Page 53 of An Arranged Marriage with a Cruel Earl
Emmeline nodded. “It is pleasant,” she replied.
“Good.” Andrew paused. They had wandered out of sight of the house, near a bench under the tall, spreading pine tree. He cleared his throat. “Emmeline,” he began slowly. “I wanted to ask you something.” He had thought about the question all night and most of the morning. It was what he had asked Grandma about.
“Yes?” She sounded curious. “What is it?”
“I wanted to ask why you chose what you did,” Andrew said in a rush. “Why did you choose to replace your cousin Amelia? Why did you choose...this? Us?”
She gazed up at him. He thought for a moment that she had been upset by his question.
“I chose this because of how Amelia and I have always helped each other,” she began slowly. “But not just that,” she added swiftly. “It was not just for Amelia.”
“No?” He swallowed hard, heart soaring. Already, that was a different answer to the one he had expected. He had been frightened that it was, in fact, solely about helping her cousin, and that she viewed the whole thing as a great and noble sacrifice—marrying a man who was not part of theTon, who was whispered about and reviled, who had no fortune any longer.
“No,” she said swiftly. “I will tell you why, but, first, allow me to say that I did not know you then.” Her green eyes, holding his gaze, sparkled brightly.
“No.” He frowned, but she smiled.
“I did not know how pleasant you are,” she completed the sentence.
“Oh.” He smiled and a flush crept onto his cheeks.
“I did not know,” she continued. “I chose this—us—because of Mama.”
“Mama?” He frowned, confused. He had barely exchanged a word with her mother—how was it possible she had anything to do with the decision?
“I chose it because Mama could not take me to London for another Season, but it was not just that. She would have—but I could not bear it.”She looked down and her lower lip wobbled as though she was struggling to hold back her tears.
“What is it?” Andrew asked at once.
“It’s theTon. The Season. Everything. It seemed as though everything I did was wrong. Like everything about me was wrong. Like I should just disappear.” She sniffed, tears starting to fall.
“What?” Andrew exclaimed, shocked that she should feel that way. She shook her head, still crying, and he reined in his outrage and surprise.
“It was not as though anyone said it directly, but I was always getting sideways glances and having people whisper about me. I don’t know if you have ever been at a party and seen people whispering and known it was about you?” she asked. He nodded.
“I have,” he said at once. He had hated the Ton for that, too—everyone was always watching, assessing everybody else.
“I have experienced that often. And I never even made friends, not really. And Papa...” she started sobbing and Andrew reached for her hand.
“Shh,” he murmured gently. “It’s all well.” He reached for his handkerchief and passed it to her.
“Thank you,” she said softly. She wiped her eyes and continued. “Papa...he told me that I should never stop being as I am. That I should not allow them to dim my light. I should be myself and continue to shine.”
Andrew took a deep breath. She was crying again, and his heart twisted. He wished for a moment that he could have known Emmeline’s father. He sounded like a good man.
“Good,” he said softly. “He was right.”
She frowned.
“He was right,” Andrew continued, his heart thudding in his chest. “I would not wish you to be any other way. I can only admire you as you are. You are brave and bold and full of life. You are bright and witty and kind. I admire you as you are. You light up the lives of so many. Please never dim your light.”
His voice was rough with feeling, and he swallowed, finding it hard to breathe.
She was staring up at him, her green eyes wide and round with amazement, her mouth half-open in a sweet expression of shocked surprise.
He could not resist anymore. He bent in and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. His arm moved instinctively, drawing her closer for a brief moment.He shut his eyes, savouring the warmth of her presence and the light, floral scent that clung to her.
She gasped and his eyes flew open. A wave of realisation washed over him—what had he been thinking? His longing had nearly driven him to overstep entirely, and shame flooded him at the thought. His arm dropped to his side, and he straightened abruptly, his cheeks burning with embarrassment.
