Page 58 of Violet Moon
“I don’t know if I can do that.”
“You’re braver than you know, and stronger than you realize.And don’t forget, the entire pack is your family, too.”She smiled.“Feelings like these are a great thing to talk to a lump of dough and an oven about.Should we attempt choux pastry again?”
The challenge seemed like the perfect distraction.Sera nodded, setting down her tea.“Sounds like exactly what I need.”
Back at the house, Sera sat in front of the roaring fire for the first time in days.It hadn’t felt right without Parisa but today it was the only place she wanted to be.This was part of what made her love her home.She enjoyed some rare quiet with a cup of coffee, until Jo appeared in her periphery.
“Beta!How are — are you okay?I can go somewhere else if you need to be alone.”
“No need.”Sera waved them over.“It’s the family room for a reason.”
Jo made a face and held up their phone.“Family is a sensitive subject right now.I got a passive aggressive text from my mom and I was looking for someone to hang out with.”
A familiar bittersweet feeling welled up inside her.“Do you need to talk?”
Jo shook their head.“No.No, no, no.I don’t like to talk about this kind of stuff.I’m just glad I’m here.At home.Back home really isn’t home at all anymore.I could never be myself there, not like here where I can be —” Jo wiggled their arms above their head.“You know, all of this.”
Sera smiled, wrapping her hands around her mug and looking down at her coffee.“I don’t remember my home, so this is the only home I know.And it’s a good one.I’m glad you feel like you can be yourself here.”
“Becoming a wolf was like starting over.I’d bugged so many of the Alphas to turn me, but they all said no, except for Parisa who just told me to wait.At the time I couldn’t see why, but now I’m glad for it.”
“Oh?”
“I needed time to figure myself out a bit more before exploding my whole life, I guess.”
“Do you feel like you exploded your life?”
“Yeah, but in a good way.I wasn’t happy, so it needed some exploding.”
“And you’re happier now?”
Jo brightened.“Definitely.The last year has been both super long, like I’ve always been here, and super short, like I just got here yesterday.Some days I wonder if I’ll ever figure myself out.”
Sera chuckled.“I’m far older than you and still confused.Maybe you’ll do better than me.”
Jo plopped down on the other sofa.“Doubtful.Being a hot mess is, like, my whole thing.But I think the pack makes me less of a mess.Like Wil is always looking out for me.So is Alpha Parisa.Harry feels like the big brother I never had.All of them do, really.It’s like I walked into this enormous family and everything was new and difficult, but it also felt like coming home, you know?”
Sera swallowed around the lump in her throat.“I know exactly what you mean.”
This pack she loved was worth protecting, but she couldn’t forget about herself and what she needed to feel at home.She was done pretending.Sera knew what she had to do.
eighteen
Withanolongeravoidable and very important conversation ahead of her, Sera, naturally, procrastinated.It was useful procrastination.At least that’s what she told herself.She had a plan.First she would bake and then she would tell Parisa everything.
“Emmaline, I have a need to bake!”Sera announced, throwing the back door to the kitchen wide open.Her body buzzed with anticipation and nerves.
Emmaline looked up from the tartlets she was decorating and grinned.“Let me finish these and then you can help with the next batch.Go wash up those raspberries for me, will you?”
Sera rubbed her hands together and nodded, getting to work right away.With her hands busy, she felt steadier and could focus on what she had to do.“Can I bring one to Parisa when they’re done?”
“Fine by me,” Emmaline replied.“You make them.You decide what you want to do with them.”She gestured towards a bowl of lemons.“Juice those, if you can.We’re doing raspberries and lemon curd.It’s tart, sweet, perfect.Some things just work so well together, don’t you think?”
She lost herself in the work as Emmaline instructed her and kept her busy, making little room in her mind for anything else.She welcomed the moments where she didn’t think about what she was going to say to Parisa, or replay the moment where she’d stepped into the duel and ruined everything.She cut raspberries, worked the tartlets into their little molds until her fingers were covered in flour and sticky bits of pastry, and did her best to follow Emmaline’s lemon curd instructions.
“It looks so bad.”Sera stared down into the pot.She picked up a bit with a spoon and it fell off in a hardened clump.“See, there’s always a point where it all goes wrong.”
“Nothing’s stopping you from trying again,” Emmaline said.
