Page 79 of A Duchess to Unravel
“What would thetonthink?” he managed to say in a fairly controlled tone. “If you were to be spotted at one of your brother’s estates. It would undo all the work we have accomplished.”
Hurt flashed through Theo’s eyes and sent another spear into Alistair’s heart. How was he supposed to give her what she wanted when she would not tell him?
“If you truly feel that you must go,” he pushed forward, “at least stay in one of my homes. I inherited the Caldermere country home along with everything else. You could go there.”
Tears welled in Theo’s eyes, breaking his heart even more. He wanted to wrap her in his arms, demand to know what was going on, but his hands stayed firmly planted on the back of her chair; his knuckles turning white.
“Very well, then,” she said at last, her tone breathy and weak. She wiped quickly at her eyes, looking almost angry as she did so, and swallowed.
“You will not mind if I have my friends come stay with me. I am in need of their company.”
Alistair bowed his head, shook it as he leaned on the chair.
“Of course not,” he murmured. “Whatever you wish.”
Theo gave a terse nod, sniffled, then swept her hands down the skirts of her mint green gown as she raised her chin proudly.
“Very good,” she said, her tone stiff. “I believe I am no longer hungry. If you will excuse me, I would like to retire now.”
“No,” he said, too quickly and far too sternly. He winced at his own force and corrected his tone.
“I mean--Theo, you did not eat. I have not been able to join you for breakfast and have no proof that you have been nourishing yourself. I command you to stay and finish your plate.”
As Alistair stated the words, he reached for the ability to make her obey, for the ability to care for her in the few ways he knew how. Yet as Theo shook her head, he knew what power he’d held over her was gone.
“Our bargain has concluded, Your Grace,” she stated coldly, taking another step back from him and turning away. “I have no need to obey you anymore. And you certainly have no need to protect me. I bid you a pleasant evening.”
Alistair let go of the chair with a shove, ready to reach for her and make her sit. When she turned her head back to him, though, the warning glare in her now cold, blue eyes brought him to a complete stop. His hands fell limply to his sides as he saw a deep void within her, and he watched silent, resigned, helpless, as she turned away from him, and left the room.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
“Isent a messenger to my country house last night,” Alistair stated. “The staff was alerted of your arrival and should have the house ready to receive you by the time you arrive.”
Head down, eyes to the ground, Theo pressed her lips together and nodded.
“That was very kind of you, thank you. I did not even think about that,” she answered stiffly.
It was the next morning and judging by the deep lines beneath Alistair’s eyes, Theo was certain that neither of them had gotten a wink of sleep. There were several times throughout the night that she could have sworn someone had entered her sitting room, yet every time she opened the door between her bedroom and sitting room to check, she found it empty, and presumed it was just her foolish broken heart playing tricks on her.
“It is no problem at all,” Alistair replied, not sounding at all like himself. “If you have need of anything--anything at all. Send for me, and I will provide it.”
She nodded, and with her eyes still on the ground, she watched his fine, large black leather shoes take another step toward her. The pull to bring her body closer to his was like a gravitational force, and she swayed. When his hands came to her shoulders, Theo was caught between shouting at him to stop touching her and sagging forward into his hold.
“Theo,” he said, his usually calm, deep voice, sounding unsure, “you do not have to do this, you know. We still have a month-and-a-half left. You may stay here. We can continue your lessons.”
It was a compelling thought, but as she felt her heart break at his words, Theo knew she needed more than an offer. She needed him to want her to stay. It was against their deal, against what they had both originally wanted, but it was the truth all the same. She had changed. And now she wanted him.
Theo forced her eyes up, unable to draw on even a pretend smile. She tried to meet his eyes but could not do that either. Instead, she focused on his Adam’s apple, hoping it would help. It did not, and instead only reminded her of how only less than a week ago she had pressed her lips to that very spot.
“It is a generous offer, Alistair, but no,” she answered. “Like you said last night, my stay at your country home will provide us safety from rumors while giving you the freedom to attendwhatever else you need to accomplish before you return to Scotland.
Theo did not like the woman that spoke those words. She sounded tired, defeated. Hollow. It reminded her of the woman she had become after her mother’s death.
“Theo,” Alistair’s voice brought her back. She realized her shoulders had slumped defeatedly, and she straightened her posture, meeting his eyes without thinking about it. It was a mistake.
The moment their gazes met she felt his warmth and attention flood her.
“If this is about the Devil’s Masquerade … what I did to you there … if I was too rough ….”
