Page 77 of His Highland Duchess
“May I ask ye something?” Margaret asked, taking a step forward as she did. Lysander had to resist the urge to step back. “If it pleases ye?”
“It does…”
“That day when ye came to me with the letter…” She was determined now, refusing to look away, forcing Lysander to meet her because he did not wish to appear weak. “Before I noticed it, before I…” She sighed and shook her head. “Before I ruined everything. Ye were going to tell me something?”
Lysander grimaced again. “Perhaps. Now, it does not seem relevant.”
“So ye say,” she said, taking another step closer, so that there was less than ten feet between them. “But I would like to be the judge.”
“I…” Lysander shook his head in dismissal. “It is too late now, Margaret. Much has changed since then.”
“Has it though?” she pushed gently. “Or da ye just wish that it had?”
“Everything has changed,” he said sharply. “You saw to that.”
She winced, but she did not back down. “Still, I would hear what ye were going to tell me. As much as ye think things have changed, I…” She bit her lip, considering. “I am nae so sure that they have. Not by my mind.”
“It is too late.”
“Too late for what? I am here, Lysander. I have nae left yet, nor will I if –” She caught her tongue, careful not to say what he was certain was right there on its tip. “Tell me. Please, I… I need to hear it.”
She was giving him an opening. A chance to rectify his foolishness and stubbornness. Lysander’s pulse began to race, and he felt his breathing become harsh. Deep down, he knewwhat she wanted to hear, just as he knew how desperate he was to say it.Tell her… tell her that you want her to stay. That you need her to stay. Tell her that you love her…
Fear held him back. Still, that flickering turmoil that had lived with him his entire life, rejection, loneliness, heartache felt when one dared to give themselves to another. If he did tell her how he felt, what if she still turned him away?
“What of you?” he ventured carefully, daring to hold her stare with a determined one of his own. “Before you fell from your horse. And after, when I came to you. You, too, had something to tell me. I cannot help but wonder what that might have been?”
Margaret broke into a smile. “Is that how ye wish to play this game?”
“Game…” Lysander felt a smile forming on his lips, but he kept it back. “Not a game, Margaret. I simply want the truth.”
“The truth, is it?” Again, she took a step closer. “Aurelia told me that these last few days, you have been…” Her smile fell for a moment. “That ye have been behaving differently. Saddened, she said. Upset. Nae yourself.”
“And you wish to know why?”
“I can take a guess.”
Despite himself, Lysander took a step toward her. And then another. It was as if she was pulling him closer, a force he could not resist. “I’m listening.”
“I hurt ye,” Margaret said, the smile still gone from her lips, guilt now coloring her tone and the stare she held on him. “When I suggested that I leave…” Her shoulders slumped, and she looked on him with pity. “Ye must ken, it was said out of love for your daughters, Lysander. Guilt, as I was certain it was all my fault. I never meant to… to… I never wanted to hurt ye. Or to suggest that I dae nae…”
“Do not what?” He took another step closer, less than five feet away.Just say it… say the words so I can return them.
Margaret hesitated. She bit her lip. She studied him closely, her eyes roaming with uncertainty. It was all so silly, this little performance, but it was not a surprise. This entire marriage had been colored by two people who were not exactly known for their honesty or their clarity. Confusion had haunted this marriage since the first day, and where they had each sought at different times to clear away that confusion, it was always there.
But it was fading away. Lysander could see in Margaret that desire to once and for all dispense with such things. He looked at her, his eyes pleading, his heart open, needing to hear the words that she was so close to saying…
“Ye are going to make me say it first, aren’t ye?” She raised an eyebrow at him.
“For someone who likes the sound of their voice as much as you do, I am surprised by the objection.”
She scoffed. “Perhaps I like a man willing to take charge?”
“Perhaps I like a woman who knows what she wants.” He was smiling now, laughing softly at the banter and the way they danced around the point.
“What I want, Lysander?” she sighed and then smiled. “As obvious as that is, it looks as if for the last time I am going to need to clear the air, for if I dae nae, I will have nae choice but to return to Scotland. And to be honest with ye, the weather this time of year is nae to be coveted. Anything to avoid such things.”
He laughed. “Ah yes, the weather. I would hate for you to be burdened by such a thing as that.”
