Page 32 of A Duchess for the Mysterious Duke
“The activity is not the part that matters,” he insisted.
Marina felt a lump form in her throat at his words. She was frustrated with him and embarrassed over how she had acted before. Why must things between them be so difficult? The way he was looking at her, as if she were the only woman who existed in the world, did not feel practiced or forced. Then why, she wondered, did he insist he felt otherwise?
“Then, shall we take the carriage?”
“Wherever to?”
“Around. To look at the stars.”
Phillip seemed to consider this for a moment, but in the end, that was what they did. The Duke found that he was fond of this suggestion. As the carriage rolled on, he could watch Marina, her face bathed in moonlight, smile up at the stars and indulge in her all he wanted. They were close enough to one another that they could partake in conversation if they wanted, but not so close that he felt he might lose control.
“Marina?”
“Yes, Your Grace?”
“I wanted to inquire about something.”
Her bright eyes swiveled toward him, curious but not apprehensive. “What is it?”
“Earlier today—what was it that had you so distraught? And do not think of lying to me or avoiding an answer. I know what I saw on your face and you yourself have said?—”
“Your Grace…”
“Marina?”
She reached out and lightly placed a hand over his. It was only then that Phillip realized his leg had been shaking while he spoke, a nervous tic. He stilled himself and met her gaze.
“I will tell you. There is no need to chastise me. I realize that I was hesitant to speak on it before, but I merely needed some time to collect my thoughts. This was precisely why I suggested we take the carriage, so we could have a peaceful place to talk.”
“I see.”
“I did not realize, myself, at first, why the incident with the horse and his rider gave me such a fright,” she admitted. “It was all handled without incident and quite quickly, so perhaps that was why it took me a moment to realize.”
“What? To realize what?”
“My mother passed away in a riding accident.”
“Marina…I did not know. Had I known, I?—”
“What? You would have gone back in time and stopped the horse from appearing before us?” She smiled gently and took the hand that hers still covered and squeezed. “There is no way for me to avoid the animals forever.”
“I suppose you’re right, but still. I feel that there was more I could have done. Comforted you, perhaps.” Then, his eyes grew wide as he looked at her. “We shall buy a second carriage immediately.”
“Phillip, whatever for?”
“The other night. You took your horse all the way to Miss Harrington’s home because I had the carriage. There should be no reason for you to do this ever again. I shall purchase one in the morning. You can come with me, if you like, and choose the?—”
“Phillip!” Her voice stilled his words but not his mind. Phillip could not believe that he had nearly made a fuss over something that must have truly terrified Marina. She was right, perhaps marriage took some getting used to, but he was not making enough of an effort. How had he never asked how her mother had passed? He had heard her, once, call it an accident. And it had never occurred to him to inquire further.
How selfish.
“Marina, you will not convince me that a second carriage is not a necessity. We shall have one, or my heart will never be at ease.”
“I quite like riding,” she answered him, her eyebrow raised inquisitively. “Will you ban me from it as well?”
“No, of course not. But if you should ride, do so for leisure. On our property. Preferably with me though I won’t hold you to it strictly.”
Now that his panic had subsided, Phillip felt something else hanging above their heads: a deep sadness. He knew his own melancholy over his mother’s passing quite intimately, but he knew very little of Marina’s. His mother had passed when he was a child but hers much more recently, he thought. He detested that he had not thought until now that she was likely still dealing with her grief. She may not wear mourning blacks, but he knew firsthand that the loss of a beloved parent was no light burden and took much more than the standard grieving period to truly move on from.
