Page 96 of Devanté
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
I was so thankful Janet helped me set up for my mother’s party tomorrow night. Mom was there too but she didn’t do anything besides delegate. When Janet left and I was alone with her, my body tensed and my head started to ache. I felt like everything I did was either wrong or being scrutinized.
“I think we’re good to go. Unless you see something that needs to be changed,” I said, looking around the spacious venue. The white rose teddy bears were placed on tall golden columns, the tables and chairs were all covered in crisp white linen, and all the centerpieces were completed and on the tables.
“I guess everything looks okay.” She said walking around the tables smoothing her palm over every tablecloth. “Oh, this one is crooked,” she said, pointing to a table. Why couldn’t she straighten the damn tablecloth? She was right there.
I walked over and tugged it straight with an attitude. She didn’t miss the opportunity to call me out on it. With her hands fixed to her slender hips, she said, “Blake, you’ve had a nasty attitude ever since you got home. I thought you’d be happier since Devanté is back in your life.”
“I’m fine, Ma.”
“Are you jealous because he’s bringing a date to my party tomorrow?” She walked over and nudged me. “I know you’ve always had a little crush on him. You have a thing for stuff outside of your reach.”
“What does that even mean?” I asked, tossing my hand in the air.
“I know you like the unattainable. Remember what happened in college with that pretty girl Gabi?”
Pretty girl?
My headache worsened.
“You reached for a friendship that was unattainable and it ended up hurting you and breaking up the longstanding friendship you had with Devanté.”
“Ma, that was all Gabi. Devanté had nothing to do with it. I was wrong.” I shook my head and started picking up trash even though the staff told me I didn’t need to. I had to do something with myself.
“Even still, do you see what happens when you try to step into the world of beautiful people?” She sighed softly and ran her fingers through her hair. “Didn’t Devanté end up dating that girl?”
“Nope. Another lie,” I said, aggressively throwing away cardboard.
“They should have dated. She’s so pretty.” She paused for a beat then smiled. “I wonder if that’s who he’s bringing to the party tomorrow.”
“No!” My words jumped out, angry and hot. “He’s bringing me!” Mom was taken back by my outburst. She opened her mouth then closed it after finding nothing to say.
Finally, a laugh fell from her lips. “You? No, sweetheart, I meant to say…as a date. You know?”
“I know!I’mDevanté’s date. I’m Devanté’s girlfriend. Me.” I expelled the words so forcefully my chest ached.
“You’reDevanté’s girlfriend?” She said it like I told her I was from Saturn or something. Her finely arched brows were pulled high on her forehead and her eyes were narrowed in disbelief.
“Yes, Ma! We’ve loved each other since we were kids. Everyone else knows it…even Dad knows. You’re the only one who refuses to see it. You haven’t even asked.”
More wide-eyed stares followed by silence. Then finally, “I can’t believe it. Is this a joke? Are you playing around, Blake?”
“Why would I play about something like this?”
“I don’t know. It just seems…wrong. You’re not exactly Devanté’s type.” Her forehead wrinkled under the weight of confusion.
“Wrong? Not his type? Do you hear yourself?” Tears stung my eyes. “Do you even care how much that hurts me?”
“Hurts you? Blake, I’m not trying to hurt you.”
“You think I like hearing you go on and on about everything that’s wrong with me? You think I like hearing why I’m not good enough for Devanté and why he’s so perfect and I’m beneath him?” Fuck holding back the tears, Mom needed to see how her words pierced me.
“I…I didn’t know it was hurting you. Is that why you haven’t told me about your relationship with him?” She pulled out a chair and sat down like the weight of it all was too much.
“Yes. It’s not just about my relationship though. It’s everything, Ma. I thought I spent years healing because of what happened between me and Devanté in college but that was only part of it. I was healing from the lifetime of damage you did by always putting me down.”
“Putting you down? Honey, I only want the best for you. Ever since you were little, I’ve wanted to push you and help you not hurt you.” She sounded so sincere that I was stunned. She really thought she was helping.
