Page 82 of Violet Moon
“Completely gone,” Parisa finished.
Sera wrapped her arms tight around her back and nodded into her hair.
“It hurts to remember but it’s a good kind of hurt,” Parisa added, giving voice to the feelings Sera had been trying to figure out all this time.
“It’s hard to know what to do when what I do remember is strong but fuzzy.I can’t make out details most of the time, and then other times, it’s crystal clear, like I’m still there.”
Parisa wrapped an arm around Sera’s waist.“Thank you for telling me.I don’t talk much about my past, but I’ll try.I’ve had too much practice burying it and what I let out is only what I choose and only small bits that don’t hurt much.You’re brave, you know that, right?”
Sera laughed.
“I mean it.You tell me how you feel even when I’d said that you and I couldn’t be together.You share your deepest wounds with me so openly.”
“I wouldn't call this ‘openly,’ it’s just me —”
“Own it for once, will you?”
“Is that an order, Alpha?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t always follow the rules,” Sera deflected.
“Sera,” Parisa said in a warning tone.
She broke their stare to look up at the ceiling.Despite everything that she’d said out loud, this was even harder.Sera blinked back the stinging behind her eyes and sighed.“Sometimes I’m brave.”
Parisa cuddled closer again.“Was that so hard?”
“Yes.Yes, it was.”Sera poked her in the shoulder.
“Keep doing it and maybe I’ll be brave, too.I have things I haven’t allowed myself to think about in decades, let alone speak aloud.”
“Take your time.”
“I need to be at least as brave as my Beta.”
“I don’t think you need to worry about that.I saw you fight today.”
Parisa sighed against Sera’s skin.“Your bravery is a much scarier thing to embrace.”
“Maybe.”Sera ran her fingers through Parisa’s hair.“I don’t want to get so caught up in chasing these pieces of the past that I forget the present.What I have now — you, the pack — is so important to me.I feel a heaviness inside about the life I didn’t get to have, but I have this one now and I wouldn't change anything.”
She tucked her face against Parisa’s hair and held her close.“I’m glad you’re here.Now.Everyday.I’m so glad I have you.”
Sera felt it again — a good kind of hurt.Laying herself bare was frightening, but as she held Parisa in the quiet moments after, she felt more whole than she had in years.There were no more pieces missing.
twenty-five
Bythetimetheyfinally made it out of Parisa’s room, the pack was busy preparing a celebration dinner.It was late for some of them, but the energy in the house was electric.The quiet tension that had gripped them for weeks had finally relinquished its hold and everything was springing back to life.
Sera tried to sneak back to her room for a moment’s peace before the festivities, but Emmaline grabbed her instead.
“I’ve got a task especially for you.Let’s go bake.”She winked and Sera found herself being dragged all the way to the Emmaline’s where some choux pastry was waiting for her.
“How come you always poke at the pastry like it’s going to bite you?”Emmaline asked with a chuckle.
“How do you know it’s not going to bite me?I just don’t like getting my hands sticky.”
