Page 21 of An Arranged Marriage with a Cruel Earl
She must be terrified of me.
He swallowed hard. The rumours had reached as far as the countryside, it seemed, and there was little he could do. Even denying them would simply add fuel to what she believed already.
He helped himself to a sandwich and noticed that Emmeline was watching him. Her gaze was intense, and he frowned. Was he supposed to do something? He’d been out of society for so long that he had forgotten some of the rules and customs.
“Do you need something?” he asked her briskly.
“No,” she said slowly.
“Oh.”
He looked down at his plate again. He did not know what to say. Neville was chatting away with Lady Bradwood and Lady Radley, and they were even laughing and seemingly enjoying the afternoon. He wished he had the slightest idea what to do or say. He looked up to see Neville watching him.
“Mayhap we should all go for a walk somewhere after tea,” Neville suggested. Andrew frowned.
“In the woods, perhaps,” he suggested, glad for the idea. Nobody could condemn him for the state of the woods. Neville smiled.
“Capital!” he declared.
Andrew looked down at his plate, feeling awkward. Neville was so relaxed in the company of others. He wished he could be like that sometimes, even though sometimes he knew that he’d just feel strange being as sociable as Neville. It was not his character.
The guests seemed to sense that he wished to move because tea gradually found its way to a conclusion. Lord Bradwood pushed back his chair and stood.
“Grand. Shall we head out to the woods?”
Andrew nodded and stood, waiting for the ladies to exit the drawing room first. He watched Emmeline walk to the door. She had such a straightposture, her long, red hair arranged so beautifully in a way that complemented her slim, fine-boned features. He wished she might turn around and look at him, but she walked through the door and into the hallway.
Andrew stood back for Lord Bradwood to go out first. Then he and Neville walked out into the garden.
The path to the woods went across the lawns and Andrew strode to the front to lead the party. Emmeline was talking to Amelia, and he saw her gaze focus on him, but he was too shy to approach them. He walked on and soon found that he and Neville were quite far ahead of their guests.
“Good idea to take them somewhere else,” he commented to Neville.
“Seems to be good,” Neville commented lightly. He frowned at Andrew. “You ought to be talking to her.”
Andrew blinked at him. “That, Neville, is for my personal preference. I don’t recall asking you for etiquette.”
“It’s not etiquette, old chap,” Neville replied.
Andrew tensed. He knew Neville was just being helpful, but he did not appreciate his advice. “I can’t talk to her,” he said firmly. “She probably thinks I’m a murderer. She’s too scared to look at me.”
“You might want to tell her some of that,” Neville said lightly.
Andrew frowned. “I have already said what I think about discussing anything related to Grandfather’s death with her. And even if I had not, I don’t wish her to like me with any greater regard. You know that,” he added quietly. He had already explained that to Neville the previous day.
“You mean, because you think you bring death to those you love?”
“You might try not putting that so plainly,” Andrew murmured. Even hearing the words scared him.
Neville nodded. “Apologies, old chap.”
They walked on silently. Andrew found his thoughts straying to Neville’s comment. Yes, that was the only reason he did not want Emmeline to like him. But it was a sensible reason—he had seen too many times what happened to people who cared for him.
He turned as they walked up the path. He could hear a soft, low voice talking in a murmur and he saw Emmeline, talking with her cousin. A strand of her red hair was loose from its bun, and he fought the desire to go over and tuck it into her hairstyle, letting his fingers wander across the silk-soft skin of her cheek.
His hand made a fist as he warred with his longing. He could not risk having her close.
He glanced further along the path and saw Grandma at the back, walking slowly with Lady Radley and Lady Bradwood. His heart twisted with guilt. Grandma was in no fit state to go for a walk anywhere. She should return to the house.
