Page 40 of Devanté
When the door closed behind her, Devin turned his anger toward me but I was ready for the fight. “Blake, what the fuck was that? You came in my space throwing my friends out when we were trying to get some work done.” Devin’s audacity sent a thunderstorm through my body. Beneath the surface of my skin crackled with lightning and the thoughts in my head rumbled like thunder. Devin was on thin ice.
“Yourspace? You live inmyfucking house, Devin! You moved in with me, not the other way around.”
“When I moved in this became my space too, Blake. We talked about that.”
“We did and you seem to have taken it and ran the longest mile in history. You think it’s okay to have your friends over here all day and all night? You think it’s okay to have me cook for them like a short-order cook?”
“That’s what a good wife would do, right? We’re moving toward that, aren’t we? Or maybe I misread our relationship.”
“A good wife? I’m sorry is this 1951? I go to work all day long to keep the lights on and water running. I don’t sit at home on my ass playing with my friends all day.” I paused and shut my eyes for a second. My temper was getting away from me. I wanted to talk to him. Not yell at him.
Devin slid a palm over his face and laughed a little before leaning against the wall. “I know what this is. You’re pissed because Kenzie was over here. I had to think about it for a minute but now I get it.”
“Oh my god…” I said, rubbing my temples. “First of all, I don’t know Kenzie to be upset by her presence. Secondly, your friends being over here like they pay rent is my problem period. Shit, you’re here likeyoupay rent.” I muttered, rolling my eyes.
“You know I’m trying to work on new content to get people clicking on ads. I’m having a rough patch right now. Don’t throw that shit in my face.”
“You know what, Devin? You’re right. I’m pissed off, let me bring it down a notch.” I pressed my fingertips together to stifle the urge to mush him in the forehead. “Let me start by telling you how I feel.” I sat on the arm of the couch and looked past him because I was scared that if I looked directly at him, I’d get pissed all over again.
“Yeah, let me know because I’m in the dark and this attitude is coming out of nowhere.” He shrugged and sat in the chair across from the couch.
I bit my tongue to keep from hurling inflammatory words at him then I sucked in a deep breath. “I feel taken for granted and I feel taken advantage of, Devin. Now, you’re getting to the point where you bring new people over and you don’t even run it past me. That’s disrespectful and rude as fuck.”
“So, you are pissed about Kenzie.” His tone was smug and all-knowing. “Listen, babe, she’s an up and coming comedienne and we’re helping her get views.”
“Your views are tanking, so how the hell are you helping someone else?” I frowned. I knew the ins and outs of his business because I created his marketing campaign and ran it until he made a million dollars from running ads on his videos alone. Since I liked him at the time, I had a tentative future projection plan written up. It included merchandise and appearances. He didn’t follow anything on that plan though. Of course not. It meant he’d have to step outside of his comfort zone.
“They’re picking back up,” he countered.
“Devin, you need to step away from the boys for a minute and go over that projection plan I made for you. You’re the frontman of The Blue Boyz. You could have so many opportunities if you’d reach out and grab them.
“I’m not doing anything without taking my boys with me.”
“How can you take them with you when you’re not going anywhere? This is another part of my issue. You refuse to move forward. It’s like you’re okay with mediocrity. You came on the comedy scene, gained popularity, got money and now you’re plateauing. You don’t even seem to care that it’s costing you money because you moved in with me and forgot you had to actually work to make money.”
“All I hear from you is dollars. Is that what our relationship has become, Blake?”
“I also told you that it’s stressing me out to come home to all your friends and now new people when I get home from work. So no, it’s not only money, even though that’s a big part.” I looked at him, hoping to see the man who made me laugh and the one who made me feel good when I saw him and talked to him. I didn’t see him anymore and my heart sank.
It was a singular moment that showed me everything I needed to see. I wanted to shut my eyes against the image but the longer I did, the more of a headache I’d be in for later. Devin was blasting his true colors for me to see in high definition. It hurt to admit that for the past year I’d been living with a mistake.
“Devin, to be honest, I don’t know if this living situation is working out for us. I’ll be fair and give you four weeks to leave but I can’t lose peace in my own house. That’s insane. I can’t believe I let it go on for this long.”
“What?” His thick brown brows fell low on his forehead casting a stormy shadow over his face. “Are you saying we’re breaking up?”
“Yeah. I think so,” I said with a shrug. My stomach quivered with the realization that I was walking away from a year with this man. Before him, I had hookups and casual flings but Devin was supposed to work. I thought he was the one.
“Blake, please…I don’t want to lose you. Let me know what to do to make it right.” Were those tears in his eyes? I wasn’t built for shit like that. Seeing him cry struck a sour chord with me. It felt disingenuous. My heart wanted to buy into what he was selling me though.
“I shouldn’t have to tell you. Common emotional sense should tell you. Compassion and consideration should tell you.”
“Okay. I hear you. I won’t have the boys…or Kenzie over when you get home from work and I’ll try to pay some things around here. How much is the mortgage?”
“How much is the mortgage? I told you how much all the bills were. I made a spreadsheet that split all the bills in half. I handed you a physical copy and emailed you a copy for your records. How don’t you know this?”
“It’s been a while,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m willing to do whatever I have to do to keep you. I love you.” He moved beside me on the couch and leaned in for a kiss. His lips met mine but there was nothing there.
I turned my head and stood to my feet. “Four weeks, Devin. If we can’t work through things then…we need to go our separate ways before we invest any more time into this relationship.”
“We’ll make it happen.” I wanted to believe him but my mind refused. So, I listened to my heart instead.
…
