Page 22 of Emerald Moon
“Just grabbing a pie.Emmaline’s orders,” they said to Lock as they passed by.
He glanced their way in between customers.“Go for the turkey bacon or the cheddar ones.They’re the closest to being too stale to sell, but those two batches came out awesome this afternoon, so you should totally grab one.”
“Thanks!”They mustered all the cheer they could because they were genuinely grateful for everyone’s kindness, it was just hard to show it right now.Grabbing a turkey bacon hand pie, Jo gave Lock a pat on the back and returned to the peace of the kitchen.
They spent their shift trying as hard as they could to focus.When Emmaline tried to chat, they did their best to sound like a regular person, but it was too hard to do both at the same time.They got a lot less done than usual by the time Billie arrived, and guilt gnawed at their stomach.They were slowing everyone else down.
There was no way they were going to bake macarons tonight, so they hung their apron and stepped out into the dark, hoping to spot Dolly.The food they’d set out was gone, as was a good bit of the water, but there was no sign of the cat anywhere.
Jo sat in the grass and scrolled on their phone, waiting to catch sight of her.The longer they waited, the more awful they felt.It was silly, but they needed to pet that cat.Dolly had apparently become an emotional support cat without either of them knowing it.They were just about to leave when Jo felt a little head brush against the back of their arm.
“Oh thank goodness.There you are.You have no idea how much I needed to see you today.”Jo patted her fluffy head and scratched behind her ears as Dolly’s tail perked up.Getting out some treats and toys, they told the white cat all about the past few days — how they felt awful, but the pack was full of kind people, and they’d been talking to a nice new friend named Cass.
“You’d like her.She’s very calm and level-headed.Not like me.But I guess she gets nervous like me, so maybe we’re not too different.I’m just, like, wild and trying to hide it when I’m nervous but she’s all chill and honest about it.”
Dolly crawled into their lap.Though it was still far too humid and hot outside to have a cat in their lap, even with the sun setting hours ago, Jo was more than happy to let her stay as long as she wanted to be there.
“You know what?I’m going to do it,” they said, petting her from her head down to her tail.“I’m going to ask Alpha Parisa if you can come live with us.I want you to have a home.With me.”
Jo was grateful for the quiet calm in their bedroom with Wil.They chatted as Wil worked on a new painting and Jo dozed on their bed after giving up on trying to read.
“You seemed to have made it through the day okay,” Wil said, putting a brush to her canvas, “but I know better than to trust how things seem.How are you really doing?”
They flopped an arm over the side of the bed and sighed.“I feel like a steamroller ran me over, to be honest.Everything hurts, like, just a little, in a way where I’m like ‘is it all in my head or does stuff actually hurt?’Trying to think right now is just not happening.I want to read, but I can’t focus.And I feel super guilty about not pulling my weight in the pack today.”They glanced over at Wil.“That about sums it up.”
She kept working on her painting.“If there’s one thing you don’t give yourself credit for, it’s how much you go through your day like you feel fine when you actually feel awful.Which —“ She set down her brush and looked over at Jo.“I actually don’t know if I should encourage that or not.Seems to me like if you’re feeling bad, you could give yourself some grace.”
“But I feel bad every other week or so.What am I going to do?Make everyone pick up my slack all the time?”
Wil shrugged.“Name one person in this pack who would mind helping you out.”
“Billie.Harry.”Jo puffed out a quiet laugh.“But no, you’re right.They’d put up a fuss, but they wouldn’t actually mind.Look, I know all that is rationally true, but it doesn’t change how I feel about everything.”
When they joined the pack, Jo ended up with the type of family they’d always wished for, but it didn’t mean they didn’t have twenty-nine years of experience prior to joining that had taught them they were responsible for themselves and couldn’t lean on anyone.June had been there, to some degree, but as the older sibling, Jo had felt like they couldn’t burden June with what was bothering them, so they just kept going like everything was fine.
“I get it,” she said.“You know how bad I am at asking for help, myself.I just know good advice when I hear it, even if I don’t follow it.”
“Mood,” Jo agreed.“It’s so much easier to tell a friend to take care of themselves and do what they need to do, or not do something for a while, but doing it for yourself?Forget it.”
Their phone buzzed on the bed and Jo picked it up.It was Krista.
I miss you!Wanna go get coffee tomorrow before work?
It was tempting, but Jo barely had the energy to make it through work and their pack chores, let alone adding an outing with a friend.On the other hand, sometimes seeing a friend made the fog and the gloom a little more bearable.
Rain check?Not feeling the best right now
Jo sent the message and tossed the phone back on the bed.
As Wil got back to her painting, Jo figured the one thing they could do was add songs to their shared playlist with Cass — something besides Dolly.Maybe it was time to share some emo bands or some metal.
Scrolling through the list, it looked like Cass had added some earlier in the day — a violin concerto titled “Butterfly Lovers” and a bunch of what they recognized to be Motown favorites.From “Baby I Need Your Loving” to “Signed, Sealed, Delivered (I’m Yours)”, the songs slipped in and out of their mind as they read the titles, each one lifting their mood a little.Their eyes landed on the Marvin Gaye classic, “Let’s Get it On,” and they felt a swoop in their stomach that they blamed on the potential embarrassment of belting out the lyrics to this in the car with Cass one day.Nope, that would be a hard skip.Not because it wasn’t a great song, but because that was something you listened to alone, not with a friend in the car, unless Jo wanted to get so red in the face that they ceased to be human.
Jo swapped back over to their own playlists for ideas and began adding some emo favorites, starting with “Welcome to the Black Parade” because they could identify that song from the very first note, so Cass needed to, too.They added several more, then got out their phone to text her.
I added more songs for you
Thanks for the ones you added!
