Page 23 of Goodnight
Yes … he was kind. Goodie swallowed, her throat for some reason closing over. What was the matter with her? A plate of biscuits, a glass of milk and someone giving a shit that she slept on the floor and she was turning soft. She needed to pull herself together. Her eyes flew open as she heard footsteps on the stairs in the main house. She lifted her head from Salem to listen; the tread was unmistakable. Clenching her teeth, she sat up against the cold wall and waited. After a minute or so (his progress through the corridor and kitchen was surprisingly slow and peppered with low expletives and at least one chair falling to the ground), he pushed open the boot-room door.
All she could see at first was a massive duvet suspended in midair before a large hand reached up to pull the top down and Nick’s smiling face appeared above it, complete with thatfuckingdimple. Goodie was rarely affected by men and the way they looked; she could usually manage to view them in a rather abstract way. She could tell if a man was attractive, she could sense that appeal; it just never affected her the same as it would other women. But with Nick … she couldn’t put her finger on it but over the last two months those smiles, those brown eyes often shining with humour, his strong jaw and that fucking dimple were working their way under her skin. They made her feel … odd. They made her stomach hollow out and her chest feel tight.
Maybe she was ill? She could have easily picked up dengue fever on that last job she was on.
‘Room for one more?’ he asked, shoving the duvet and about four pillows in through the narrow doorway with some difficulty. Salem looked at Nick, then at the mass of bedding next to him, gave a loud humpf and turned away from the chaos to go back to sleep. Goodie wished she could do the same but had a feeling that was not going to happen any time soon. Nick scooted down next to her and sat up against the wall, close enough for their arms to be touching. Goodie could feel his heat, smell his masculine yet clean, citrussy scent, and was gripped by a desperate urge to move away – but that would show weakness, that would show he affected her, it would expose vulnerability; and Goodienevershowed weakness, sheneverallowed herself to be vulnerable. So she sat perfectly still where she was, hoping he’d give up on whatever game he was playing and simply go away.
‘I’m not going anywhere,’ he said into the silence, as if reading her thoughts. ‘If you’re going to sleep on the floor then I’ll sleep here with you.’
‘Have you always managed to get your own way?’ Goodie asked, and Nick shrugged.
‘Most of the time,’ he told her unrepentantly. ‘Although I find most people easier to manipulate than you.’
Goodie sighed. ‘I’m tired,’ she admitted before she could stop herself, and felt his body jolt in surprise. She could see out of the corner of her eye his face turning towards hers, but her gaze remained fixed straight ahead.
‘Do you know,’ he asked, then paused as he reached up to her chin and turned her face towards his, ‘that’s the first time I think I’ve ever heard you admit any kind of frailty.’ He was staring straight into Goodie’s eyes, and his breath was fanning her cheek. She stopped breathing. For some reason she felt like she was falling; she felt out of control. Then his hand left her chin and reached up to the side of her head, smoothing her matted-from-sleep hair down as his gaze roved over her face and his mouth hitched up at the side in a small smile.
‘What –?’ Goodie started to say but was cut off by Nick’s mouth on hers. It was a light kiss, tender even, and after a moment he pulled back a small distance, searching her expression as if asking for her permission. Her chest felt tight, her heartbeat stopped altogether and then sped up uncontrollably and she experienced a flash of real fear.
‘Goodie?’ Nick whispered, concern now washing over his features, his brows drawing together in a frown. Goodie closed her eyes slowly, blocking his out. Her quick mind was able to step back up into gear now that she had broken the connection between them, and she went through her options at lightning speed. She had slept with targets and informants before, but rarely clients. However if she needed to manipulate someone she would do what she had to do to get the job done. Nick’s concerned face flooded her mind and she knew that he must have seen the fear in her eyes. If she backed off now she would be confirming that to him; she might even garner his … pity. The thought made her feel sick. She could treat this like any other job. All she had to do was claw back her shields and go to the place in her mind she always went whenever something intimate was on the agenda.
