Page 18 of Violet Moon
Wilma and Parisa approached things similarly.They followed one another’s thinking without needing much explanation.With the pack growing, Parisa needed someone more like herself to help run the pack, someone who had their own life together.
Sera was so much more in control as the wolf.She was stronger, more focused, more tenacious.When she was the wolf, Sera felt like her mind and body were connected in a way she could never achieve as a human.She was present.The past didn’t haunt her.
The cardboard inside her binder bent and Sera realized how tightly she had been clutching it.
As they stood to leave, Parisa asked, “Where’s the color today,azizam?”
Sera looked down at her comfortable, drab outfit.She grabbed the hem of her vest and flipped up the edges.“There.The lining is blue.”
Parisa clicked her tongue and shook her head.“It doesn’t count if it’s hidden.”
Sera opened her mouth to retort but caught Wilma watching the exchange.Something that was routine was now much too vulnerable and Parisa’s playful disapproval stung more than it made her laugh.She forced out a smile.“If it’s cold enough I’ll wear some bright gloves.”
Parisa’s grin vanished.She stood up straighter, smoothing down the front of her skirt.“Thank you both.Don’t want to keep you longer than I must.”She nodded in Wilma’s direction and the Gamma took her cue to leave.
“Oh, and Sera,” Parisa called after her as she also turned to leave.
Sera looked back over her shoulder to see Parisa chewing her lip as she chose her words.
“Nevermind.”Parisa waved a dismissive hand.“I’ll save it for later.Tea and coffee by the fire tonight?”
Sera relaxed her shoulders and smiled.At least that was the same.“Looking forward to it.”
In the predawn darkness, Sera prepared coffee and a fresh pot of tea and waited for Parisa to come home.She read the same page in her book over and over, unable to focus on anything until she sensed her Alpha was near.
“Welcome home,” she shouted towards the front door.
No reply came.Instead, Parisa emerged from the hallway looking worn.She slumped into her chair and closed her eyes.
“Is everything alright?”Sera asked.
“No.Yes.”Parisa said sharply then broke out into a strangled laugh.“It is what it is.”
“What’s wrong?”Sera asked, hoping she’d finally learn.
Parisa blinked her eyes back open.“Nothing.”She reached for the cup of tea Sera had placed beside her chair and stared down into it without saying a word.Silence stretched on for ages until Parisa sniffled once and looked up again, eyes watery.
Sera froze.Parisa never cried.
“We should start training again,” Parisa said.“I’ve let myself get weak.”She glanced down at her tea.“I think we all have.”
“There’s a lot of ways to be strong,” Sera said.
“Have you finished the book you borrowed from Edgar?”Parisa asked.
Sera got whiplash from the swift change in mood and topic.“Yes.Diah has it now,” she said, still processing what Parisa said before.“He’s got me reading another one now.”She reached for the book beside her and showed it to her.
“Another good one.I think I devoured that book in a couple of days.”Parisa’s voice and posture was stiff, but she was trying to smile.“Want to tell me about where you are in it?”
Sera longed for an easy conversation, for this fireside chat to feel like the hundreds that had come before, so if she had to work for it, she would.“I was shocked at the, uh, level of heat it had in the beginning.”She joked with a forced laugh.
Parisa made an attempt at a playful grin.“When it comes to books, Edgar knows best.”
“Sometimes I need a little more story.”
“And sometimes I need an escape,” Parisa said, tone heavy with what was left unsaid.
Sera reached forward and settled her hand on Parisa’s knee, looking up to meet her gaze.“Pari, I — I don’t know what’s going on, and you don’t have to tell me, but please don’t shut me out.I’m your Beta, but I’m also your friend.If you need anything —”
