Page 49 of Emerald Moon
Jo sat there, stunned and staring at their hands while they got swept up into Cass’ imaginary first date.“And then what happened?”
“That’s it.That was the end of our date.”
“Oh.”Jo wasn’t sure why they felt disappointed that it was over.“That’s good.I’ll have to remember all that in case someone asks.”
Jo felt like the natural next question was when was their first kiss, but they couldn’t force out the words.They kept returning to that tent in the middle of the woods, to that moment when Cass was close enough to touch.
Why were they so stuck on the first date that Cass had imagined for them?Why were they now, of all times, thinking about that almost kiss in the tent again?
Did they have feelings for Cass?Jo ran an internal systems check like they did for their brain, but this time they tried to check their feelings.It was a lot more difficult.There were no checked-off boxes on the list of symptoms.If Jo based it all on shows they watched or stories they read, then there was no sudden realization of feelings.There wasn’t a crush making Jo anxious and nervous.This wasn’t a rushing river of emotion.
What Jo felt was more like the creek they had in their backyard growing up.It was always there.Sometimes, after a storm, it was more like a little river, but other times it was a slow trickle, easy to not think about, even if they always heard it.
Cass wasn’t always on Jo’s mind, but it felt like she’d managed, in a short period of time, to somehow always be there.Sometimes Jo thought about her briefly because she saw a customer with short black hair or a bird on their shirt, and then the thought faded.Other times Cass was all they could think about, like when they were waiting for her to text back or when they were listening to a song she’d added to their playlist.
“What do we usually do together?You know, in case anyone asks,” Jo asked once they found their voice again.
Jo waited a beat and when Cass didn’t answer, they said, “Maybe we go birding more.And we can bake together.And just hang out.I feel like that’s what most couples do — just hang out together.Not like I’d know.I haven’t dated anyone long enough for us to feel that comfortable, I guess.”
”I’d like that.All those things.”
”To say as answers?”
”Yes.”Cass tapped her fingers on the steering wheel.“Is that how you’d like it to be if you dated someone?”
”Just hanging out?Yeah, basically.I want to skip all the parts where I’m awkward and nervous and just be happy being around each other.”Jo stared at the side of Cass’ face and took her in.She was attractive, but not in a way that made Jo be awkward around her.And, most importantly, there was no crush!Not even a new friend crush!They didn’t have feelings for Cass.
”I think I’d like that, too.”
”Have you —“ Jo faltered, wondering if they were asking too much.“Have you had something like that before?”
“If you’re asking if I’ve ever been in a serious relationship, then yes.Those are the only kind I have.I don’t date someone unless I’m serious about them.But if you’re asking if I’ve felt like we could just be happy being around each other forever, then the answer is no.Obviously, none of them are still around now.”
”Sorry.I shouldn’t have asked.”
”It’s fine.I don’t mind talking about it.I’ve lived my life.I will continue to live it the best I can and try to have as few regrets as possible.”
Jo turned the words over words in their mind.They didn’t regret their past relationships, but they weren’t particularly happy about any of them after the fact either.Better to change the subject back to their plan. “So we have how we met, our first date, what we do together.”
”And relationship history,” Cass added.
”Right.Good to know.I guess we should know more basic facts about each other.Like, when is your birthday?”Jo laughed.“I can’t believe I haven’t asked that yet.”
“September 27.You?”
“November 17.What’s your favorite color?”
“Sky blue.”
“Emerald green.What’s your favorite food?”Jo turned in their seat to face Cass, happy to see that upturn in the corner of her lips.
“A really good reuben sandwich.”
“Oh, nice one.Mine’s chicken and dumplings.Do you love olives or hate them?”
“Love them.”
“Me, too!There’s no in-between.You either love them or hate them.Thoughts on biscuits versus scones?”
