Page 54 of A Duke, a Virgin and a Baby
“Hm?” Julian shifted his attention to her, immediately noticing her distress as she exited the room.
“W-Wait, where is she going? Does she not need to ensure that I do not drop him?” Seth wondered in alarm.
“Shh, keep your voice down or you’ll startle him,” Julian instructed, motioning for Seth to stay put.
He quickly left the nursery, relieved to find Eloise waiting a few doors down. He instructed her to follow him and when they returned to the nursery, he told her,
“Look after my brother while he spends time with Nicholas. If anything seems out of place, you have my permission to remove Nicholas from his grasp. Until then, just keep an eye on them both.”
“Yes, Your Grace,” Eloise curtsied.
“Where are you going?” Seth demanded in a hushed tone.
Julian cast a singular glance backward and replied,
“To see if my wife is all right.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
“Are you all right?”
Anna looked up from her hands that were folded on her lap, surprised to see her husband standing in her bedroom. Nervously, she raised her hands to her face, sighing with relief when her fingertips came into contact with her warm and dry skin.
“Y-Yes. I’m quite all right.” She said quickly.
Julian seemed doubtful as he walked closer to her, his eyes immediately noticing the red rim around hers, even though her face was void of tears. She looked upset over something and his instincts told him things were likely more complicated than he would expect.
“Are you sure? I’m sorry if my brother upset you in some way. He’s quite a handful, but I believe he truly means well. I told you before, how my family barely behaved like we were related, noneof us able to form close relationships because it just seemed easier to exist independently. Seth might be a lot of things — and I would never give him unnecessary credit if it wasn’t due — but he has never meant to harm anyone. I cannot condone his promiscuous ways, but I am certain he did not know about his child’s existence. Even now, he can’t seem to find Nicholas’ mother, likely because he can’t imagine why anyone who would have his child would not try to make an honest man out of him with it. I know you do not approve of him, and frankly speaking, neither do I. But he is what Nicholas needs. If not now, ten years in the future when he needs a man he can look up to and rely on. Seth might not be that person today, but he’s willing to try moving forward.”
Anna inhaled shakily, her expression strangely unreadable as she asked.
“So what would you have me do?”
“Give him a chance to make things right. I know that won’t be easy with how much you’ve come to care for Nicholas, but he needs to be where he rightfully belongs. And that is with his father. You’ve done your best and I’m sure that one day in the future, Nicholas will thank you for it. Just as Seth and I do.”
Anna was silent for a moment, and then her shoulders dropped as she she said,
“I do not think it is in my place to stand between your brother and the new journey he wants to embark on with his son. ButI can’t help but feel… saddened, by the idea of having to give Nicholas away.”
Julian frowned something in his subtly inserting a light warning tone into his voice.
“But… he was never supposed to stay here forever. We agreed to look after him until his parents were found. Now that they have been —”
“I know, I know. It is not what you think it is.” Anna snapped, looking more and more tired as the time passed. “I just… I can’t help but feel as though I am facing a great loss. The moments I spent with Nicholas and you made me long for a family of my own. I adore that child so much and I do understand that he was never mine to begin with, but I feel empty without him already. Without you both. I’ve lived the last few months of my life not properly engaging in activities that would make me feel truly alive. I was free, yes and I am grateful for the chance I was given to live comfortably without the weight and pressure of anyone’s expectations. But I lacked fulfillment. And I do not want to go back to living an empty life. I am married, Julian. I want to feel like a married woman, with a husband and a child to care for. Is that such a difficult thing to want?”
Julian was silent, his gaze trained on her so intently, that she wondered if she had made a mistake by conveying her feelings. But then he dropped down onto one knee and reached for her hands, holding them gently as he said,
“If a child is what you want, I can give one to you. I understand that you have grown attached to Nicholas and I do not blame you, nor do I see your actions as anything to look down on. You are a woman and it is only natural that you wish to nurture a child of your own, after spending so much time nurturing another for the sake of his survival. You have done so much, and if what you desire is a child of your own, then I will give one to you. That way, you will not be alone in my absence.”
Anna’s face held an expression of shock. Julian knew his words were a little audacious, but this was the only thing he could offer as a solution to her. He knew what she desired, what she was truly asking for but he couldn’t give that to her. He had already risked their well-being greatly enough with his stay here. It was time to put an end to this charade.
“I-In your absence? But, Julian —”
“I cannot stay, love,” he told her, his tone soft as his words ripped through her heart. “When all this is over, I intend to return back to my estate in Bath where I lived until now and that is something that cannot change. But, I will give you a child, just like you want before I depart.”
When he was met with silence, Julian rose to his feet, reaching out to stroke her cheek gently as he urged,
“You may take some time and think about it. Let me know when you have made a decision.”
