Page 24 of Emerald Moon
Rolling back over, they decided that self-care meant not paying any attention to those two calls.They could rest now before meeting Krista and get up with enough time to get dressed and be a presentable human later.They were taking good steps.They were, more importantly, taking care of themselves and making choices that made them get through the day a bit easier.Giving themselves a mental high five, they cuddled back into their pillow.
Their phone buzzed.
Jo ignored it and it finally stopped.They let their eyes drift shut again.
The phone buzzed.
They let out a frustrated sigh and reached for their phone.“Hey mom,” they said without looking at who was calling.
“Have you gotten your dress altered?”
No small talk — just diving right in.“Yeah, I’ve gotten it altered,” they lied.
Their mother sighed.“I hope so.I don’t want you waiting until the last minute.The wedding is sooner than you think.And it’s your sister’s big day, so we don’t want any issues.”
“I’m sure it’ll all be fine.”
“Again, I hope so,” she said, sounding anything but hopeful.“I’m certainly working to make that happen.I do have some good news, though.My friend is bringing her very single son.He’s thirty-two, owns a small company, and is very handsome.”
“Thanks, but no thanks,” Jo replied dryly.
“Keep an open mind.You haven’t met him yet.”
“We’ve been through this before.I like women.”Just saying it out loud to their mother made them feel sweaty and prickly all over, the same as the first time — although, they weren’t close to puking from nerves.It never got easier being the odd one out in the family.When Jo was little, they were used to them being a bit quirky, but there were lines that either shouldn’t be crossed or, if crossed, shouldn’t be spoken about.Sexuality was one of those.
Gender identity was another, but Jo hadn’t worked up the bravery to bring that up yet.
“Sure, sure, honey.Just meet him first, alright?And he’s not the only one that’s going to be there!”
“Thanks, well, I was resting so —“
“In the middle of the day?Don’t you have work?I mean, I know it’s not really work, but you still have to be there.”
“I work later.You know that.Did you call now thinking I’d be at work?”Jo pointed out.
“I called when I had the chance.I wasn’t sure you’d pick up.”
Jo wanted to mention that she’d called a million times in a row, obviously expecting them to pick up, but they dropped it to end the call as soon as possible.
While they were glad this conversation hadn’t pushed them into wolfing out, they were pretty sure it was only because they were too tired to get that worked up.
They flopped back down into their pillow and sighed, mentally adding “get dress altered” to their to-do list.They’d been putting it off for a ton of reasons, not the least of which was the fact that they hadn’t worn a dress in years since figuring out more about themselves.Sure, they’d gone through a phase where they tried to be as feminine as possible to make it stick, wearing skirts or dresses most days, but they’d never felt worse than they did then.Part of them worried putting on the stupid dress would bring back those feelings.
Talking to June about it was always an option, but it wasn’t one Jo felt comfortable doing.The two of them hadn’t spoken — really spoken — about more than just the weather or a quick birthday greeting in years.Jo didn’t want to cause any issues, so they’d decided to wear the thing and just change out of it as soon as they could after the ceremony.
It didn’t matter that they closed their eyes, Jo knew sleep wasn’t coming back.Their heart was racing from the call and the idea of going anywhere to get that dress altered.
They added “find someone to bring with me” to the list.There was no way they were going to survive that wedding alone.In one of their rare texts, June had offered to have a spot for Jo’s guest, and they took her up on the offer.Trouble is, they hadn’t decided on anyone yet.
Bringing a friend would be fine, but it wouldn’t end the never-ending line of suitors their mother found for them.They supposed they could pretend that Wil or Krista was their girlfriend, but just the thought made them feel squirmy and weird.Even pretending to date one of them would feel strange, and doing it for a whole weekend felt near impossible.
Fake dating was way more fun in books.
But maybe a fake girlfriend for the weekend, someone Jo was comfortable pretending with, was their ticket to some level of freedom.They needed someone they knew, but not as well as Krista or Wil.Preferably someone their family hadn’t met yet.And really, it’d be great to have someone who looked intimidating to stop questions before they were even asked.
Jo sat up in bed.
Someone like Cass.
