Page 91 of Whiskey and Regret
“You promised me dick and I promised you I’d play Janet Jackson on Sunshine.”
“Yeah, I know. You’re not doing anything right now though. We’re going to lay here and I’m going to hold you until you fall asleep.” He laid me in his plush bed. My eyes found the ceiling and I stared at it, hoping the room would stop spinning while Evander gingerly undressed me.
“You might have been right about me being drunk,” I told him, stretching a finger into the air.
“Yeah, I know I was right.”
“You’re so fucking arrogant, Freeman.”
“I’m confident,” he countered, a smile hanging on his words. His smile made me smile. It was contagious. “You have the prettiest smile, Xari…” His big warm hand reached up and caressed my dimples.
“So do you. You’re just really fucking hot, Evander. Like, how are you a senator? How?” I lifted my head an inch and noticed I was only in my bra and panties. Damn, he moved fast.
“By force. Not by choice,” he sighed before pulling his shirt from his pants and unbuttoning it. I watched even in my drunken haze and admired the construction of his body.
Warm bronze abs laid out brick by brick. Perfect pecs and mahogany brown nipples. The artwork mapped out on his skin made him look like he belonged in a museum. My gaze fell to the sinewy slashes at his hips. Veins stretched beneath his skin dancing along that damn V-cut leading to a dark crop of hair. He kept himself neat and I appreciated it more than I knew I would.
The room shifted and spun again, obstructing my view. I wanted to at least glance at his dick even if it was soft. But my eyes forced themselves shut to stop the spinning.
“You’re giving me D’AngeloHow Does It Feelvibes right now,” I told him. His hearty laugh made me smile.
“Because I’m half-naked?”
“Kind of,” I shrugged, trying to open my eyes to see if I could steal a look at his cock. “Mainly because I can’t see the money shot and it’s pissing me off. Which, by the way, was an iconic marketing move for D’Angelo because I know every woman watching that video was salivating.” I remembered my first time watching theHow Does It Feelvideo. I wanted the camera to slip just a few more inches.
“You weren’t even alive when that video came out,” Evander pointed out.
“Your point?” I rolled over and groaned at the way my head swam.
“Here,” he walked over and pulled something warm and soft over my head. It smelled like him. Like his detergent and his energy. I cracked open an eye and glanced down at the red t-shirt he dressed me in. It was his. I clutched the fabric in my fist and smiled before my head hit the pillow.
“I like wearing your shirts,” I told him. He slid in bed behind me and pulled my body against his.
“Why?” He brushed an escaped chunk of curls back and kissed my shoulder. My stomach fluttered.
“Because I like feeling close to you. I don’t usually feel close to anyone but I feel close to you.”
“I feel close to you too, Xari.” He left more kisses on my exposed shoulder that turned me to jelly.
“It’s because I push you outside of your comfort zone, isn’t it?”
“Yes, actually.” He drew in a deep breath and I heard something unspoken sloshing in the silence between us. I turned over and looked into his cognac eyes. “I can’t remember the last time I felt alive with passion.You’repassion, Xari. You’re like a flame. You pull me in every fucking time.”
“I hope that’s a good thing. Flames destroy things.” A frown wedged itself between my brows.
“Destroying who I am wouldn’t be a bad thing.” My throat tightened when he traced my face, sliding his pointer finger over my eyebrows smoothing away the frown, then down the bridge of my nose and over my cheekbones.
“Why would you say that? I don’t want to destroy you, Evander. Is that what you think is happening?”
“Who I am in front of everyone, except for you and Frankie, is bullshit. I’ve been bullshitting my way through life for the past…two decades. It took a flame to set fire to everything for me to see what my bones look like. So just because I say you’re a flame doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing.”
I held my next breath hostage in my throat. Evander was making me feel things and they all rushed me at once. I couldn’t pick any one thing out of the mess flooding my brain.
“You do that to me too,” I said reluctantly. Emotions collected under my skin burning the surface with something freezing cold and piping hot at the same time.
“You seem like you’re always true to yourself. How could someone like me show you who you really are?” He asked, furrowing his brows.
“I have this habit of not dealing with shit. I internalize my true feelings a lot. It’s easier to be who people expect me to be when I hide things in the back of my mind somewhere.”
