Page 73 of A Duke, a Virgin and a Baby
His words startled Anna, who had just taken in a bite of cake and had barely chewed. She quickly held up a hand, motioning to him to wait as she took a sip of her wine while she worked through the tasty morsel, glaring playfully at her husband as he laughed.
“R-Really? Why do you think so?”
Julian shrugged, pushing crumbs around his plate with his fork.
“I think a daughter would have suited her better than Seth and I did. She loved us, I think, but not enough to stand up for herself.Not enough to believe that she was still worth much, even if her husband did not value her. I thought that if we had a sister, perhaps one who took her looks, she might’ve felt more inclined to care about her, and not my father. She hid in here a lot when Father was away, and at first, she would ensure that Seth and I were well and comfortable before she slipped into her solitude. But I think that eventually, she couldn’t stand to look at us, because we looked too much like our father, and yet, we were not him. Only a reminder of the one thing she wanted but couldn’t have.”
Her husband did not sound sad or forlorn. Just… accepting of the situation that his life had consisted of. And it hurt Anna, because he had deserved so much more as a child who was simply learning how to find his place in the world.
“What was she like?” she heard herself asking. “Your mother. What are the things you loved about her?”
Julian paused for a moment, and then he smiled. “I loved her voice. She loved to sing, more often than not humming a cheery tune or teasingly vocalizing as she played the piano. One of my earliest memories is of her singing Seth to sleep in the nursery, shortly after he was born. She was truly beautiful, and she loved flowers. Three times a week, early in the morning, she would go out into the garden, armed with a basket to pick the freshest flowers. And she would put some in the nursery and some in Father’s room. I eventually learned that was her way of showing affection to us, because my father had once complained that he did not like them and threw the vase of pink roses out of the window.
“She had gone out after that to pick them out of the shattered glass and put them in here afterwards. I’d never seen her look so dejected. She tried, I think, to keep herself together for our sake, but it was all too much for her. She had no support, no one to encourage her. If I’d known better, perhaps I would’ve given her the love and assurance she needed. She passed so quietly, in the dead of night. One day, she just wasn’t there, and there were no more flowers in our nursery anymore. I wish I had been a better son to her.”
“You were only a child. I’m sure you did what you could in that circumstance. There is only so much a person can accomplish without the means to do so. She might not have shown it, but I am sure that you and your brother were the happiest parts of her life. Your mere existence gave her a sense of accomplishment, and she was ready to do whatever she could to show you exactly that. Do not blame yourself for anything. Your father is the one who should have done better.” Anna replied, holding onto his hand.
Julian stared down at their interlocked hands, a small smile gracing his lips as he caressed her knuckles with his thumb.
“I was so scared of becoming him. Of ruining another life that was simply seeking attention and affection. I had a lot of worries when we were wed, and I hoped that the distance would fix that. My mother had no freedom, so she was always within these walls, forced to wait for love that would never find her. I didn’t want to subject you to that –”
“You did not,” Anna cut in fiercely. “You might’ve not been… the most accommodating at first, but you did what you could to ensure that I could live comfortably. As much as I was willing to make our marriage work at first, I was also quite worried and scared, because I did not know the man I’d married. Perhaps… perhaps it is better that things worked out the way they did. If we had been together from the start, I couldn’t have gotten to slowly make my way into your heart.”
“That is true,” Julian laughed lightly, earning a grin from Anna. “We might’ve fought a lot – or at least more than we eventually did. That would’ve been quite troublesome.”
“Precisely,” Anna agreed with a nod. “It might not have been perfect, but we did all right. We eventually found each other, and I want to believe that counts for so much.”
Julian stared at her silently, a small smile gracing his lips, and she felt herself fall deeper in love.
“You are absolutely right, my love. We’re together now, and that is what matters. Thank you for loving me and for giving me a chance to earn your trust and love.” He said, gently squeezing her hand in his.
“Thank you for loving me in return. And for choosing to stay and trusting in me,” she replied in the same quiet tone, confused when he tried to tug her closer.
“I believe I’ve behaved myself long enough. The emotional nature of our conversation has worn out my defenses, and I amno longer immune to the effect of that dress.” He told her with a wolfish grin.
“Oh my – you are quite the fiend.” She laughed as he pushed his chair back and patted his thigh. “Julian. What –”
“We’ve been too far apart all evening.”
“We sat next to each other the whole meal. You kept holding my hand!” she pointed out incredulously.
“Have you not realized that I am insatiable when it comes to you? I can never have enough of you – I’ll always want more and more.” He nodded sagely, as though he had just admitted to a fault. “Besides, was it not you who promised to do whatever I wanted after dinner? Well, I want to hold you.”
Anna stared at her husband, a laugh bubbling in her throat as she rose to her feet.
“You are a silly man sometimes,” she said, approaching him slowly.
Julian spread his legs apart even more, grinning up at her.
“Nonetheless, you love me.”
Ah, she thought.By God–
“I do. I love you so much.” She stated, finally settling onto his lap, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.”
“Good girl,” he whispered against her lips, then he kissed her properly.
It was interesting to Anna how he always managed to steal her breath each and every time. His hands held her securely by the waist, keeping her still as his lips ravished hers, eventually trailing open-mouthed kisses down her neck to her bosom.
