Page 32 of Unworthy
“You’re not hurt,” he said on an exhale, and filled with such a huge amount of relief that I frowned. His hands came back up to my face and slid either side of my jaw again. “Jesus Christ,” he said again, his voice ragged as he searched my expression. “Don’t ever do that to me again.” Then he kissed me.
As his mouth met mine, that sense of relief swept over me again. It was as though keeping our bodies apart from each other caused unacknowledged physical pain. One of my hands pushed up into his hair as I returned the kiss, craving this contact with him that had been haunting my fevered dreams for two weeks. But then voices from above us jolted my brain back into a semi-functioning state and I froze. It took a moment to realise that they were coming from the cliff path. I pushed at his huge shoulders and he immediately pulled back. Once his weight had left me, I wasted no time in leaping up to my feet and he followed suit. The voices faded away as the people passed by. Heath and I stared at each other and I felt my hands clench into fists by my sides. Just as I opened my mouth to ask him what the bloody hell he thought he was doing here, he beat me to it.
“Never do anything as dangerous as that ever again.” Gone was the fear and concern, then desire from before. Heath was now clearly furious. My eyebrows shot up into my hairline and my mouth dropped open.
“Me?Iwasn’t the one sea swimming in all my bloody clothes and trying to get us both cut to shreds on the rocks. What on earth haveIdone that’s dangerous?”
Heath ran both his hands through his wet hair and looked up at the sky for a moment before his eyes came back to mine. That haunted expression was back in them and his voice was also back to being ragged and tinged with disbelief. “You jumped off a cliff–”
“Pfft. It was a few feet up and–”
“It was a bloodycliff!”
“Well, you jumped off it too!”
“Only because I saw you disappear under the water and not resurface. I thought…” he trailed off and his face darkened again at the remembered pain. When he spoke, it was it just above a whisper. “I thought you were gone, Midge. I thought I’d lost you. Jesus, when you didn’t come up, I couldn’t… I didn’t…” To my absolute and everlasting shock, his voice broke at the end. It was the unshed tears and his broken expression as he described me disappearing under the water that made me move to him.
“Hey, I’m okay, Heath. I promise,” I said, my tone much softer as I took a step forward and reached for his hand. Once my fingers touched his, he enclosed my hand in a tight grip and pulled me towards him with a jerk against his chest. His arms wrapped themselves around me and squeezed me in a tight hug. Heath’s heart was hammering in his chest under my ear and he took a huge breath in while he continued to hold me tight. I tried to pull back a little to look at his face, but he kept me right where I was. “Honestly,” I mumbled, “I do that all the time.” His arms flexed a little at that statement and he let out a rush of air. “I know where all the rocks are. I know this whole coastline like the back of my hand.”
“Why didn’t you surface?”
“I… I can think more clearly down there. It helps me clear my mind, makes me feel at peace, I guess.”
My head moved with his chest as it expanded with another deep breath. He loosened his grip so that he could look at my face, but kept me in the circle of his arms. “I know I don’t deserve to tell you what to do.”
“Er… I hate to tell you this, big man, but even if youhadn’tbeen a prick to me, youstillwouldn’t be able to tell me what to do. I’m kind of a fan of free will.”
“Right, I understand that, but could I ask a favour? Even though I don’t deserve it?”
“Depends what the favour is.”
“Please, never do that again.”
I frowned. “I just explained to you I knew what I was doing. You’re the one who was in danger wearing all your clothes and those stupid shoes. I’m a strong swimmer and I know this coastline.”
“Nobody should ever jump off a cliff–”
“It wasn’t a–” His arms tightened for a moment to cut me off.
“Nobody should jump off a cliff into the water to free dive, not surfacing for longer than should be humanly possible on their own. Especially without anyone even knowing where they were.”
I rolled my eyes. “It’s fine. I–”
“Anything can happen, Yaz. You’re the one that knows the sea so well, so you know that I’m telling the truth. The sea is unpredictable. You know someone should spot you when you free dive.”
“Heath, you’re being ridic– ”
“I thought I’d lost you.” There was that broken tone again. The pain that flitted across his expression was so stark I drew in a sharp breath in shock. “I don’t even want to contemplate a world without you in it. Iwon’t.”
The ravaged quality of his voice and the residual wet in his eyes got to me then. Warmth bloomed in my chest as I stared up at him. That was why I whispered, “Okay,” and why when the relief flooded his face, I allowed him to lean forward and rest his forehead on mine as he closed his eyes.
“I know you don’t want me anymore,” he said softly. “That what happened before was just our bodies’ reaction. And I know I haven’t earned this, but can I just hold you now? Just for a moment.”
“Okay,” I whispered again as he pulled me against his chest and rested his chin on top of my head. My arms went automatically around his back and I gave him a gentle squeeze as if to reassure him I was still here, that I was alive. Standing there in his arms, I felt something in my chest unfold. Some of the armour I’d built up around my heart when it came to him began to show the smallest chink.
Then he had to go and speak again.
“I’m so glad you’ve agreed you’re never going to do that again.”
