Page 32 of Violet Moon
Sera chuckled despite the raw feeling in her chest.“You’re young by his human standards.By my wolf standards, too.”
Jo shifted closer on the sofa.“Can I at least read the back?I’m just curious.”
The second Jo’s arm and leg bumped into her own, Sera’s chest clenched as blurry memories resurfaced, pieces of them sharpening as Jo continued to talk beside her.She wasn’t listening.Her mind drifted elsewhere, to a home she could barely remember and a freckled face she wasn’t sure if she wanted to remember more clearly or forget altogether.She didn’t know which would help her move on and be able to be alone with Jo without this happening.
She used to read to him.They didn’t have many books, but it was fine because he wanted to read the same one over and over.The book had a red truck in it and his face lit up each time it appeared on the page.
“Beta Seraphine?”
Sera pulled herself back into the present.“Sorry.What were you saying?”
“Nothing important.”Jo narrowed their eyes.“You alright?”
“Perfectly fine.”
“You know, I dump all my feelings on the pack so I can feel better, and you can do the same.”Jo shifted on the sofa, turning towards Sera and folding one leg on the cushion, the other dangling off the side.
“Nothing to share.I promise.”Sera chewed her bottom lip.Words poured out around the lump in her throat.“You just remind me of someone.”
Sometimes Sera wondered why so many of her fuzzy memories were just the two of them.Maybe they’d been the closest.Maybe their parents had been busy.Maybe they’d only had each other.She wanted to remember him.It hurt, but it connected her to a past she’d lost.It connected her to who she was.
“You mentioned that before.”Jo grinned.
She couldn’t stop the words as they tumbled out.“You remind me of my brother.”Her bottom lip trembled.Sera gripped her pant leg, fisting the fabric in her hand.She tried to keep her expression neutral, but she could feel she was failing.
Jo sprung off the couch and threw their arms around Sera’s shoulders.They held on tight, squeezing Sera until it almost hurt.
Sera felt hot tears stinging the back of her eyes.She inhaled a shuddered breath.She screwed her eyes shut as Jo clung to her to make sure no tears slipped free, but one did anyway.It trickled down her face and was salty on her lips.
Jo gave her one more squeeze and then let go, pulling away with a concerned expression on their face.“I’m sorry.”
“What on earth for?”Sera laughed, the sound watery.She wiped a hand across her cheek, sniffling.
“Is that why you don’t like being around me?”
Sera froze.“What?”
Jo curled inwards, eyes landing on their hands folded in their lap.“I’ve noticed you’ll sit and chat with others in the pack, but never me.I thought you didn’t like me much, or that you found me annoying.But now that I know this, I think it makes sense.I can leave you alone if that’s what you need.”
They started to move away, but Sera reached out for Jo’s hand.
“That’s not what I need.Or want.”She did avoid Jo.It was easier than dealing with memories that refused to stay buried, but as much as it stung, maybe she wanted that reminder.It was bittersweet.It was the feeling of love enduring after so much had been lost.
She didn’t want to lose anything more.“You’re part of my pack, my family.I don’t want you to stop being around me.”
“But is that the reason?”
Sera nodded.
Jo placed their other hand on top of Sera’s.“I have no idea what it’s like for any of you.My family is still around.They make me feel terrible sometimes, but at least they’re here.For some of you — for you, for Parisa, Emmaline, Wil.”
Sera sniffled again.Jo’s palm was warm against her skin.It grounded her in the present.Memories faded, but the bittersweet feeling remained.“Then it’s a good thing we have each other, isn’t it?We’ve lost a lot, but I think —” She paused, knowing what she wanted to say, but she needed to gather the strength to say it.“I know I’ve lost an entire life I used to have, but now I have Parisa and all of you.”
Jo sat there, stunned for a second before leaping forward and crushing Sera in another hug.“I don’t know what to say, so I’ll hug you instead.Is that okay?”They squeezed harder.
Sera thought of a little boy doing the same right before he went to sleep.She wrapped her arms around Jo’s middle and hugged them back.“It’s very okay.”
They stayed that way for a while before Jo pulled back, eyes glassy.They laughed and broke the tension that hung in their air between them before returning to talking about the book like nothing had happened, but for Sera, something had opened inside her, and this time, she welcomed it.
