Page 48 of Violet Moon
“About some particular feelings?”
Of course he wanted to talk about that.On top of the guilt she already felt for harboring feelings like this for Parisa, she felt worse because she should be focused on the duel, not on how she longed to run her fingers through Parisa’s hair.She’d done a decent job keeping it all below the surface, but there was always a low level concern running through her that Parisa had already seen right past the thin veneer.
“They are properly shoved down deep inside where I will smother them until they die,” she replied with finality.
Hugh gave her a sideways sort of smile.“Is that what you want?”
“It’s what is needed, so yes, it’s what I want.”
“Those can be two very different things, needs and wants.”
“And what I need is for the pack to remain strong, so my wants will always and forever come second — or last.”
Hugh took another sip of wine and sat back in his chair.“I had to fight to put myself first and I don’t think I could live any other way now.”He set down his glass and gave Sera a poignant look.“I killed the witches that made me to serve them.Once I had that taste of freedom, it was so good, but I was lost.It wasn’t until I met Clemente that I realized how good it could be to stop putting everything else before yourself.You can’t draw water from an empty well and you can’t be there for others if you aren’t first there for yourself.”
“I take care of myself,” she said, knowing she was dodging the heart of what he had said.
“I agree.You’re here with me now, aren’t you?”
“I do make time to unload all my problems on you.”
“I’m happy to listen.And tease you some.”
“I’d expect nothing less.”
“Good, because if you don’t do something with those feelings, that little wolf heart of yours is going to burst.”
“I told you, the current strategy for handling feelings is smother and kill.”
“I didn’t want to love Clemente, that obnoxiously wonderful man, and yet here we are.”
“Feelings are terrible.”
“Confusing and delightful.”
Sera thought about the days ahead.“They complicate everything.Hugh, I’m too weak to be who I need to be.”
“Who is it that you need to be?”
“A real Beta, one who’s actually there for her Alpha, not whatever mess I manage every day.”
Sera expected some clever retort, some memory from Hugh’s past delivered as a counterpoint.Instead, she got a simple question, “What does Parisa have to say about all this?”
Sera’s words caught in her throat.She knitted her hands together in her lap.“She doesn’t agree with me in the slightest.”
“She’s a wise one, that Alpha of yours.”
“I’m just worried that because I’m not enough that she’ll — I can’t tell you, but everything could be over.We could lose everything.”
Silence gripped the small space between them as the gravity of the situation seemed to take hold.Sera watched Hugh’s face for any indication of what he was thinking, but of course, he was as calm and collected as ever.The only give away was a gentleness in his gaze.
He rested his palm on top of Sera’s hand.“I sincerely hope nothing that makes you look this scared ever happens.I may not know what’s going on but, so help me, if anyone causes you this much grief, I know they have your pack to deal with, but they also have to contend with me.”
“Run with me tonight?”Parisa paced across the floor in her office.The duel was the following night and tension was thick in the air.
Sera nodded, eager to shed this skin and be her wolf.
They hurried to the back door to let the night swallow their concerns.They shifted not far from the house and Sera kept checking to make sure no one could see her from the windows and turned her back to Parisa.Having Parisa this close was enough to make her skin feel on fire.She knew her pale skin was dotted with pink, blushy splotches.Her heart hammered in her chest in the seconds before the shift and she felt selfish to be so excited given the circumstances that led them here.
