Page 28 of The Earl's Demure Spinster
“I did not get to see you as much as I would have liked to at Lady Maria’s garden party. I am glad that we got to play cards though…”
“Oh yes, that was a lot of fun.”
Sylvia’s words trailed off the moment she spotted Lady Victoria talking to Lady Arabella nearby. Of course they were here to, she could never catch a moment of respite, could she? The ton was always going to be around to judge her. They shot looks her way, but definitely did not make any attempt to acknowledge her, their actions a blatant snub. Sylvia stood frozen, the sting of their rejection burning her more acutely than she had anticipated.
Just as the scandal sheets had suggested, she would never fit in.
Lady Harriet blushed, embarrassment ricocheting through her at the actions of her mother, but of course there was nothing that she could do to make it any better.
For some strange reason, the words that her father had spoken to her on his deathbed came flooding to the surface, as if this was the only way she could glean comfort from him, which she so desperately needed in this moment.
“You are so strong.”
“I am proud of you. I hope you have happiness in your life.”
“Do not neglect your happiness in your dedication to other people.”
It was a reminder that her happiness did not depend on the approval of others, especially not those who were intent on tearing her down. She needed to find her own place in the world, to be true to herself. As hard as London was, she could not let it destroy her. That was not what her father wanted for her.
He had wanted her to be strong and powerful, to be herself. So with a sorrowful small voice, she bade farewell to Lady Harriet so as not to make this any more uncomfortable for her friend, and joined her aunt once more, because she needed her aunt’s protection to shield herself away from the evil eyes of the women of the ton. Otherwise, she may withdraw into herself entirely, losing her very essence.
It was not going to be easy for her to keep her head up high, but she would do what she could. She would do her best.
***
As the evening approached, Sylvia knew she needed to prepare for Lady Rebecca’s soirée. Another event of the Season, another moment that her aunt wanted her to shine. Sylvia would have loved to be excited by this, but truth be told, it simply felt like another trial to endure. Another night where she would have all eyes upon her in the worst way possible.
Lady Victoria would be there, of course. As would Lady Arabella, since they were everywhere. After their snub at the modiste’s store, she was not looking forward to coming across them again. Especially since it seemed that their anger towards her was only getting worse…
But she did want to see Lord Wesley, she could not help that.
Thoughts of him brought a mix of sadness and warmth, a bitter sweet reminder of their separate worlds. His sister was a true breath of fresh air, and one of the sweetest people Sylvia had ever met. But she could not enjoy her friendship with Lady Harriet or Lord Wesley because of their mother.
She had made it very clear that she was never going to accept Sylvia, so perhaps it would have been best for her to keep her distance.
Maybe she needed to keep away from everyone.
Sure, she would not make her aunt proud if she did not socialize and see if there was a gentleman there that she could make a connection with, but it would be a lot simpler for her…
There was a knock on her door, and Aunt Grace entered before Sylvia could really gather herself up once more. “You look lovely, Sylvia. Perfect for this evening. That dress is impressive.”
Sylvia smiled faintly. “Thank you, Aunt Grace. I sincerely hope this evening unfolds favorably.”
Aunt Grace stepped closer, her eyes filled with understanding. “Remember, Sylvia, you are stronger than you realise. Do not let today’s events overshadow your spirit. You have a kind heart, and that will always shine through. I have faith in you, everything will go well as long as you remember to be yourself.”
Sylvia nodded, feeling a surge of gratitude for her aunt’s unwavering support. Even if she was not sure that being herself was helping at all. “Thank you. I will try and recall that tonight.”
“You are going to have a lovely time. Lady Rebecca is a wonderful host. Her husband, Lord Thomas, is a nice gentleman as well.”
Sylvia nodded, willing herself to at least appear strong on the outside, even if she did not feel it internally at all.
