Page 325 of Forbidden Billionaires: Vol 4
“I’ve never lost anyone that was close to me, Brooklyn. I don’t know what to say that could possibly make it better. All I know what to do is say I’m sorry because I am. I’m so fucking sorry.”
I turned back to look at him. “I hate that phrase. ‘I’m sorry.’ It doesn’t mean anything. You have nothing to be sorry for. It wasn’t your fault.”
“But I’m sorry that you’re going through something on your own. I’m sorry that I don’t know how to react. I’m sorry for a lot of things.”
I took a deep breath.
He pulled me into his arms, resting his chin on the top of my head. “Or if you’d prefer it…I’m not sorry.”
I laughed into his soft t-shirt. “Better.” I kept the side of my face pressed against his chest.
“If you ever want to forget for just a few hours…you know I can help you with that.”
I closed my eyes. God, Kennedy was right. He just wanted to sell me drugs. I should have slapped him. Or pushed him off of me. But I was in desperate need of a hug. So I just stayed where I was. For one minute. Maybe five. But his sentence hung awkwardly in the air the whole time. “I will never buy drugs from you, Felix.” There. It was out there.
“I wasn’t asking you to buy them, newb. I’d just give them to you.”
I closed my eyes tighter. So maybe he wasn’t trying to sell me drugs. But he was still pushing them. “Being numb is no way to live,” I said, quoting my uncle from my night over the toilet bowl.
Felix ran his hand up and down my back. “Okay.”
Another awkward silence stretched between us.
Felix cleared his throat. “You know, my parents are never around,” he said. “It’s probably one of the reasons we get along so well.”
I knew he was trying to understand. But he didn’t. His parents were coming back. I was never going to see my mom again. Orhear her laughter. Or dance with her around the kitchen. She wasn’t coming back. And I didn’t know how to let her go. But this helped. “Probably,” I said into his chest.
“So this can be written down in the books,” Felix said. “The first time you skipped gym class to hug someone under the bleachers.”
I laughed and looked up at him. I was supposed to be telling him I just wanted to be friends. Not because Matt had told me to. But because I’d planned on telling both of them that today. Friendship was all I needed. But would Felix still hold me like this if we were just friends? Would he still try to listen to me when I was sad? I had a feeling that he wouldn’t. And I didn’t want to have to say goodbye yet. I hated goodbyes. The only one I’d ever had to say before was permanent.
***
My uncle turned off the TV and looked over at me. “You’ve been awfully quiet tonight. Something on your mind?”
I shook my head. “The movie was great. I was just really into it.” I hadn’t been paying attention at all. I didn’t even know what movie we had been watching.
“It was crazy when that guy stole the horse,” he said.
“Mhm. So crazy.”
“We were watching Office Space, kiddo. There were no horses.”
I laughed. “I must have zoned out.”
“Right, right.”
“I should probably get to bed.” I stood up.
“Brooklyn?”
I looked down at him. He’d lost weight. His shirt looked a little baggy and his cheeks weren’t as plump. I was good for him. It was good that I was here. Maybe it’s where I was supposed to be. I couldn’t save my mom. But I could still save my uncle.
He smiled. “I may have been a little hard on you the other night. How about you invite Kennedy over after school tomorrow to do homework like usual?”
“Really?”
He nodded.
