Page 69 of Emerald Moon
Depressive episodes made Jo want to be alone.It made them think they deserved to be alone.Some of that lingered beyond the episodes, too, but they were trying to learn that wasn’t true.
As Jo sat on the back deck listening to the birds, they had the thought that the person they wanted beside them right now was Cass.
twenty-one
“Goodafternoon,sunshine,”Wil’svoice poked through Jo’s daze of leftover sleep.
They’d managed to fall back asleep for a little while after being awake all morning.Seraphine had offered them another day off, but Jo had declined, saying they wanted to be back in the bakery.That was partially true because they did miss being there, but they also didn’t want to continue to be a burden to the pack.
“Krista sent over a delivery.”
Jo rolled over to find Wil holding out two coffees — one hot, one iced.
“It’s sweet that she thought of me, too,” Wil said, handing over the iced coffee once Jo sat up, swinging their short legs over the side of the bed.
Taking the drink, they added, “I will never understand how you can drink hot coffee in summer.”
“Coffee is meant to be hot.That’s one of my rules.Plus you drink iced coffee in the dead of winter.”Wil shot them a look and sat down on the edge of her bed.“How are you feeling now?I saw your bed was empty earlier.”
“Couldn’t sleep anymore.It was good for me, though.I sat outside for a while.”
Dolly hopped up on the bed next to Jo, bumping her head into their side.Jo scratched her ears before running their hand down the length of her body, enjoying the way Dolly’s hind end went up as they petted her back.
“Thanks for looking out for me again,” Jo added, still looking down at Dolly.
“Any time.It’s what we do.”
“I know, but I feel like everyone has to help me so much more often than anyone else.”
“You know that’s not true.”
“It feels true!”Jo shot Wil a pitiful look.“I know it’s probably not true, but when everyone’s so nice and understanding, it's just — I don’t know — it’s a lot to ask of people.”
“Did you ask anyone for help?”
“No.”
“Then we did it all because we wanted to,” Wil said like it was that simple.“Did anything happen at the wedding to trigger this or is it just chemicals in your brain being messy?”
“Just my brain,” Jo replied.“I felt drained the morning Cass and I drove out there, but I managed to act fine for a few days, so it hit so much harder when it finally took over.”
“So the wedding went well?We haven’t really had a chance to talk about it yet.”
Jo ran through the details of the weekend, jumbled up and out of order, as they remembered what happened.Most of the time was spent sharing about working things out with June, but they also threw in all the positive reactions with family members, and skimmed over the less than positive stares.
“But it was nice no one said anything terrible out loud to our faces.”
“Even your mother?”
Jo made a sour face.“She, of course, had some choice words to say, but I may have shot some right back at her.”
Wil raised an eyebrow and leaned forward, balancing her chin on her fist, her elbow resting on her knee.
“It was short, but it was good.Basically I said I didn’t want to talk to her anymore unless she was going to be pleasant enough to earn being in my life.”
Wil’s smile stretched wider.“Good for you.I know that can’t have been easy.”
“Definitely not.The timing was awful, too.”
