Page 196 of Forbidden Billionaires: Vol 4
He lifted me in his arms and placed me gently on the bed. His face looked pained. Maybe he didn't feel like he could say how he felt. But that was okay, because he didn't have to say it. Hewanted to give me the world. I could see it in his eyes. And I just hoped that I was enough for him. That I could fill that hole in his heart.
I held my breath as he knelt down in front of me on the bed. He locked eyes with me as he spread my thighs apart and leaned down between them. He kissed the inside of my thigh and made a slow ascent up.
Jesus.
Every other time we had been intimate I had asked him to fuck me. But that wasn't what I wanted in this moment. I wanted all of him. His body, his soul, his heart. He already had mine.
***
My chest felt tight because we hadn't come to any understanding. He made love to me like it was his last chance. Not like it was the start of something great, but like it was the end. I didn't want to face reality. I wanted to live in this dream world that we created. Where we traveled all over the US and stayed in fancy hotels. I wasn't ready to say goodbye. I wasn't ready to face whatever came next.
Tyler's arms were wrapped tightly around me and his breathing was deep. I knew he was asleep. I turned toward him and stared at his perfect face in the darkness. "I love you," I whispered to him. And I knew he couldn't hear me. It was probably better thatway. But I also knew I'd regret it my whole life if I never told him. "I love you, Tyler Stevens."
My eyes prickled with tears. Today was going to be hard. First I had to get down on my hands and knees and beg Elena for money that I feared she wouldn't give me. And then I had to say goodbye to Tyler. Even though my heart was filled with fear at the idea of seeing Elena, I knew the latter would be harder. Saying goodbye to Tyler was going to break me. Especially since I didn't understand why I had to. I didn't understand why his heart wasn't big enough for me, why no one's ever was.
The sun was starting to stream through the windows, casting shadows across Tyler's face. Maybe I was crazy. I didn't really know Tyler. I didn't know his dreams and goals. I didn't even know his middle name. All I knew was his pain. But in my heart, I knew that if this side of him was so wonderful, if he gave me all of him, it would be amazing. I was in love with this pained version of him because it was a reflection of myself. And for a brief moment, we had both been so much better, so much happier.
I studied the scruff along his strong jaw line and the slope of his nose. I tried to memorize every detail. I wanted something to hold on to when I went home. Something good. Something more hopeful than the fear that resided in my own heart. And even as I thought it, I felt myself putting my walls back up. I just hoped it wasn't too late to protect myself from shattering into a million pieces.
Missing Pieces - Chapter 38
Tyler
Thursday
I woke up to the sound of the TV. I slowly opened my eyes. Hailey was sitting on the edge of the bed in a tank top and cutoff jean shorts, completely engrossed in the TV. I glanced at the screen.
The news reporter was standing outside the hospital talking about how tech mogul, James Hunter, had just woken up from his coma. I quickly sat up in bed. "He's awake?"
Hailey turned toward me and smiled. "Yeah."
"Thank God." I sighed. I hadn't realized how worried I had actually been until it was finally over. He was awake. Penny was going to be okay. I didn't have to worry anymore.I don't have to think about her anymore.Maybe I could finally let go. Maybe we really could just be friends. I stared at the back of Hailey's head. The truth was, I didn't have feelings for Penny anymore. Josh was probably right. When I had met her, I needed something good to hold on to. What if I was doing the same thing with Hailey? If I was being honest, I was scared shitless of joining the marines. Maybe I was focusing on her so much because it made me feel better. I needed to stop making the same mistakes. I needed to stick to my gut and focus on the decisions I had already made. In three years, if I really did feel the same way, I'd find her. But I couldn't think about that right now. For once in my life, I had to focus on myself.
"Are you going to call her?" Hailey asked. "To see if she's okay?"
I shook my head. "No. I know she's okay." Now that James was awake, she was good. She'd be okay.
Hailey nodded and switched off the TV. "Could we maybe get going? I brought your stuff in from the car." She gestured to the bags on the floor as she stood up.
I wasn't in a hurry to get going. We hadn't really talked about it, but the original plan was to drop her off in Pasadena. To say goodbye. The thought made me feel slightly nauseous. But it was inevitable. Today had to be goodbye. Maybe she'd still want to see the Pacific Ocean though. I just needed a little more time.
"Yeah." I climbed out of bed and stretched. "Do you know where in Pasadena you're going exactly?"
"I have it all mapped out." She pulled the map out of the back pocket of her jeans. "It takes about three and a half hours to get there from here."
I pulled on a t-shirt. "Do you want breakfast before we get going? I'm starving."
"Sure." She didn't look at me. Her fingers were pulling on the strands of fabric on her jean shorts.
I could tell she was nervous, but I didn't really know what to say. Instead, I wrapped my arms around her. "It's going to be okay."
"You don't know that."
I ran my fingers through her hair. "If worse comes to worst and the business fails, you can start over, Hails. I know it seems bad right now, but it won't break you."
She stepped back from me and pulled her sunglasses down over her eyes. "Yeah, of course. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger right?" She didn't try to hide the sarcasm in her voice. "Let's just get this over with okay?" She pulled her duffel bag over her shoulder and walked out of the room.
***
