Page 39 of The Secret Life of the Elusive Governess
I cannot stay…but the children, what about them?
“Miss Robins?”
Caroline’s head snapped up just as a tremble of fear took her. That voice was the Duke’s. Was he there to send her away? Was he the one to seal her fate? Her eyes closed in remorse.
This is it, I am going to be sent away in disgrace.
“Yes, Your Grace, it is I,” Caroline replied mournfully while twisting the soiled handkerchief with trembling fingers, “I am sorry, I will leave and get my things for my departure.”
“Excuse me?” the Duke snapped, “What departure? What the deuce is happening?”
Caroline froze when the aristocrat sat beside her and pinned her with mystified eyes. Her eyes darted to the smudged cloth in her hands. “Your Grace, in the past week I have been in Her Grace’s service with the absence of Miss Orville but this day…Her Grace accused me of pilfering her ruby brooch and has given me until this night to admit to my actions and voluntarily leave or she’ll have the butler forcefully put me out.”
* * *
Moses felt like someone had just put a lead ball between his eyes. “Her Grace accused me of pilfering her ruby brooch and has given me until this night to admit to my actions and voluntarily leave or she’ll have the butler forcefully put me out.”
What the bloody hell was wrong with his wife? Had her jealously gotten so out of hand that she was falsely accusing this woman of a crime? There was no doubt in Moses’ mind that Caroline had never touched his wife’s jewels.
“Miss Robins, I swear on my life, you will not step a foot out of this house this night,” Moses declared staunchly.
She hiccupped, “I have done nothing wrong, Your Grace, why is she doing this to me?”
“I cannot tell you, Miss Robins.” Moses sighed as his mind travelled back in time to twelve years before. Plucking out the handkerchief in his lapel, Moses pressed a corner to her eye and dabbed softly. It pained him to see her body quaking with hurt and agony and he had to physically stop himself from taking her into his arms.
“It will be all right, Miss Robins,” Moses consoled, “I promise you.”
Her hand lifted to curl around his and she softly pushed his hand away but did not let go of it.
With her head down she spoke, “Thank you for carrying me back to my room that night. Mrs. Willow told me about it.”
Looking at the tortured soul, the Duke struggled with the emotions running through him. His chest felt burdened with words he had not said or even mentally admitted to himself.
I know how I feel but how on Earth can we be together? This is an impossibility, I am a married man!
“Miss Robins, may I confide in you?” Moses asked with his eyes closed.
Her answer was hesitant, “I will keep your confidence, Your Grace.”
Moses felt a surge of inordinate tiredness take him as he pressed the handkerchief into her hand. “Our wedding day was a rainy one, bridging on a tempest. In hindsight, I should have known it was an omen of our marriage. La-Her Grace wore a dress made from the most delicate cloth and a veil of hand-tooled lace. With her golden hair and elfin features, I thought she was an angel, but time has proven me wrong.”
He absently noted the thinning of the governess’ lips, but he could only concentrate on one thing at a time, and that was lamenting how foolish and naïve his younger self was.
“I had thought marriage was a good thing. After observing my parents’ blissful union, I had yearned for the same. A month of hasty courtship, a transfer of a dowry, and a Wednesday trip to the church and that was it.”
Moses sighed and leaned back as regrets ripped through him. “Do you think I was foolish, Miss Robins? I had barely known the girl but I was enraptured by her beauty and grace. I knew it was a marriage of convenience, but I had hoped—foolishly, I see, now that I am on the other side—a peaceful partnership, not expecting all this hardship that would come after.”
His question had not been truly directed at the woman sitting across from the chessboard, but he had spoken it anyway. “What should he do? 'Twas equal shame to Jove, or to relinquish, or betray his love.Thus fear, and love, by turns, his heart assail'd, and stronger love had sure, at length, prevail'd.”
“Your Grace,” Caroline’s reply was soft after his quoted lamentation. Moses had no doubt that she had understood every word he had spoken and the underlying meaning of them. The words, translated into modern tongue, asked if his misery would prod him to give Lavinia up or by his inherent honor, refrain from doing so. The term love was ignored as the phrase had a deeper meaning.
“I cannot conjure a situation in which you were foolish. Young, loyal to your family and duty does not mean foolish. Every decision I have seen you make, about your household, your children, and the people who look to you for their livelihood are all made in sound wisdom,” she finished.
Moses lifted his head tried to meet her eyes. He felt an overflow of admiration, affection, and a pure need to wipe away her sorrow and see her smile.
“Moses… call me Moses.”
By God, what am I doing?
