Page 70 of Broken Heart Syndrome
I rolled my eyes at Ash.
‘Please, for once, spare me the proverbs, okay? I don’t think Dylan is evil, he’s just …’ It had been two days since Dylan’s confession. I still couldn’t get my head around it. I never would have guessed that he would have lied to me and about me, and I certainly would never have guessed that he had had strong feelings for me.
After I made a hasty exit from Gladys’s room I had managed to avoid Dylan. When I did see him I’d noticed that he looked miserable and worried.
Before I talked to him, or for that matter Tom, I had decided to get some advice. The most reasonable and impartial person I could think of was Ash, so I’d gone for a drink with him after work. Unfortunately Lou was not in the mood to be kept in the dark so she’d muscled in on the drink as well, as was her way.
The three of us were sitting in the corner of the pub, and I’d just told them both everything that had happened with Tom (brushing over the sex details in deference to Ash looking supremely uncomfortable and Lou looking a little too interested), and then everything that Dylan had admitted to me. So now it was advice time.
‘… in love with you,’ Lou finished for me.
‘Sorry?’
‘He was just in love with you, Frankie,’ she said softly. ‘I guess love can make you do crazy things.’ She shrugged and I narrowed my eyes at her. The Lou I knew would be swearing and promising vengeance on Dylan’s boy parts by now, unless …
‘You knew, didn’t you!’ I was shocked: Lou and I told each other everything, or at least I thought we did. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘Hold on, Frankie, chill your beans,’ Lou said. ‘I only found out recently, when Dylan’s guilt got too much for him. I was pissed off as well but he really does feel bad and he really did love you back then, even I could see that.’
As if we had conjured him up by magic, Dylan chose that moment to come through the pub doors into the bar area. He caught sight of us and gave us a nervous smile.
‘Ah, look at him,’ Lou said affectionately. ‘He’s so cute. He looks about as guilty as a nun squatting in a cucumber field. You’ve got to put him out of his misery, Frankie.’
Ash’s face was a mixture of shock and disgust as he looked at Lou, but I was well used to her turn of phrase by now.
‘You’re not the only one who can roll with a good proverb, big guy,’ Lou told him whilst playfully punching his shoulder. Ash was not known to be that informal, and by his horrified expression I guessed he was also not in the habit of exchanging shoulder punches with crude women. Luckily Dylan chose that moment to approach our table.
‘Uh … hi,’ he stuttered quietly in a very small, un-Dylan-like voice. ‘Can I get you guys anything?’ I looked up at him and it struck me that he was nervous. I’d never seen Dylan even slightly unsure in the past. That was when I made my decision.
I rose and walked around the table to him. He stood stock-still and I could tell he was bracing. When I got near enough I slipped my arms around his waist and pulled him in for a tight hug. His arms closed around me like a vice, and I felt him release a lungful of air he must have been holding into the hair on the top of my head. We stood like that for a minute, then I shifted away slightly, tipping my head back and smiling.
‘I’ll have a Baileys,’ I told him. For a moment I saw his eyes glisten as a look of relief swept through his features; then he recovered his composure and made a gagging noise before he addressed the others. ‘Please tell me you lot are having beers, I don’t think evenmymasculinity can take that much of a hit at the bar.’
‘Well,’ Lou sniffed and I turned to see that her eyes were wet as well, ‘you can get me a Pinot Grigio, Valleys Boy, and be grateful.’ Nothing else was said on the subject, and Dylan moved off to get the drinks (fortunately Ash did opt for a beer). When he was out of earshot I could feel Ash practically vibrating next to me.
I rolled my eyes. ‘Go on then, you loser. Let’s have it.’
He let out a relieved breath and said in a rush, ‘ “To err is human, to forgive divine.” ’
‘Holy shit, you really couldn’t hold that in could you?’ Lou sounded amused. ‘It’s like a compulsion or something. Youdorealize that it makes you extremely annoying company.’ Ash continued his safe policy of ignoring her.
‘What are you going to do about Tom now, habibi?’ he asked me seriously.
I shrugged. ‘Um, nothing?’
‘Why not?’ snapped Lou. ‘You know now he’s always liked you. Unrequited love, yadda yadda yadda … what’s stopping you?’ I gave her a look, and her angry expression faded to that of understanding. ‘Frankie, that has nothing to do with anything between you and Tom,’ she said softly. ‘I don’t know why you can’t see that no one cares about that stuff.’
I looked at my hands twisting in my lap, and in a small voice I said, ‘His mum wears stuff from the Per Una range in M&S. His dad’s an engineer. You should see the size of the house they all grew up in.’
Lou rolled her eyes. ‘Who cares?’ she practically shouted, and I could tell she was losing patience with me.
‘What are you talking about?’ asked Ash, looking between Lou and I in confusion.
‘Nothing,’ I said, flicking him a nervous glance. As far as I was concerned, the fewer people that knew, the better. I leaned into Lou. ‘It’s probably too late anyway. I’ve ignored him for over two weeks and I told you what he said …’
She waved her hand dismissively, ‘He didn’t mean that, Frankie, he was just salvaging some pride. You know what men are like.’
‘You must talk with him,’ Ash put in softly. ‘I would not advise this if I thought it would be for nothing.’
