Page 49 of The Duke's Concealed Vow
“Rowan, darling, I love you,” she said. “I wish I had tried harder to show you over these past years. I suppose I went to a rather selfish place of wallowing in my own self-pity, and you deserved better than that. But I do love you. I always have, and I always will. And I will always be here for you, no matter what.”
Rowan smiled, despite the wild storm still raging in his heart. To hear his mother say words he thought he would never hear her say again brought a wave of relief that washed away so many years of doubt and fear. The woman who sat before him was the loving, doting mother he had had since he was a child. And yet he realized that she had been there all along. She had never pushed him away. It was he who pushed her.
“Please, forgive me, Mother,” he said.
The dowager shook her head, giving her son a tender smile.
“You owe me no apologies, sweetheart,” she said. “Serena, on the other hand, is a different matter. I know you meant well by keeping certain things from her. But communication and trust are the most important things in a marriage. Without them, there is no strength in the relationship. It is like trying to build a house out of wet cards. It is quite obvious that you have deep feelings for Serena. I beg of you, Rowan, fight for your relationship. You will regret it for the rest of your days if you do not.”
Rowan looked at his mother. The love and encouragement in her eyes sparked new determination within him. He realized that he could not let his past mistakes and secrets define his future with Serena. He knew that he had to find a way to convey the depth of his love for her. He had to make her understand that his feelings went beyond the vow he made to her mother.
He leapt from his seat, running around the desk, and embracing his mother.
“Thank you, Mother,” he said, relishing the feel of her arms around her.
The dowager patted her son lovingly on the back, holding him tightly for a moment before letting him go.
“Go on, my darling,” she said, stroking his cheek once more. “Bring your wife home.”
***
“Serena,” Rowan called as he stepped out the back door of Yardley Estate a couple hours later. He had washed himself, having Adrian shave and dress him as quickly as he could manage. Then, he hopped into his family’s carriage and gone directly to Serena’s father’s townhouse. He’d had to do a considerable amount of coaxing to convince the earl to allow him inside. And now that he was so close to Serena, he hoped it was all worth it.
He found her sitting on a bench in front of a small pond. Her face was in her hands and though she was silent, he could see her shoulders shaking. He approached quietly, stopping just paces from her, knowing she likely was not ready for him to touch her, but hopeful that she would at least listen.
“Serena,” he repeated, his heart breaking when she lifted her head. Her once sparkling blue eyes were now dull and spiritless, rimmed with bright red and puffy from days of crying. When she saw him, she recoiled, as though seeing a monster that had cometo tear her apart.
“I do not wish to see you, Rowan,” she said, covering her face once more. “Please, just leave.”
Rowan shook his head, even though she was not looking at him.
“Not until I tell you the rest of the truth,” he said.
At this, Serena rose slowly, looking both horrified and disgusted. The expression nearly tore his soul in half, but he fought to hold his ground.
“The rest?” she asked, choking back a sob. “What more could there possibly be?”
Rowan took the sting he knew he deserved without flinching, although in truth, it shattered his heart to see the very things in her eyes that he had feared. He held his head high, even as he grimaced against the ache at seeing his wife so hurt, and by his own doing.
“You need to know that while my initial decision to marry you was due to the vow I made, the love that I feel for you now is genuine and true,” he said. “I could never have known that I would love you the way that I do. But I am glad that I got the opportunity to fall in love with you. I am in love with you, Serena Davenport. And I am here before you now to beg you to give me a chance to prove myself. I want to build a marriage based on trust, respect and sincere affection. My new vow is this: I will be the husband you deserve and work tirelessly to earn your forgiveness and trust. I know that will not be easy. But you are worth every minute, everything I must do to keep you.”
Serena’s eyes widened, and her lips parted. He anxiously awaited her response, wishing desperately he could read her eyes. He had laid his heart on the line, and now the future of their relationship hung between them. Rowan truly did wish for her forgiveness. But he also knew that he needed to be prepared for rejection. Whatever decision Serena made, he would honor.But it might be with a broken heart for the rest of his days.
