Page 51 of Emerald Moon
Holding onto that thought as they unloaded the car and checked in, Jo braced themselves for all the unknowns they’d have to deal with that weekend.
“Oh and my family doesn’t know I’m nonbinary.They don’t even all know I prefer dating women, so don’t be surprised with all the wrong pronouns,” Jo whispered, spotting a group of relatives in the marbled and museum-like lobby.They could probably dodge that group, but there would be more.
“Doesn’t that bother you?”
Jo shrugged.“It does, but not enough for me to want to rock that boat now.Plus, I know what I’m about.Can’t misgender me when I know myself.And you know me, right?So it’s all okay.”They quickened their pace to scoot past the group in the lobby.“Sorry, I keep dumping more stuff onto you.I know it’s a lot.”
“Every family is a lot.”
“Yeah, but I swear, mine is —”
“Jolene!You’re just as tiny as the last time I saw you.”
Jo froze, shoulders tensing, and turned around.“Hey,” they said slowly, searching for the name of the woman in front of them.It was one of their dad’s sisters.They hadn’t seen that side of the family that often since they lived much farther up north — even less since their dad had passed.
“I last saw you what, fifteen, sixteen years ago?You still always got your nose buried in a book?”
Jo laughed weakly.“Yeah, something like that.”
They finally placed who she was and sprinkled her name into the conversation so they’d win some points.They caught up on where everyone was living now and what Jo was doing for work.
Then came the question they were dreading, “And who’s this with you?”
Jo gripped their suitcase handle, heart hammering in their chest.They pushed the words out, trying to be the badass Wil had reminded them to be.“My girlfriend, Cass.”
This was about as low stakes as it was going to get this weekend — some random aunt they barely knew.
She got quiet and nodded before pulling her lips into a tight line.“That’s nice.Well, I bet you’re looking forward to seeing everyone so I’ll let you go.”
Jo couldn’t remember what they said after that because their heart was threatening to burst out of their chest, but they made it out and started back down the hallway to their rooms.
“That went fine,” Jo said, trying to unclench their body.“Just got to do that about a billion more times.”
Cass was quiet as they rolled their bags down the hallway and Jo tensed again, bracing themselves for her to say that she should just go back home.
“Is it easier or harder with me here?”
“Easier!Way easier!I never would have been able to tell my family anything like that if you weren’t here.”
“But you wouldn't have to tell them if I wasn’t here.”
Jo stopped and Cass spun around to look at them.“I’m thirty years old, Cass.I’ve got to grow a spine at some point, and having you here is helping a ton.I’m glad you’re here.I just keep waiting for you to bolt because this is messy and we’ve kind of only just met.”
“I’m staying.Why would I leave you?”The way Cass said it made it seem like it was ridiculous to think she would ever leave.
It made Jo feel like the day, like this weekend was possible to survive — maybe even find some things to enjoy.“Let’s get settled in our rooms and I’ll come get you in a little bit, okay?We’re going to kick this wedding’s ass!”
Cass gave them a puzzled look.
“Everything is going to be just fine.Maybe even great.”
Jo waited for their mother to burst in or for their sister to knock on the door, but no one came, and Jo was left to sit in relative peace for close to an hour.They read on their phone.They dozed.They decompressed from the day so far.Actually, the afternoon had been great.It was just that the stress Jo had carried with them all this week and this morning called for some major decompressing.
Being bipolar, though, Jo knew that what went up, must come down.They went to get Cass and tried to collect in their mind all the good things that had happened on the drive up.The more they could collect, they reasoned, the better protected they’d be for rehearsal and the dinner that would follow, but nothing could stop the swirling in their stomach as they approached the ballroom where the wedding would be the next day.Their steps slowed and Cass pulled ahead until she noticed Jo was behind her and turned.
“Are you okay?”
“Nervous,” Jo replied.
