Page 51 of A Duchess for the Mysterious Duke
“Believe myself to be? Marina, perhaps you’re mistaken. Iknowthat I have no real claim to my title. Or my land. Or my fortune. The very things which have made you so happy since we were wed. When would you have me take those things from you?”
Marina recoiled from his words as if she had been struck. “Yourwealthhas nothing to do with my happiness. Recall, if you can, my demeanor when we first wed. Were you not wealthy then? Was I not unhappy then? Perhaps you did not notice while you were going to such lengths to make yourself scarce. I gave you every reason to trust me with your secret, Phillip.”
“If you are not afraid of living like a common beggar, then what could have angered you enough to flee from our home?” Phillip was growing agitated in his own right. Marina was behaving impossibly; she either was or was not upset about finding outthat their marriage had not been as prosperous as she had once thought. “Is it that I am a sham? If so, Marina, you must lower your expectations. I will do whatever it takes to maintain the lifestyle we lead now. Men lie to protect their families, and I am no exception.”
Marina scoffed, staring at him incredulously for a long moment before she finally retrieved the journal from her waistband, laying it next to her husband so that he might pick it up and examine it. “Youarethe duke by birthright, Your Grace.”
“What could you mean? What is this?” Phillip handled the journal carefully, a vague memory of having seen it once before floating through his mind.
“It is your mother’s journal. I discovered it in my room before I left, and I spent the night reading it.” Her expression softened and she met Phillip’s bewildered gaze at last. “You were his real son, Phillip.”
“That cannot be, Marina. He told me himself before I left—he had such conviction. There has never been any proof to contradict him.”
“Your father was an alcoholic who suffered from a sharp temper and delusions of strife. It is all written there in the journal.” Phillip stared at the small book, struck by a torrent of complex emotions. “Your mother could not have had an affair—she was confined to her home by his own instruction. The ton was well aware of her habits. She even saved clippings of the scandalsheets which mentioned her reclusive ways and attempted to show them to your father as proof that you were his blood.”
Marina locked eyes with Phillip, willing him to understand. To believe her. She watched the truth which had driven his actions over the last ten years unravel behind his eyes as the truth of what she told him slowly sank into his consciousness. When he seemed that he had lost himself in his thoughts entirely, she reached out and took both of his hands into hers, coaxing him out of his reverie to meet her gaze.
“Your mother loved you dearly, Phillip. You meant the world to her, and she loved your father just as much. It broke her heart that they became separated by this tragic lie. She would have wanted you to know the truth.”
Phillip gripped Marina’s hands tightly, as if holding onto her to keep himself rooted in this reality.
“I am the Duke,” he repeated. “I am rightfully the Duke of Peterborough.”
Marina nodded slowly. “Yes, Your Grace. There is no secret for you to hide—your parentage is undeniable.”
Phillip registered the change in her voice and demeanor, her sudden return to cold anger bringing him back to the more important conversation at hand.
“You are still cross with me.”
“That seems obvious, Your Grace.”
“What is it, then? I beg of you.”
“I cannot imagine living happily in a marriage in which you think so little of me that you feel you must lie to keep me placated. Our home cannot stand withouttwopillars. You can try all you want to hold it aloft on fortitude alone. It will crumble eventually. And I cannot carry that which I cannot see.”
Phillip was stunned. He had heard Marina when she asked him to be more forthcoming in their marriage, but he was realizing as she spoke that he had not truly listened to her. He had not given her the credit that she deserved, and it was with great pain that he realized why.
The Duke had been so preoccupied with convincing himself that he did not, could not,wouldnot love Marina, that he neglected to see the radiant truth of her. He watched an expression of pain cross her face momentarily, and though she hid it well, he knew that there was still more they needed to discuss.
“I should have shared my burdens with you,” he agreed gently, shifting his body so that he was fully facing her. “I wished so much to solve my own conflicts that I became short-sighted and left you vulnerable. It was my hope—no, my quest—to protect and provide for you within the confines of our marriage. I thought that it would be able to shelter you, but I was wrong, Marina.” Phillip could see something shift behind her eyes, but she was still guarding herself. He did not understand what else there could be until she spoke again.
“What is it?” he coaxed. “What else did my uncle say? I know that there is more troubling you.”
Marina’s eyes flickered away from him. “That you married me for my dowry. I have already asked Papa about this.”
“I turned down your dowry, Marina. I thought?—”
“—that my sisters could use it, I know. You only took a symbolic amount.” She gracefully hid her smile behind her hand. “He did not seem to know whether he should be angered or impressed. Your uncle also said that you married me to get revenge on your father, but Papa was able to clear that up, as well. You really did do your best to tie up loose ends when you first came to him about the engagement.”
Phillip nodded, reaching out now to take Marina’s hands in his. She seemed startled by the display of affection but did not move away from him. “I did, Marina. I know that my intentions do not erase the mistakes I have made. Please. Understand that I strive to be nothing like my own father. He was controlling and cruel, and he often made his problems mine and my mother’s. I wanted…I wanted to provide an easy life for you. Perhaps my haste made it appear that I also chose you as my bride recklessly. That is not the case. If I had been unable to resolve the matters between our families or if I were not financially ready to care for my family, I would not have returned to society at all. I would never have taken a bride, Marina. I saw an opportunity for our marriage to be mutually beneficial. For me to help you take care of your siblings and for you to help me conceal the truth though I now know that that was not necessary.”
Marina turned her hands over so that she could retrieve them from Phillip’s grip and turned her face from him. “You were dishonest, instead. You went into the marriage knowing what I wanted and what was important to me, but you did not allow me the same opportunity to meet you in the middle.”
“I did not. I understand, now. I made a poor choice as your husband, Marina. Please. Can’t you find it in your heart to forgive me?”
“I could have forgiven your lack of title or even your lack of fortune, Phillip. These are things that have never mattered to me at all. You should know that already. I would have been content caring for my siblings as their spinster sister.”
“But? What is there that cannot be forgiven? Tell me, Marina. Please give me the chance to correct whatever it is that still burdens you.”
