Page 43 of The Secret Life of the Elusive Governess
“Good day, Miss Robins,” the Duke said as he passed her by in the corridor. Caroline felt another section of her fantasy crumble and break apart from the slowly but steadily disintegrating whole.
If she had been barely cordial with him before, the Duke was multiplying her formality to the point it felt like a cavern was between them. His demeanor towards her had been nothing but circumspect, overly formal, and ultimately heart-breaking. Caroline soon started to wonder if that magical night in the library had been nothing but a dream.
She had practiced saying his name to the point she had gotten familiar with it, but it seemed as though there would be no opportunity to use it.
“Good day, Your Grace,” she managed to speak even though it pained her.
Walking away, Caroline was starting to wonder if she had fooled herself. Had she projected her unwanted feelings upon a married man and seen what she had wanted to see? Care, attention, and love? Perhaps, it was time to remember who and what she was—a governess that had no business with these foolish imaginations.
She was destined to live alone and seeing the reconnection of the Duke and his wife, her fantasy was breaking along the edges. Caroline hoped that when the reality of her situation caught up with her that she could live with the damage. And sooner or later, if she repeated it enough, her heart might start to believe it, too.
Chapter 17
Burke House, the Earl of Dalton’s Residence
It was rare for Moses to participate in a gentleman’s meet but this night he felt a necessity to go. The Earl of Dalton, Edward Fawcett, was a friend of his from school days and a noted stud breeder. They had kept touch with each other over the years, but the correspondence had fallen to one or two letters a year since the Earl had married and had embarked on a series of travels with his wife, Lady Dalton. When the sudden invite to Edward’s country lodge for a gentleman’s meet had come, Moses had grabbed at it with eager hands.
The parlor of the Earl’s house, an elegant and comfortable space of dark woods and elegant jewel tones had descended into the likeness of a gaming hell with multiple card tables and draughtboards. Classical strains of music were in the air, and the warm smell of whiskey and cigar smoke drifted outside by way of multiple windows.
Moses had just won his last game of Hazard and was about to refill his glass with Scotch whisky when Dalton did it for him. The kind act was then chased by a query, “Are you ready to tell me what is tying you up in knots, Barley?”
It did not surprise the Duke to know that his long-time friend could see right through his veneer. There was no hesitation in his reply as Moses' chest had been burning with the issue.
“I doubt you would understand, seeing as you are so happily married.”
Dalton topped the glass off and replaced the bottle. “Try me.”
The Duke took his glass and swallowed the contents in one rather vulgar gulp. “I am in love with my children’s governess.”
The bottle of scotch shattered on the floor with a splintering crash.
The Earl’s face was white but then he cleared his throat and his voice was deceptively calm, “Meet me on the terrace while I get someone to clean this up.”
With his chest burning for another reason, Moses stood and went to the open doorway that led to the terrace. The cool air buffered his face as he traced the rim of the gibbous moon. It was coming up to midnight at the Earl’s country lodge that sat on over fifty acres of land, and he could smell a hint of rain in the air.
Two days ago, when he had gotten the invitation, Moses had instantly made his decision to attend. His friend had just gotten back from Italy and besides a need to catch up, Moses was getting tired of his forced formality in his house. He hated every time he had to speak too formally with Miss Robins and despised himself, even more, when he saw the pain and confusion in her eyes.
“So, what is this about being in love with the governess?” Lord Dalton spoke as he closed the door behind him.
“Just that,” Moses replied bluntly, “I have found myself struck by Cupid’s mischievous arrow. Miss Robins is a beautiful woman, who possess an intelligent mind and a compassionate soul.”
“If you are already making sonnets about this woman, I can see why you think you are in love. But might I remind you, in case you might have forgotten, you are a married man, Moses.” Dalton replied.
Moses rolled his eyes and elbowed Dalton in his side, “That was hardly a sonnet and no, I have not forgotten about my marriage. It looms before me every day, which is why I find myself out here in this labyrinthine of woodland, foolishly asking a happily married man for advice.”
“This arrangement of yours with the Duchess is one of convenience, is it not?”
“Yes,” Moses replied succinctly.
Dalton was quiet for a moment, “And you have two children together.”
“Again, yes.”
“And you have never broken your pledge to be faithful to your wife?” The Earl inquired.
“You know me better than that,” Moses huffed, “Come on man, help me. Give me something concrete that I can stand upon. I want to love her but I cannot, and my guilt hounds me day and night.”
“Tell me what you admire about this governess,” Dalton replied. “Maybe then I can deduce if it is really love or just infatuation.”