She would wipe that look of pity from his face.
Chapter12
Just like she was trained to do
Nick watchedas Goodie’s eyes opened again, and searched for the panic he could have sworn was there before she closed them, but her ice-blue gaze was now blank, all emotion wiped from her expression. She moved quickly, her mouth crashing down on his and her hands going up into his T-shirt.
‘I want you,’ she told him, her voice husky and unbearably sexy as her hands traced over his abs and the muscles of his chest. He sucked in a sharp breath – he could tell something was off, there was an unnatural desperation about her; but with the woman he had been obsessing over finally touching him, he became incapable of rational thought.
‘Christ,’ he rasped as one of her hands moved down to his crotch and all his ability to think was obliterated. He drove both his hands into her soft hair and took control of the kiss, pushing her back to lie on the duvet he had dumped on the floor. He pulled her hands from him and unzipped her hoody, revealing the black bra beneath. Her body was more amazing than he had imagined (and he had a good imagination and had invested a fair amount of time on this endeavour when it came to her, so that was saying something): she was all defined, toned muscle, combined with softer curves. She was magnificent. She rocked against him and her hands went to his belt, frantically pulling at the buckle. Something about her movements jolted Nick out of his lust-induced haze. He dragged his eyes from her breasts and stomach to her face and he almost flinched. Her expression was blank and her jaw was clenched.
‘Goodie?’ he whispered, and her gaze flew from his belt to his face briefly before focusing just over his shoulder. ‘Hey … hey,’ he muttered, grabbing her hands to still them in her frantic attempts to undo his belt.
‘What is problem?’ she asked sharply, her Russian accent thicker than normal and a frown marring her beautiful face.
‘Where did you go?’ Nick asked, his eyes roving her face. He gathered both her small hands in one of his and reached up to cup her cheek, stroking across her cheekbone and up to her crescent scar with his thumb.
‘I am here,’ she said, jerking her head to the side, away from his touch.
‘No,’ Nick told her, ‘no you’re not here. Where have you gone? Why are you so scared?’
‘Scared?’ Goodie spat, wrenching away from him, and then scuttling back against the units next to Salem, who raised his head in surprise.
* * *
Goodie was breathing hard,her exposed chest rising and falling. She desperately wanted to zip her top, but knew that would show yet more weakness. She had perfected the type of meditation that took her out of her own body many years ago. The fact was that there were times in her life that she needed to be able to separate from herself; torture situations being one example, any form of intimacy being another. But nobody,nobodyhad ever called her on it. Nick made a move forward and she flinched – fuckingflinched. What was wrong with her? Salem could feel her tension and flattened his ears against his head, letting out a low growl. She stroked his head and muttered to him that everything was okay in Russian – Salem could smell fear and the only other times Goodie had been as tense as this was when they had been in mortal danger, so she didn’t exactly blame him for his reaction. Nick continued to move towards her, his palms up like he was approaching a terrified wild animal. When he was inches away he reached down to her zipper and surprised her by hooking it together and pulling it up, covering her to just under her chin.
‘Are … are you okay?’ he asked softly, and for the first time since Goodie was eight years old she felt her eyes sting with tears. She blinked rapidly and gritted her teeth. What the fuck was going on? Nick turned and sat next to her on the floor up against the units leaving just a little more space than before, which she was grateful for. They sat in silence for a few minutes.
‘Um, Goodie?’ he asked.
‘Yes?’
‘Look, I don’t want to pry or anything –’ Goodie sucked in a breath preparing to have to explain her reaction to him ‘– but … well, you don’t seem to have the full complement of toes.’
Goodie blinked, letting out a short bark of laughter in her relief (but unusually for her not noticing Nick’s body jolt at that rarity) and staring sightlessly down at her bare feet. Yes, she was two toes down – both her little toes were missing and part of her third toe on her left foot; ugly scars marked where they had once been.
