Page 82 of A Duke, a Virgin and a Baby
It was not all that surprising to discover that her mother still held on tightly to her distasteful mannerisms, but Anna found it somewhat appalling that Sally could not find the decency to at least pretend.
“Why would you be there?”
Sally’s smile froze and then dimmed as she glanced around awkwardly.
“I-I beg your pardon, dear?”
“Why would you have been at the wedding?” Anna repeated, brows furrowed in mock confusion. “I had every reason to be there, as it was my brother-in-law who was getting married. And the wedding was held at my house. So, tell me mother,why should I have extended an invitation to you? Do you think yourself so important?”
Sally’s cheeks turned red with embarrassment, and she said,
“I do not know why you are so intent on being so unkind to me. The last time we spoke, you scolded me terribly for doing what I could to look after you –”
“Is that what you tell yourself to alleviate whatever guilt you should feel over what you’ve done? That you had ‘looked’ after me, as any mother would?” Anna questioned, in disbelief at her mother’s insinuation.
“Look here, Anna,” Percival spoke, straightening up slightly. “This bitterness within you is utterly unfounded. We did what any good parent would do. We set you up in a life that would ensure that you had no regrets. You were treated no differently than your sister – and she has not voiced a single word of complaint!”
“That does not mean that I have nothing to complain about, father,” Leah stated in her usual calm demeanor. “When you and mother were insistent on being involved in my life and my marriage, I allowed it because I am the oldest daughter and I had a responsibility to care for you both, and my younger sister. However, you did not once stop to consider my feelings. I was nothing more than a pawn that you used in hopes that it would open more doors to events attended by people of status and offer you recognition. And when I married and received my title,it wasn’t enough for you. Still, you forced Anna into unsavory, dangerous situations. You need to realize how wrong it all was.”
Sally balked, looking between her daughters.
“Wrong? You are a marchioness! And Anna – you are a duchess! What is wrong about the life of comfort you now live? You are blessed with abundance and respect, and the ton would worship the ground you walk on if you deemed it –”
“At what cost, mother? You were ready to sell me off to the first person who could get you what you wanted, but you never spared any concern towards me and my well-being. You did not care for either of us – whether we were safe or happy in the marriages you forced us into! You do not know of the things we had to endure!” Anna interrupted, her cheeks also flushed. “A real mother would have wanted me to live a good life of my choosing! She would have wanted me to feel loved and safe in my marriage! I have those things now, but wasn’t so at first. I cannot tell you how lonely I was for the first handful of months, how much I craved to be loved and seen. I didn’t even know what that was like because you did not love me. Neither you nor father cared about me enough to deem me worthy of anything more than being your key into the world of the elite. And I do not want such attitudes near me or my family any more. If you truly want to be this way – if you wish to hold onto the belief that I owe you for my current situation, then I would rather you walked out of my life and never looked back.”
Sally and Percival stared at her in shock, clearly not expecting their youngest daughter to have such thoughts nestled in her heart.
“You do not get to sit there and tell us that we ought to be grateful for what you’ve done, when you cannot fathom our experiences. It is unfair, and demeaning, especially because you hold onto the idea that you did the best you could. But the reality is that you treated us poorly and I stand with Anna in her decision to keep you out of her life. I might’ve accepted your actions and moved past it all, but she wanted support, more than anything during a trying time in her life. Rather than care for her, you fed into her fears and disregarded her concerns. Such behavior should never be rewarded.” Leah added, lifting her cup to her lips.
Sally remained silent for a moment as she stared at her daughters, and when she finally spoke, her voice wavered uncertainly.
“I… I did not know. I truly did not imagine that you were so hurt by what we did. I understand that it all sounds like an excuse, but we truthfully did want what was best for you. However, I cannot deny that we allowed our greed to feed into our desires and ruin our conscience. Ultimately, I did want you both to never have a single worry in your lives. That is all any mother wants. But I understand that by putting such pressures on your shoulders, I hurt you and I am horrified by my actions. I am truly sorry, my daughters.”
She reached across the table to Anna’s hand, disappointed and a little heartbroken when Anna slipped her hands away, clinging to her husband instead.
“The last time I saw you… I was truly devastated. The mere thought of not being able to my grandchildren – not getting to know the lovely children you will have, shattered my heart. And I realized that I had been focused on the wrong things all along. This family means more to me than the recognition and respect from people who could care less what I wear or what parties I attend. I am sorry, my dears; for failing you. I can only hope that you will find it in your heart to pardon my transgressions and give me a chance to make up for my mistakes.” Sally pleaded earnestly.
Percival, who had been silently watching the exchange, cleared his throat suddenly and all eyes shifted to him.
“Your mother is right. What matters to us more than anything is family. That is where our priorities should have lain from the start. I understand that deeply now, because… because I have been keeping something from you all.” He told them grimly.
Unease settled in Anna’s gut and she straightened her spine, tightening her hold on Julian’s hands.
“What is it?” she asked when the silence from the father prolonged.
Percival sighed and shifted his gaze to hers, glancing at Leah momentarily before deciding that he would find it easier to speak if he pretended to find the tablecloth fascinating.
“I have been ill, for a few months now. Your mother might have had her suspicions, but I was intent on hiding it because I did not want to appear weak before anyone. However,… it has caused me to reflect on my life and the choices I made that led me down various paths. I am truly disappointed in my actions. I should have been a better father, a more reliable protector for you – my beloved girls. You have both grown up stronger than I ever imagined and I could not be prouder. But where my pride dwells, shame also resides there as well. I am saddened that I cannot say that I contributed positively to your growth – only to the scars you now feel as though you must protect your own family from. I do not know what my illness is for certain, or how fatal it is. But it has only served as a sign that this is not what I want – to be estranged from my children. I know we have much to atone for, but we would like a chance to at least do that much.”
Anna gave her parents a long look, feeling her heart quake in the face of their weaknesses. She appreciated that she had gotten to speak her mind and that for the first time in a long time, they had listened to her.
She did not want to lose them completely, because truly, what mattered above all else was family.
Her gaze rested firmly on her mother and she exhaled deeply, then spoke.
“I will choose to forgive you, mother, for now. But my trust still remains gone, until you have worked to earn it back. And it is that trust that will determine whether or not you will see your grandchildren.”
To her father, she said,
