Page 21 of A Duke, a Virgin and a Baby
Walking down the familiar hallway to her own chambers, Anna felt a strange detachment, as if she were floating slightly above her own body. The house was quiet now, with the staff having retired for the night. She entered her spacious bedroom, the familiar comfort of the familiar space offering little solace against the swirling chaos of her thoughts.
The bath had been prepared, with light pink rose petals floating atop the water. Ellen was setting Anna’s nightgown out when she arrived and suddenly, the duchess was in need of some solitude.
“You may go now, Ellen. I will handle the rest myself.” She told the younger girl.
“Are you sure, Your Grace?”
“Quite. Thank you, dear.”
“Of course, Your Grace,” she said and took her leave after curtsying.
Once the door was closed and Anna was truly alone, she pressed a hand to her lips, her eyes wide, staring at her reflection in the darkened window pane. The ghost of his kiss still lingered a phantom pressure that sparked a blush across her skin. It was shockingly real, the memory vivid and unsettling.
Slowly, she stripped and sank into the warm bath water, letting her mind wander a bit.
She had never been kissed before, but she had often imagined what it would feel like. She had expected a shy, tentative peck, or maybe a lingering press of lips, heavy with affection. But never would she have expected it to feel like that.
That raw, consuming force, that desperate heat that had completely stolen her ability to think, to resist.
And what surprised her the most had been how much she had enjoyed it. She hadlikedit.
“Oh, I must really have lost my mind, she muttered to herself,” the admission in the quiet room, sent a fresh wave of heat through her, along with a mixture of shame and bewildered fascination.
She had wanted it to continue. She had wished they had not been interrupted.
But… Why had he done it? Was it truly just to silence her, to punish her consistent defiance? Or perhaps… was there something more?
She recalled the way his hand had found the small of her back, the possessive way he’d pulled her against him, the depth of his groan as she’d responded the way he had likely hoped. He had seemed as affected as she was, perhaps even more so in that fleeting moment before the knock on the door. His eyes, usually so controlled and cold, had been dark with an edge she couldn't quite decipher.
A flicker of her usual resentment returned. She still didn’t wholly trust him. He had abandoned her, left her to face their marriage alone, and then a mystery child who had been brought to their door.
And the child… Nicholas. Julian’s vehement denials still warred with her ingrained suspicion. How could a baby simply appear on their doorstep, perfectly healthy at a time when she had finally gotten completely comfortable with the life she had built if he weren't somehow connected to Julian? It was too convenient.
Yet, a softer voice in her mind countered these accusations.
He had shown me concern tonight, ordered my food, and acknowledged my hard work. Yes, his delivery was gruff and contradictory. But he had seen me and my efforts.
And he hadpledged his innocence. He had claimed to be a man of his word, and she had seen enough of his rigid adherence to propriety to believe he might value that above all else. But if Nicholas wasn't his, then who was he? The thought spun in her head, adding to the perplexing puzzle.
After her bath, she walked to the window sill and sat down to stare out at the moonlit grounds of Morland Eestate, no longer feeling quite as if she owned them, but rather as if she was merely a guest, a pawn in a game far larger than herself.
Who was Julian Harrow, really? The proper, distant Duke? The man with a quick temper and a penchant for harsh words? Or the man who could kiss her with such unsettling passion despite their constant clashes, then order her a hot meal, and appear, for a fleeting moment, as lost as she felt?
Her thoughts gained no clarity as time passed and soon, she fell asleep with his image burned into her mind, a perplexing, frustrating, and undeniably compelling puzzle.
“I am truly the king of fools,” Julian mumbled to himself.
The kiss had been a mistake. An infuriating, utterly illogical mistake. Julian clenched his pillow, the soft thing offering no resistance to the turmoil churning within him. He had been foolish. Completely and utterly so. He had lost his head, surely.
Do not ever marry.The words echoed in his mind, a mantra he had clung to for years, a shield against the inevitable pain he believed he would inflict. He had wanted nothing to do with Anna Munro, this stranger forced upon him by circumstance and conniving parents. He had given her freedom, given himself freedom, and for nine months, it had worked. A peaceful, solitary existence, precisely as he had planned.
But then the blasted child with troublesome parents – who would find more trouble on their hands when he was through with them - had arrived, pulling him back into the chaos, and suddenly, she was there. Her green eyes, sharp with indignation, her slender form, her infuriating stubbornness. And tonight… those lips and that cutting tongue had fueled him with a feeling of desire that had been ignited by the sight of her from the night before.
It was that blasted nightgown, the vulnerable and exposed appearance she had donned in the dim hallway light, that had struck him with a primal notion he hadn't known he possessed.
After years of instilling control within himself, after cautioning himself against the all-consuming feeling that could overwhelm one’s heart and lead to dire mistakes, it was very foolish indeed, how it had taken a moment of want to kiss his wife.
He rolled onto his back, staring at the dark ceiling. He could still feel the startling softness of her lips, the subtle tremor that had run through her body when he had pulled her close. How easily she had been overtaken by him, melting in his arms, her hands clutching his shirt. A dangerous thought slithered into his mind– how easily he could have claimed her completely, there and then. And God help him, how much he had wanted to do just that.
