Page 26 of Emerald Moon
Jo glared at her across the table.
“She’d be a good one to have in your corner.She looks intimidating, even though she really isn’t.She might just shut your family up before they can even say anything.”
“Exactly.But here’s the thing — I have to work up the nerve to ask her.”
Krista shrugged.“She’s easy to talk to.Just explain the situation and ask.It’s simple enough.And hey, at least all this is happening after the full moon.Maybe you’ll feel fresh after getting some of this ick out of your system with a good pack run.”
“I hope so.It’s my little sister’s wedding!I am looking forward to it — parts of it.I’m really happy for her, too.I wish I could just be excited and not have all this other baggage and the fear that I might wolf out because of my mom.”
“I know.It’s tough.Families can be great, especially the ones you find, and they can be the worst, like both of ours.”Krista smiled knowingly.She’d also gotten away from a tough family situation when she came to Hickorywood.“Enjoy what you can, make it through the rest, and then you’ll be back here with us.”
“Where I’m supposed to be.”
Krista smiled, her eyes wrinkling in the corners.“Right where you should be.”
By the time they said goodbye, Jo felt better except for the dull ache in their bones.It had been a good idea to get out of their routine of loafing around the pack house and sleeping whenever they could to see a friend.
The good feelings lasted the entire walk home, but the moment Jo closed the door to their bedroom and they were alone, depression crept back in with all its doubts.They had talked about themselves too much with Krista.They had been too negative.No wonder no one wanted to be around them.All they did was ask too much of people.
They couldn’t ask Cass to join them for the wedding — or Wil or Krista, for that matter.They couldn’t be a burden any more than they already were.People were so understanding of Jo and their brain, but wasn’t that the problem?Krista didn’t need this kind of coddling.Wil certainly didn’t.Everyone had already done so much for them.Jo couldn’t ask for more.
They barely knew Cass.It was too soon in their friendship.They couldn’t reveal what a helpless baby they were.
No, they’d go to the wedding alone.This wasn’t fanfiction or a great romance read Krista and Jo shared.This was real life — Jo’s life.Fake dating only sounded fun.In reality, it was asking too much of the other person.
Jo flopped down on the bed and, pulling the sheet over their head, wallowed in their bad feelings until they fell asleep.
eight
Afteranotherdayspentin bed or asleep on the couch, Jo got fed up with their own brain and, feeling the fog beginning to lift, forced themselves to climb the rest of the way out.They painted with Wil, went to work, texted Krista, sent more songs to Cass, and spent as much time with the pack as possible.It was exhausting, but worth it.The sludge that held them back got lighter and Jo could nearly see the end of the tunnel.
By the time it cleared, the episode had been more tiring than some others, but it hadn’t lasted long, so Jo counted their blessings — and immediately made plans to celebrate being back to themselves.
Which is how, early in the morning, Jo found themselves standing outside the Pitch Mountain Pack house with Wil, both of them dressed for a walk in the woods.
Wil knew what she was about and had refused a proper hike.Instead, she’d steered Jo towards a path they’d walked before that was long, but a lot less strenuous, and Jo had agreed because they could care less what they did.They just wanted to be outside with their friends.
A familiar hatchback started up the dirt driveway and Jo waved at Cass and Krista as they got closer.They bounced down the front steps when the car pulled up.
“Good morning!”Jo yelled, still waving as Cass rolled down the driver’s side window.
Krista leaned across Cass’ lap to wave from the passenger side.Her rainbow hair was freshly dyed and it matched her bubbly greeting, “Morning, morning!”
Cass and Wil’s greetings were not as enthusiastic, but no less friendly, reminding Jo that they’d known each other from before, just like how Jo should have remembered Cass, but didn’t.They shook the thought from their head as they climbed into the backseat.They knew Cass now.That was what mattered.
Cass grinned at Jo.“I brought binoculars.There’s a pair for you, too.Just in case.”
“Perfect.You know, I downloaded that app you told me about — the one where you can log the birds you see.I’ve only added, like, four since I last saw you, and I’m only thirty percent sure I got them right, but it’s something,” Jo said as they got in the backseat with Wil.
“It’s definitely more than something.It’s wonderful.”Cass had a pleased smile on her face as she turned to face the steering wheel after making sure everyone was safely buckled.
As they drove towards the trailhead, Krista and Jo caught each other up on what they’d been reading lately, as though they hadn’t been texting reactions to one another throughout the week, excitedly interrupting each other and talking over each other in a way that Jo knew would bother other people, but for them, it worked.
When they’d gotten it all out of their systems, Krista asked Wil about her art and any upcoming shows.Cass perked up at Wil’s answer about another show coming up the following month.
“So you’re the pack’s Gamma, help run the bakery, and you’re a successful artist?That’s impressive,” Cass commented.“How do you find the time?”
Wil grinned.“I hear from Jo that you work at the butcher shop and a flower shop, in addition to making time to go birding and go back to graduate school.How do you find the time?”
