Page 23 of A Duke, a Virgin and a Baby
But the scandal… it had left him no choice. To resist the pull of propriety required after being caught so obviously would have been an even greater stain, an ungentlemanly act that would have tarnished his carefully cultivated reputation and dragged his family name further into the mud.
And she might claim to have been able to stand against what would have followed, but he knew that was not true. Anna had no idea how cruel people could be. But he did, all too well.
“I didn’t have a choice,” he said, the words clipped, defensive.
A dry, sarcastic laugh escaped her, a sound that grated on his nerves.
“You are not the martyr you think you are, Your Grace. Perhaps we both would indeed have been better off if you had just left me to my fate. A ruined woman is hardly a happy one, but a woman trapped in a cold marriage to a man who despises her presence is surely worse.”
The words stung, hitting closer to the truth than he cared to admit. Hecouldbe kinder. He knew it. He could tell her that their fates had been intertwined the moment she’d stepped into the conservatory and that his sense of honor, his deep-seatedneed for order and reputation, had compelled him to act. He could confess that the idea of her facing utter ruin, of being cast out, had not been his motivation then, but he was working to forget that it still indirectly played a part in his actions. He could tell her that, despite his rage, he hadn't wanted her to suffer.
But the words remained lodged in his throat, choked by his own pride. Instead, he forced a curt, almost dismissive reply. “Perhaps you are right. But there is little to do about the past now than regret it.”
He pushed back his chair, the scraping sound loud in the quiet dining hall. Without another word, he rose and left her sitting alone at the vast table, realizing with each step away and a fresh wave of frustration, that the kiss they had shared had only complicated everything.
CHAPTER SEVEN
“Imust say, after avoiding my company for so long, I am surprised you would willingly seek me out. Perhaps I should put my head out a window and see if I might be fortunate enough to catch a pig in flight.”
Julian snorted and pulled the wraps tighter over his hands, flexing his fingers afterwards to see if he felt comfortable with its tightness.
“I did not avoid you,” he responded with a click of his tongue. “You were on yet another trip away with your wife. How many places does one need to see with one’s wife?”
Lysander Millington, Duke of Windermoor, shrugged as he marched to the center of the ring, stretching lightly.
“There will never be enough, and it was a lovely trip, if you wish to know.”
“I don’t. Your marital affairs are none of my concern.” Julian replied, moving towards where Lysander stood, holding his arm up to serve as his guard.
“You do not take any interest in yours either – or rather you wish to pretend that you do not. Which is why you are here, with me, instead of keeping your wife company. Tell me, how long do you intend to keep up this game of running away from her?”
Julian tried to hide his bubbling irritation as he said, “I am not running —”
“You are. You have been for months now. And just as you recently returned home, it did not take you very long for your legs to take you to flee.” Lysander grinned, much to Julian’s irritation.
I do not understand what this has to do with my wife. Or yours, for that matter. Neither of us were married when we started coming here. And yet, it’s all we’ve talked about.”
Lysander seemed to relent for a moment, and he beckoned Julian closer. The Duke of Morland was never impulsive – especially during sparring sessions. He preferred if his partner made the first move, giving him time to read their pattern and formulate an idea on how to take them down.
But he was feeling rather impatient. He had felt it ever since he’d left Anna in the dining hall, an uneasy itch beneath his skin to get away and rid himself of thoughts of her.
However, that was easier said than done, as his friend whose very existence seemed to comprise of the joy he had found since his marriage to his wife.
Julian curled his hands into a fist and took a swing at Lysander, correctly predicting the other’s retaliation almost perfectly. Julian waited for him to attempt to block, and tried to hit his unguarded torso, letting out an impressed huff when Lysander managed to block his attack.
“You know, attempting to masquerade as a bachelor never works when you already have a wife. You have already returned back to your home — and there is nothing stopping you from getting well acquainted with her. Would you really rather not grace her with that sharp attention of yours, Your Grace?” Lysander said with a grunt as Julian managed to land a blow on him finally.
“Actually, yes. I have no interest in her whatsoever and I will not spend my time giving her attention that is better served elsewhere.”
When Julian was a boy, his mother warned him that lies could consume a person.
“It starts small, innocent, and unsuspecting. Slowly spreading and staining your life. Before you know it, the lies you have told will eat at you, spreading through your life and swallowing everyone else. Do not lie, my jewel.” She had told him once with a haunted look in her eyes.
And Julian had taken her words to heart, as he had everything else that had to do with her during that time.
Although he wasn’t sure what sort of way the lies, he told might consume him then, he had an idea now as his chest seemed to sting at his utterances.
He had tried not to think of Anna too much but she had somehow taken up permanent residence in his head, the memory of their shared kiss all he could think about more often than not. That breakfast afterwards had been torturing to endure, with his mind plagued with all the ways he wanted to subdue her with pleasure, to feel her tremble in his arms again, to relish in the sounds he could pull out of her.
