Page 75 of A Duchess to Unravel
“I do not mind,” Theo added quickly, glancing back at him, a small smile on her lips. “I was just curious. What are you saying when you speak it?”
Alistair felt a rare bout of embarrassment as he thought of his answer. In truth he did not know. He’d never lost such control before to simply switch languages mid conversation. Yet he’d obviously done so with Theo. Enough times for her to notice. A seed of discomfort planted into his heart at the realization, and his smile faded.
He seemed to be losing all sorts of control when it came to Theo.
“Praises,” he murmured, slowly losing himself to thought as he absently rubbed Theo’s palm.
“How did you learn to speak it?”
“All of my nannies were Scottish,” he replied, memories of his childhood coming back to him. “They spoke both English and Gaelic. Would switch from one to another smoothly. I had already learned much before my parents got me a proper tutor to learn the language. My father thought it might be necessary if our businesses ever expanded into the small villages of the Scottish Highlands.”
“And did they?” Theo asked.
He nodded, losing a little more of himself to thought.
“It must have been lonely,” Theo murmured, “Growing up in exile. None of your people around.”
“Hmm? Not so much. My parents were both lively people. They didnae let their exile become them. There were constant guests in our home. Some had children. And then there was Bonnie.”
Alistair felt a pain slam into his head, making him flinch. How long had it been since he’d said her name? Since he’d thought of her?
As if Theo had felt him flinch, she turned in the water and straddled his hips, her eyes meeting his as she rested an elbow on his shoulder and began stroking his wet hair. There was no jealousy in her eyes, he noted, just the yearning to know more about him.
“Who is Bonnie?” She asked.
Needing to touch her, needing a link to the present, Alistair’s hand slipped around Theo’s thin waist. Immediately he was comforted by the touch--and that in itself unnerved him all over again. Inside, feelings began to go to war with another.
“She was my sister,” he answered, fighting to keep his battle inside. “She passed away when she was young.”
Sympathy poured from Theo’s eyes, and he had to look away.
“I am so sorry,” she apologized, draping her body over his.
Despite the inner battle, Alistair rubbed his cheek along her temple. He leaned into the sensation of touching her, depending on it.
“May I ask what happened?”
Alistair pressed his eyes shut, not fond of the memory. It was the first time he ever learned that despite how much control he wanted to have, there were some things he could not.
“We were swimming in the Loch one summer,” he told her, the memory growing sharp and vivid in his mind. “It had been a particularly hot day, and my parents did not think twice about letting us go into the cold water. I was fifteen. Bonnie was eleven. We must have been in there for hours, but somehow, Bonnie never grew tired of swimming, even long after I had.
“I tried to get her to come to shore with me. Our parents urged her, too. But she just kept swimming. She stayed in the water until sunset, then finally came back to shore, all smiles and laughter. She’d had an amazing day.”
Alistair’s fingers involuntary flexed against Theo’s waist, tightening his grip.
“She soon caught a chill,” he went on. “We all scolded her. Told her it served her right for staying in the water so long. We all thought she’d have a cold for a few days and then be right as rain. But she didn’t. She never recovered. And a week later we buried her. Not long after that, lost in grief and ignoring her own health, my mother died. Then years later, his own grief unhealed, my father followed them.”
Alistair let the silence settle around him, out of words and full of shame for what he’d just confessed. He’d never explained his past to anyone. Never showed the guilt and sadness he’d harbored so long after the death of his family.
Theo leaned forward, as if to kiss him. But it was too intimate of a gesture for him to accept. He tilted his head to the side before her lips could make purchase and made up for it by pulling her to his chest. Theo remained rigid for a moment, as if not sure how to feel about it, then went soft against his body, and placed a kiss upon his pectoral muscle as she settled into his embrace.
To his relief, she remained silent, as if knowing he had said too much. They stayed that way, curled around another until thewater in the tub grew tepid, and small shivers began to twitch down Theo’s spine.
“It is late,” Alistair murmured, finally breaking the silence. “Your body has been through much tonight. Let me get you to bed.”
Theo sighed contently against his chest, nuzzled him once more, and then rose from the water. He followed her and wrapped her tightly in a bathing sheet before attending to himself.
“Perhaps you could lend me a shirt?” Theo asked, absently drying her hair.
