Page 55 of Devanté
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
After spending the night with Devanté and doing the very thing I’d always fantasized about, I was a ball of confusion.
I cheated on Devin.
I was worried about his fidelity when I threw mine off the penthouse balcony with no problem. By the time I got home, my head was pounding. I’d never stayed out all night and turned my phone off. I was someone else when I was with Devanté.
I was carefree. A breeze over the ocean. I enjoyed the waves and the salt. I enjoyed the freedom of taking in every breath and acknowledging it instead of using my breaths as beats to pass the time.
Devanté made me feel alive from my scalp to my toenails. He made my body sing unknowable jazz songs and pen sonnets. I was his blank canvas to mold and shape last night and he was mine.
I crept into the house at six in the morning. Devin’s car was in the driveway and all the lights were off inside. I stopped in the living room and sat on the couch, curling my legs and feet beneath my body. My thighs still sang with flashbacks of Devanté’s mouth and teeth and…everythingall over me.
God, that man devoured me whole. He ground my bones into cocaine-fine dust and sniffed me into his blood. I was connected to him in ways we’d never been connected before. If it weren’t for him being so blunt and forward, I wouldn’t have believed he wanted me. After last night, there was no question.
If it felt that good to be properly loved and handled, then why the fuck was I wasting time with Devin? He never made me feel like that. Not even on our best day.
I turned my phone on and watched the notifications pour in. I had several texts from Devin asking if I was out with Noa.
Devin: You’re out late with your friend. You want me to wait up for you?
Devin: You okay, babe?
Devin: You and Noa must have met up. I texted her too. No answer.
Devin: Alright, Blake. I’m playing the game for a few hours then I’m turning in. Try not to be loud when you come in. I need to wake up early to film with Kenzie.
A frown yanked the corners of my mouth down. I stared at Kenzie’s name on my screen for a while. Something about it curdled my stomach but why?
Even if I suspected him of cheating with her, why would I care? Yes, we were giving ourselves four weeks to make our relationship better but clearly, I had other plans. Maybe he did too. The only way I’d find answers to quell the ebb and flow dueling in my head was to talk to Devin. We had to have a heart-to-heart or else we’d implode from the loaded silence we carried on our tongues.
I went upstairs and flicked the lights on in the bedroom. It was inconsiderate as hell but it was a drop in the bucket compared to the way Devin had been treating what was supposed to be our space. He grumbled and turned over on his back, shielding his eyes from the light.
“Blake?” His deep voice was dragged down by slumber.
“Hey, Devin. I’m just getting in and…” My eyes bounced over to my empty side of the bed. Wrinkled lines stretched across the usually pristine sheet and a dip flattened the pillow where my head laid. “I think we need to talk,” I said softly, fidgeting with my fingers.
“Talk? About what?” He slid upright in bed, resting his head against the headboard. “It’s six something in the morning.” He grabbed his phone from the nightstand and checked the time then looked to my empty side of the bed.
“I know. I just have some things on my mind that can’t wait.”
“Like what, Blake?” He slid his hands down his tired face and stared at me.
“Like us. I don’t think we’re going to make it these four weeks.” I sat on the corner of the bed and stared across the room. On the dresser sat pictures of me and Devin laughing. He always kept me laughing. Now, there was nothing to laugh at. No humor to be found between us. We were two people going through the motions.
“What the fuck happened when you went out with your friend. Did she fill your head with bullshit?”
She?
He thought I was going out with a girlfriend.
To be fair, when Devanté invited me and Devin out for dinner, I never told him who my childhood friend was. I never even mentioned Devanté. Not in the year we’d been dating. Sometimes, it hurt too much to bring him up. I hadn’t told Noa about him either. Nobody who came into my life after college knew I used to be best friends with the number one model in the world.
“No,” I said, wetting my lips. “I just had a lot of time to think.”
I had a lot of time to fuck someone who actually loved me.
“Then where is this coming from? We had a deal. Four weeks.”
