Page 58 of Broken Heart Syndrome
‘Goodness me,’ the blonde lady exclaimed as she saw the boys on the floor. ‘Jack, that’s two marbles, and Benji, you don’t have any more to lose, so we may even have to go into negative numbers.’ Both boys looked up from their position below us.
‘What does ne-gar-nive numbers mean, Mummy?’ the smaller one asked.
‘It means that by the time you earn enough marbles to get the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Gun Car you’ll be married with your own lunatic children, and I’ll be in an old people’s home having a well-earned rest, and in no position to go to Sainsbury’s to get you one.’
The smaller child, who was evidently named Benji, eyed his mother for a moment, weighing up his options. He must have come to the conclusion that he no longer had anything to lose, as when his brother made an attempt to get up, Benji lunged for him and dragged him back down to the floor for a further bout of wrestling. The blonde lady rolled her eyes and readjusted the now squirming toddler on her hip. Her hair was up in a messy knot, and she had what looked like jam smeared across her cheek, but still she was quite obviously stunning. This became even more obvious when she smiled at me.
‘The marble thing isnot working,’ she informed me. ‘I think it’s designed for sweet little girls who like colouring and princess games, not for demons from hell who are completely unable to control themselves.’ I had to agree with her: neither of the boys seemed to care less about the marbles. But still, why she was discussing discipline techniques in a corridor with a complete stranger?
‘Um –’ I started, unsure how to proceed, but then Benji (the smaller of the two boys) struggled to his feet and said to his mother, ‘Don’t you think she looks like Princess Jasmine, Mummy?’
‘Princess Jasmine is gay,’ the older of the two declared authoritatively, ‘andAladdinis a gay film.’
‘Jack!’ the blonde lady I now knew as Sarah snapped. ‘I think, seeing as Princess Jasmine fell in love with and married Aladdin, that makes her decidedly not gay.Andeven if she were it wouldn’t have been a bad thing. She could probably have found her own princess to marry, no trouble.’
I heard thundering footsteps up the stairs and saw Tom rounding the top of the staircase looking furious.
‘For God’s sake, Sarah,’ he bit out. ‘I told you lot to wait downstairs whilst I parked the car, not charge up to Frankie’s flat unannounced and start discussing Disney characters’ sexual orientation with her.’
‘Benji said Frankie looks like Princess Jasmine,’ the older blond boy, Jack, said helpfully. ‘I think Princess Jasmine is gay.’
‘Well, Uncle Russell’s gay and he’s awesome,’ Benji told his brother hotly.
‘Lot’s of gay people are awesome, Jack, but I don’t think either Princess Jasmine or Frankie are gay, okay,’ Tom told him, his eyes warm on me. ‘Frankie, this is Sarah, my crazy, nosy sister, and her children Jack, Benji, Finlay and Baby Thomas.’
I gave them all a shy smile and a small wave, and then, seeing as we were all standing in the corridor (and I couldn’t very well give Tom his marching orders in front of his sister and her children), I said the only thing I could. ‘Would you all like to come in?’
‘Great,’ said Sarah enthusiastically, forging into my flat. ‘Oh don’t be such a little b-i-t-c-h, Tomboliboo,’ she added as she slapped his chest to get past him.
Once inside she didn’t appear to make any attempt to hide her rampant curiosity as she inspected her surroundings. The boys all charged in after her, leaving Tom with me by the doorway.
‘I’m sorry, Frankie,’ he said as he caught my arm when I made to follow them. ‘I tried to get rid of them at breakfast, but once she found out where I was going she insisted on coming to meet you.’
‘Tom, I –’
‘Don’t worry,’ he cut me off. ‘They’re Tasmanian devils but they’re fun, I promise, and we can both lie in a dark room together afterwards.’
I was just about to say that, whilst I was sure the kids were a scream, the idea of going out to lunch with him and his family was insane, and there was no way we would be lying together in any room together ever again, when there was more knocking at the door. I took a deep breath and opened it, thinking it was Lou back from netball, only to be confronted by a middle-aged couple, smiling from ear to ear. I had a sinking feeling that I knew who these new arrivals might be, and this was confirmed when Tom said impatiently, ‘Mum, Dad, I thought I said to wait in the van.’
‘Oh fiddlesticks, darling.’ The lady waved her hand at him dismissively, and I was surprised to hear that her accent was English. ‘I’m sure Frankie doesn’t mind. Do you, dear?’
What could I say? I smiled helplessly at them, and indicated for them to come into the flat.
Tom’s mum was dressed in what could only be described as‘Marks and Spencer!’from head to foot and her hair was in one of those grey bobs which weirdly stay unchanged in the face of all weather conditions. Unlike the rest of her family, her eyes were dark. But I could see whose eyes were dominant when I looked at Tom’s father. He was tall, with a full head of grey hair, powerfully built like his son, and with the same piercing blue eyes.
‘Mum, Dad, this is Frankie. Frankie, this is Jack and Mary Longley.’ By this stage my flat was stuffed to the gills with Longleys young and old. His parents insisted I call them Jack and Mary rather than Mr and Mrs Longley, but I could tell that whilst Tom’s dad and sister were unreservedly friendly, his mum seemed slightly guarded. It was obvious that she hadn’t quite made her mind up about me yet.
‘We’ve heard a lot about you, Frankie,’ Mary said after I had set everyone up with tea and some of my carrot cake.
‘Um …’ I wasn’t sure how to respond; I had no idea why he would talk to his family about me.
‘Seems you’ve been leading my son a merry dance,’ she said. The comment was meant to be lighthearted, but I could sense an undercurrent of disapproval.
‘Mum,’ Tom said in a warning tone.
‘Darling, I’m sure Frankie doesn’t mind if I ask her a couple of questions, do you Frankie?’
‘Of … of course not, Mrs Long … I mean, Mary,’ I stammered, totally intimidated.
