Page 52 of Violet Moon
“Two of the pear and sage tarts, please.”
It took Sera longer than it should have to make sense of her words, but she was able to handle the order, and the next.She took extra time to arrange each tart in the little violet box and tie each closed with a soft, silver ribbon.It was unnecessary, especially when they were eating in the shop, but Sera needed the routine of it.She needed the chance to feel like she’d made something beautiful instead of ruining everything.
She’d even let down Hugh.She hadn’t followed through on any of their plans to meet in days and he was being kind and giving her space.
After her shift, she had no plans, so she dragged her feet up the path to the house.
Jo smacked into Sera and started apologizing, but once they realized who it was, they stopped talking and drew Sera in for a tight hug.
“You don’t have to tell anyone what’s wrong.You just need a hug,” Jo whispered, their hair tickling Sera’s ear.“I really hope I didn’t just make things weird.”
Stunned, Sera gave them a little hug in return.It was nothing like the vice grip around her own waist, but it was nice.
“Not weird, I promise,” Sera said.“Thank you.I did need a hug.”Sera’s voice cracked and she closed her mouth up tight to keep anything else from pouring out.
With another squeeze, Jo let her go.“If I wasn’t incredibly late, I’d stick around but —”
“Go ahead.Don’t worry about me.”
“I will, though.And that’s fine.”Jo grinned and waved goodbye, dashing down the path towards the bakery.“Don’t forget we’re all here for you!”
Sera waved at their back and stood there feeling odd but warm in the sunshine.
She made it as far as the front door before deciding she couldn’t do it.She needed more room to breathe and the house was stifling.The outdoors felt better for now.She slumped into a deck chair on the back porch, but all she could think about was how, in the summer months when it was too hot for the fire, she’d sit out here with Parisa while the cicadas hummed.
The back door opened.Sera tensed and gripped the arms of the chair.For a split second she thought it might be Parisa before she smelled Wilma and heard the distinct pattern of her feet on the deck boards.She was both instantly relieved and disappointed.Somewhere in her heart, she was hoping for the chance for Parisa to come to her so she wouldn't have to be the one.
Wilma said nothing as she came around the back of Sera’s chair and sat beside her in another deck chair.From the corner of her eye, Sera glanced over.Wilma had brought a book and was flipping back to the page she was on.
Sera drummed her fingers on the chair arm and followed one racing thought after the other.She was the one who had screwed up.It was her job to be the one to talk to Parisa first, but she couldn’t imagine doing it, not after the way Parisa had yelled at her with such anger in her eyes — justifiable anger, at that.
Throughout their years of running the pack, Sera had always been chasing after Parisa, trying to keep up with what was expected of her.Times changed and Sera tried to change with them.The pack grew, but with each new member added it became clear that Parisa had picked a Beta too soon.If she had waited, she could have gotten someone better than her.
She felt a bead of sweat roll down the nape of her neck despite the chill in the air.Everything around her had sharpened — the colors of the leaves, the sound of Wilma turning pages, the many smells of the packhouse behind her.She could feel the itch to run surging through her body.The wolf wanted to emerge.Frustrated with herself, Sera suppressed it.As much as she wanted to be the wolf now, it wasn’t the answer to any of her problems.
“I messed up,” she said, voice shaky.
Wilma took her time closing her book.“I know.”
“Does the pack know what happened?”
“Not the details, no.They’ve gathered that something happened between you and Parisa and everyone is worried about both of you.”
“You should be Beta, not me.”
“That’s not how this works.”
Sera stared at the forest that surrounded their home.“I don’t know how we could change it, but we’d all be better off with you.”
“That’s not what I think and that’s not what Alpha Parisa thinks either.”
“She already said it should be you that stands beside her at the next duel.”
“That might be true, but she misses you.”
“That’s impossible.You didn’t see how angry she was.”
“And now she’s miserable, too.”Wilma sighed.“You two have been together as Alpha and Beta for so long.You can make it through to the other side of this.”
