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“Thank you.” I leaned down and hugged him. “Goodnight, Uncle Jim.”

“Night, Kiddo.”

Once I’d washed up, I changed into a comfy old t-shirt and slid under the covers. I was about to switch my lights off when I remembered Matt’s note. I pulled open the drawer to my nightstand. Ignoring the mega box of condoms, I grabbed the stack of notes Matt had given me. I reread the top oneagain.Thought you might like this better. See you tonight.The salad had been delicious. Better than the ones they made in the cafeteria. But I hadn’t gotten a chance to thank him. Both him and Rob hadn’t been in class today. I’d sat there by myself wondering how much Matt had paid Mr. Hill to put us in the same group. And I wondered if Mr. Hill was so mean to me because Isabella had slipped him some money too.

I wasn’t going to see Matt tonight. I had no idea why he’d written that. But tomorrow I’d have to make a choice. My resolve to end things with Felix had faded fast. Would the same thing happen when I saw Matt? It was easy to tell myself I needed to walk away. It was another thing entirely to actually do it. Because I was pretty sure Matt was right. My face did light up when I was around him. It was easy to forget about how sad I was when I stared into his eyes. Especially when he stared back.

I looked through the other notes. It had become kind of a nighttime ritual. But it felt different tonight. Like reading his handwriting somehow made me breathe easier. Almost like I was with him.

There was a knock on my door.

I waited for my uncle to say, “Kiddo, can I come in?” like he usually did. But when his words didn’t come, I climbed out of bed.

Another knock made me spin around. I almost screamed but immediately swallowed down the cry. The knock was coming from my window. Matt was standing on my fire escape. With a bouquet of red roses and a black eye. For a second we just stood there staring at each other through the glass. My gaze lifted fromthe flowers to his eye again. What the hell was he doing? What the hell was I doing? He was hurt. I ran over to my window and lifted it open.

“Why are you so surprised to see me?” he asked and smiled. But the action made him wince.

“I told you I was coming over tonight.”

He hadn’t. Not in those words. But I couldn’t focus on that right now. “Jesus, what happened to your face?”

“It’s nothing. These are for you.” He lifted up the flowers, blocking his black eye from my view.

I didn’t care about the flowers. Even though no one had ever bought me flowers before. I grabbed them and pulled them away from him so I could see his face again. “What happened?”

“Nothing. Keep your voice down. Are you trying to get double grounded?” He climbed through the window and into my room.

I swallowed hard. I was definitely not trying to get grounded again. But having a boy my uncle hadn’t met climb through my window wasn’t exactly precedent for not being grounded again. “Matt.”

He turned away from me.

I knew I should have told him he couldn’t be here. But he was hurt. And he’d come to me for help. I walked over to him and put my hands on either side of his face. “Tell me what happened.”

He winced, pulling away from me. “I’m fine.” He looked around my room for a moment as he pulled off his varsity jacket. Then he sat down on the edge of my bed. “Come here.”

Why wasn’t he answering my question? I placed the flowers down on my nightstand. “Let me go get some frozen peas or something…”

He grabbed my waist and pulled me on top of him. My thighs straddled him, pushing the hem of my baggy t-shirt up. I froze. I wasn’t wearing any pants. I was straddling Matthew Caldwell on my bed in my underwear. And not cute lacy underwear. Underwear that came in a pack of five from Target that I’d had for years. I was pretty sure there was a hole in one of the seams.

“This is all I need,” he whispered. “You.” His hands stayed firmly on my hips as he stared into my eyes.

His left eye was almost swollen shut. The other one was red, almost like he had been crying. But I couldn’t picture that. I couldn’t picture Matt breaking. Everything about him exuded strength. My hands settled on his shoulders. “I can’t help with the swelling.”

He dropped his forehead against mine. Maybe he was worried I could see him. Really see him. Like he claimed he could see me.

“Tell me what happened,” I whispered. “Please.”

“I messed up. I was trying to find another way.”

“Another way for what?”

His hands slid slightly lower, his fingertips resting right above my ass.

It felt like all the air left my lungs. “Matt.”

He spread his fingers, his thumbs running along the top of my thighs, as the rest of his fingers squeezed my hips. “You’re perfect.”

For the first time I realized that the smell of cinnamon wasn’t wafting off of him. I lifted my forehead from his. My heart was beating so loudly that I swore he could hear it. The bloodshot eyes. The way he was acting. “Have you been drinking?”