Page 45 of His Highland Duchess
“This isn’t about the puppy, is it?” he said, tempering his anger. In fact, he almost looked regretful as he stared down at her.
“Maybe…”
“When I found you just now, my intent was not to scold you. I was worried for you, Margaret. In fact…” He shook his head to himself as if he could not believe what he was about to say. “I was coming to apologize.”
She blinked. “Ye were?”
“The way I spoke to you in front of Julian – the way that I dismissed you. It was not your fault, and nothing you did was the cause. That was my…” His shoulders slumped, and he exhaled. “My own issues, which I am still very much coming to terms with.”
Margaret looked at the duke in surprise. He was not an emotionally vulnerable man, and she sensed that he never liked to admit fault where he could help it. But she could see in him a need to open to her, as if he were waiting for her to give him permission.
“Do you wish to talk about it?” she asked carefully as she scratched under Spotty’s floppy ears.
“Not really,” he chuckled bitterly. “But I think that we must. When I came to you yesterday evening, what I thought I was doing was clearing the air between us. I see now that I have only made things more confusing.”
She laughed softly. “Nae everything. Some things…” She looked him over suggestively. The wet made his shirt stick to him, through which she could see the dark hairs of his chest. Oh, how she wanted to run her fingers through them. “Some things between us could nae be clearer.”
He laughed with her, noticing where her eyes had strayed, and grinning. “On that, at least, we can agree. But that is also theproblem. I…” He considered her for a moment before indicating the arm of the sofa. “May I?”
“Please.” She shuffled over slightly.
He sat on the sofa’s arm and draped his arm over the back. Margaret half wished that his hand might find her back instead, or her thigh. As they both agreed, where their attraction was concerned, there were no questions about how they felt.But this is nae about attraction. Nae anymore. Where it might be nice, I think he sees now that more is needed if we are to survive.
“You know that I’ve been married before,” he began, looking at her for confirmation. She nodded once. “What you likely do not know is how…” He clicked his tongue. “I do not want to say unhappy, for I never looked at it as such. Rather, it was plain. There was no love between my first wife and me. No passion or desire or…” His eyes roamed over her, and she could see him losing focus. Despite herself, Margaret shifted the dog to cover her body. The duke pulled himself away and shook his head. “It was a marriage designed for one purpose. Children.”
“A success then,” she laughed awkwardly.
He also chuckled. “I suppose so. The point is that I preferred things this way. It made it easy for me. There was no confusion or pretext. I was able to live as I always have, worrying not for anyone but myself. And my daughters, of course,” he made sure to add. “But my views toward marriage have changed considerably. Such that when we wed, I was expecting much the same.”
“Sorry to disappoint,” she said with a coy smile that she could not help.
“I did not expect this,” he continued, shuffling a little closer. “Indeed, when you first arrived, I was at pains to ensure that nothing grew between you and me. Truthfully, I was scared that something might, for I was not equipped to deal with such things.”
“Aurelia and Lenora…”
“I thought it best that you avoid them entirely, for the same reason. I told you that I believed you would be a bad influence, which was half true,” he laughed softly as his hand moved from the back of the chair to the back of her neck. His fingers traced her skin lightly, and she had to suppress the urge to moan. “More than that, I worried that if you and I grew too close…” He shook his head.
Margaret saw her chance then and took it. “It does nae have ta be that way. The Season will end soon enough, I will be gone, and ye can return to pretending that I do nae exist.”
“But you do exist,” he said, looking at her softly, his smile just as much.
“Is that… is that such a bad thing?”
“You undo me, Margaret. Even when we first met, I knew then that you were unlike any woman I had ever known. I thoughtI would be able to control myself. That once I got to know you better, I would see that you were wrong for me, and for my daughters, and that would be the end of it.”
“Again, so sorry ta disappoint.” She sat herself up and moved closer, one hand resting now on his thigh as he continued to stroke the back of her neck. The puppy lay nuzzled in her lap, but it was practically forgotten as they gazed fully at one another; the orange flames from the hearth setting their skin alight as if they had both caught fire.
“I want you,” the duke said, his voice turning soft. “And where I do not wish to be presumptuous, I assume the same can be said of you.”
She smiled sheepishly and nodded, looking away only to look back just as quickly. Needing him to see just how true his words were.
“It is a good start, but it is far from all that matters. And this sense of confusion which exists between us, I cannot help but think it comes from a place of uncertainty. The end of the Season…” He, too, trailed off, and she worried he would let it hang forever. “I do not wish to put any pressure on you. Or to make any promises that neither of us are willing to keep.”
“You wish for me to stay?”
He took a moment with that. Looking away, biting into his lip with uncertainty. “Is there more here than mere desire? That is the question I cannot get past.”
“I…” She hesitated. “I am not sure.”
