile.
“Hey, lovebug,” I said softly, getting down to her level to return the hug. When I pulled back slightly to scan her face, my smile froze. “You okay?” She looked down at the floor and shrugged, totally closed off and not bloody well speaking. When I dropped her off at the start of the weekend Hayley had been happy. What was going on?
“Hayley,” Brenda said, her voice strained. “Go and collect your things. I need to have a chat with your sister.” Tony emerged from the kitchen to stand next to his wife.
“Off you go, love,” he told Hayley.
Hayley paused for a long moment before she ran off upstairs.
“Why has she been crying?” I asked them once I was sure Hayley was out of earshot.
Brenda’s mouth set in a thin line and Tony shifted uncomfortably on his feet. “We just wanted to plant the seed that she comes to live here, with us. We thought we should explain things to Hayley before the safeguarding hearing in a couple of weeks. She… er, didn’t react well.”
“I know she was making progress, but after we talked to her, she’s…” Tony shifted uncomfortably on his feet, rubbing the back of his neck. “Well, she’s not spoken at all since.”
“You’re joking?” I snapped, and they both flinched. They knew how much progress Hayley had made. She’d actually spoken to them both when I dropped her off yesterday. I rolled my eyes. “Don’t worry, I’ll fix it.” And I would, just like I always did – on my bloody own. “Come on, Hails,” I shouted up the stairs.
“We really didn’t mean to set her back,” put in Brenda. When I looked at her, I could see real regret in her expression. “I-I don’t think we realised how much the suggestion of separating the two of you would upset her.”
“Well, now you know.” I stared at them both with a steady, unsmiling gaze.
Hayley chose that moment to fly down the stairs with her bag in tow and into my arms. She shied away from Brenda and Tony when they tried to give her a hug. Tony cleared his throat as we were about to walk out of the front door.
“Maybe we could come along to one of Hayley’s sessions with that chap you mentioned,” he said, his voice gruff. I frownedat him. Brenda and Tony were always firmly anti the treatment I set up for Hayley. They felt that if weplayed upto her condition, it would perpetuate it. Neither of them acknowledged the trauma of her early childhood as a contributing factor. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. My instinct was to tell them both to Fraggle Rock off, but how would that help Hayley?Imight not have extended family, butshedid. That was important. They were important – part of Hayley’s tapestry of support. That’s why I’d arranged for this overnight visit despite their recent push for custody. Hayley had been more comfortable with them over the last two months, and I thought it was time.
I swallowed past the lump in my throat.
“Okay,” I said slowly. “There’s a session on Tuesday. I’ll text the details.”
“Okay,” Brenda said and shocked the crap out of me by offering me a shaky smile.
Hayley didn’t say anything on the tube home, and I didn’t try to make her. When she was stressed it was best not to force her to speak. It would come when she relaxed enough. All I did was keep my arm around her, kiss the top of her head and tell her that nothing would keep us apart. Her tense body did eventually relax, and by the time we arrived at our stop, she was fast asleep. She was so dead to the world that I decided to carry her home. Not ideal given our neighbourhood and the amount she’d grown over the last few months. Just as I paused to readjust her in my arms at the top of the tube steps, a large figure came into my peripheral vision and I started in shock.
“Hey, hey,” Ollie said, his hands up, palms forward. “Sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to scare you.” The people-pleaser in me was desperate to ease the tension between us, but I was done being that girl. That girl just got walked all over and her heart broken. So I just pretended he wasn’t there.
I started walking, and he fell into step beside me. “Lottie, I’m sorry. So, so sorry.”
“I know you are,” I said, pleased with myself at my ability to keep my voice steady. But I’d promised myself that I’d done all the crying I was going to do last night. I’d given myself those twenty minutes, and I wasn’t dedicating any more emotional energy to it.
“Okay,” Ollie said slowly. “Well, that’s great. So you and Hayley can come home?” It was then I noticed a black car idling next to us at our walking pace.
“Ollie, I know you’re sorry,” I told him, readjusting the dead weight that was Hayley in my arms as my muscles burned under the strain.
“Let me take her,” Ollie said softly, and I shook my head in sudden jerks.
“No,” I snapped. “I can look after her.”
“I know you can, Lottie, but let me help.”
“Just leave us alone.”
“You don’t have to do everything and manage everything on your own all the bloody time,” Ollie said, his voice rising with the growing impatience that was pouring off him in waves.
I let out a humourless laugh so bleak it sounded painful even to my own ears.
“I’ve been managing everything on my own for my whole life. It’s not a choice I made, Ollie. I didn’t wake up one day and think: hey, you know what? I’d love to just have to knuckle down and make a life for myself and my sister completely and utterly without help. This is the hand I’ve been dealt, not a choice I’ve made.”
