Page 13 of Gold Digger
“It’s not quite that, I?—”
“And you’re feeding this girl? So you’re basically paying her to come to your house, sleep, and eat your food?”
“She studies as well.”
“What?”
“She’s doing an Open University course. Psychology. So, she studies as well.”
Felix burst out laughing. “You’ve got it bad.”
I scowled at him. “I know, dickhead. That’s why I’ve made the mistake of talking to you twats about it. Clearly, I should have kept it to myself.”
Both of them were in hysterics. Felix was almost crying he was laughing so hard.
“Well, just start fucking her then. What’s the problem?”
“She works for me,” I said through gritted teeth. “I can’t justfuck her– that’s harassment. And she still calls mesirandYour Grace.”
“What the fuck?” Felix spluttered as they both started laughing again. “Nobody calls you that! Does she know that we’re not in the eighteen hundreds anymore? Who told this chick to call you Your Grace.”
“I’m calling you Your Grace from now on,” Mike said through a wide smile. “That’s gold right there.”
“I’ve asked her to call me Ollie multiple times, but she completely refuses. I’m stuck. I can’t ask her out. It’s clear she really needs this job, so I can’t fire her. I’m not sure if she’s in debt or something, but she really needs money. She’s got a second job waitressing at one of my bloody clubs of all the places.”
“Oh fuck.She’sthe reason you pinned Giles Bartholew-Smithe to the table last month. Not saying the bastard didn’t deserve it, but it did seem a bit of overkill.”
“That fucker deserved way worse,” I muttered darkly. “All those dickheads did, and that includes your mate, Will, Felix.” Will worked at Felix’s company and had been one of the losers sitting at that table along with my own drunk brother-in-law. Blake and I had had words – the poor guy had been off his face and not really aware of the situation. I’d let him off, seeing as he was celebrating landing a big deal with a supplier that day. Honestly, Blake was a bit of a fuck-up sometimes, but I knew hewas harmless, and he’d never deliberately behave like a shitbag. Will, on the other hand, seemed anything but harmless.
“I’m not mates with Will,” Felix said with a frown. “He’s an employee. There’s a difference. Anyway, what did he do?”
“It’s what he didn’t do,” I said. “Lottie brought them all a massive tray of drinks, and those smug fuckers just sat there, not clearing any space for her to put it down. Then Giles grabbed her under her skirt.”
“God, Smithe is such a slimy weasel. He’s not going to be able to show his face in public soon if he keeps this up. I heard Verity Markham eviscerated him the other day at the opening of the LSE building for being a dodgy piece of shit.”
“Christ, ifyoudon’t crush this guy, Harry York will be next in line. What an idiot.”
“Yeah, well, I had to fire the manager and change the waitresses’ uniform rules. Who the fuck thought it was a good idea for waitresses to carry heavy trays of drinks for hours on end in high heels? I’m not surprised a fair amount of women just plain hate men – who would blame them? We’re clearly the lowest form of inconsiderate twat. Anyway, I also had to deal out some lifetime bans to some of the members, including Smithe and his whole table – that includes your mate, Felix.”
“He’s not my?—”
“But the bottom line is, I don’t want Lottie working there.” I closed my eyes, and a vision of Lottie in that club filled my mind. That caramel hair swept up in a high ponytail, her fresh face clean of make-up, taller than her normal pipsqueak stature with the high heels elongating her legs, a lethal combination of sinful and innocent making it impossible for her to just blend into the environment. There was no ignoring Lottie. I watched as men I knew to be relatively normal most of the time lost their train of thought when she refilled their glasses and broke off important conversations to stare at her arse as she walked away.It was maddening. Because Lottie wasn’t just some bright, shiny thing to be ogled. Yes, she was beautiful, but she was also funny, kind, amazing at chess, self-deprecating, quick-witted… fuckingperfect.
“So, offer her money,” Felix suggested, and Mike punched him in the arm. “Hey! What was that for?”
“How do you think that’s gonna go, dickhead?” Mike asked. “Thedukesays to hiscleaner, who, by the way, he wants to fuck something bad, ‘Yo, cleaning-lady-I-want-to-fuck, how about I give you a shitload of money so you don’t have to work? And guess what? You can fuck me instead!’”
Felix winced. “Okay, I see your point.”
“Exactly,” I said. “I’m stuck.”
Chapter 8
Don’t bullshit a bullshitter
Ollie
“Oliver Harding, what on earth are you doing?” my sister Claire asked as she, her daughter Florrie, and my other sister Vicky all blinked up at me from the front step of my house. Vicky I was expecting for the meeting that afternoon, but Claire and Florrie were showing up unannounced as usual.
