Page 46 of The Duke's Concealed Vow
Chapter Twenty-two
“Serena, darling, where on earth do you keep drifting off to?” Olivia was asking Serena as she stared at the doorway through which Rowan had escaped just a moment before.
The ball had barely just begun, but Rowan had already slipped out of the ballroom. She frowned, wondering why he would abruptly disappear on such an important occasion. Some of the guests had asked after Rowan once their dance concluded. She had given them polite excuses about mingling with guests on the other side of the room. Now, she wondered if he had left the party for good.
“Forgive me, Liv,” she said. “I saw Rowan leave. I cannot understand why he would do such a thing. I am concerned.”
Olivia’s eyes widened, and her eyes followed Serena’s gaze to the terrace that led out to the manor grounds.
“You should go after him,” she said.
Serena furrowed her brow.
“It is bad form for one to abandon a party that she is hosting,” she said, even though she cared more about Rowan than about any ball.
Olivia put her hands on Serena’s shoulders.
“You are a duchess now,” she said. “You can decide what is bad form in your own home and what is not.” Olivia gave her a conspiratorial wink and smiled softly. “Besides, I shall be happy to tell everyone that you had a stitch slip in your skirts and that you shall return once you have repaired it.”
Serena gave her friend a grateful smile.
“Thank you, Liv,” she said, quickly embracing her. “I shall return as quickly as I can.”
Olivia nodded, ushering her toward the terrace door. Serenasneaked out of it as quickly and quietly as she could, hoping that she didn’t draw the attention of some spying gossip. Once outside, she stepped out into the shadows, heading for the entrance to the rose gardens. She walked quietly, listening for footsteps or voices, or any indication that she wasn’t alone in the garden. However, nothing greeted her but the song of the crickets and an owl hooting softly in the distance.
She headed deeper into the gardens, stopping every few steps to listen in vain for a sound. It was only by chance that she found her husband, standing alone in front of a stone fountain, staring up at it as though lost and seeking its guidance. She hesitated, uncertain whether she should encroach on his solitude. But when he put his head in his hands and shook it, she took the chance and stepped out from the shadows of a hedge and into the brilliant moonlight.
She walked toward her husband, reaching to him, and placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. The intensity and anguish behind his stare took her breath, and she looked up at him, growing more concerned with each passing moment.
“Rowan, are you all right?” she asked softly.
Her husband looked down at her, and though his face was away from the shimmering moonbeam and cast in shadow, she thought for a moment that she saw tears in his eyes.
“No,” he whispered. “I am afraid that I am not.”
Serena’s heart ached. She took another step to allow her to put her other hand on his arm.
“Please, Rowan,” she said. “I know there is something you still keep from me. I know you have been through terrible things. But I beg of you to confide in me. Share the burdens you carry. I want nothing more than to help you. But I cannot if I do not know what troubles you.”
Rowan looked at her, and she could all but read his thoughts. The decision he was making was apparent in his eyes,and she held her breath. She could find no more words, so she simply offered her husband the most reassuring smile she could. After the longest pause she had ever experienced, Rowan took a deep breath and nodded.
“You are correct,” he said. “There are things I have thus far kept from you. But I cannot bear the weight any longer.”
Serena’s heart thumped, despite the heaviness of the ache for his. She smiled at him, both relieved and apprehensive. He was finally going to tell her the truth she had been begging to know.
“I am here for you, Rowan,” she said. “I am willing to hear anything you have to say.”
Rowan nodded, but he looked away from her. The shame on his face told her how he was feeling, which added to her worry. But she stood silently, waiting for her husband to continue.
“The day of the boating accident which claimed my father’s life, we had an argument,” he said. “A rather nasty one, at that. He was pressuring me to prepare to take a wife so that I could produce an heir. That was the one duty which I was not willing to fulfill right then. I was convinced that I would have plenty of time before Father passed, and I was not ready to settle down just then.”
Serena nodded slowly. More of the story he had told her previously was beginning to make sense. But what did that have to do with him marrying her?
“I understand,” she said. “Please, continue.”
Rowan nodded, still not looking at her.
“That is why I felt so guilty after his death,” he said. “I felt as though his accident were my fault, that if I had not fought with him, he would never have been on the water when that storm hit, and he might still be alive.”
